I write about dragons on the internet, Dad

When I moved in with my father, part of it was a genuine interest in reconnecting with him, and part of it was a keen desire to help around the house and simply keep him company. My dad turns 83 this year, although you couldn't really tell that from looking at him or talking to him. He grew up on a farm in the middle of nowhere, worked for Dow Chemical for an extraordinary number of years, retired, and somewhere in between had two marriages and five children. (I'm one of the products of the second marriage.)
He has seen quite a lot in his life. He saw Snow White and the Seven Dwarves when it premiered in theaters in 1937. His first car was a Model-T that he dug out of a neighbor's manure pile and inexplicably got running again when he was 14. He served in the military as a paratrooper, worked with some of the first computers in existence, and can fix just about anything I bring to him, regardless of how technologically advanced the thing is. He hasn't grown old so much as he's watched the world get older around him and adapted to it as time goes on.
And yet I still have this terrible reticence about trying to explain to him exactly what it is I do on Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday evenings, and what I do for a living.
He has seen quite a lot in his life. He saw Snow White and the Seven Dwarves when it premiered in theaters in 1937. His first car was a Model-T that he dug out of a neighbor's manure pile and inexplicably got running again when he was 14. He served in the military as a paratrooper, worked with some of the first computers in existence, and can fix just about anything I bring to him, regardless of how technologically advanced the thing is. He hasn't grown old so much as he's watched the world get older around him and adapted to it as time goes on.
And yet I still have this terrible reticence about trying to explain to him exactly what it is I do on Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday evenings, and what I do for a living.

In contrast, I don't talk about my gaming with my family too much. They have a brief understanding of what I do, but I don't go into details all that much. I believe I coined the term Computer Thing for raiding with my Dad; when I moved in, I explained that I had things I did on certain nights, and when he asked for clarification, I said I was doing computer things with friends. As time went on, I explained a bit more about what I was doing, how it was a game, but a game with 24 other people all working together. He thought it was a neat idea but left it at that.
When I got the job here at WoW Insider, it required another explanation of sorts. This time, I explained that the computer things that I did three times a week with friends involved a game with a big old, huge story and a lot of books behind it, and I was going to be writing about that story. On the internet. For people to read. I don't know if he got it at the time, but he was delighted that I was writing and getting paychecks for doing so, as he used to write when he was younger (when he wasn't digging old cars out of manure piles).
My brother and my sister don't quite get what I do, either. They understand I write about video games, but neither of them play, really. My sister has a family of her own with four boys to take care of, so there's little time for video games. My brother works long hours at a job that pays relatively well, and he doesn't really feel the need to play games like WoW when he's done at work. Usually he just watches movies or something along those lines.
I think what makes it difficult has nothing to do with my Dad or my siblings -- honestly, it's just me. I think, in a world that talks about video game addiction and how games are terrible for you and how people waste their time on games, that I don't want to come across as one of those people with said video game addictions. It's not really an addiction; it's something to do for fun. Only now, it's also evolved into a job that I do -- which is weird enough for me to think about, much less explain to other people.
I do find myself wondering however, the same question that A Sunnier Bear asked: How do people explain WoW to non-WoW players? I can't quite figure out how to do it, myself -- not without coming across as slightly crazy. It's like trying to explain how to do electrical wiring to someone whose experience in the matter goes as far as flipping a light switch. So how do you do it, and make it sound ... sane?
My Dad came into my room one night while I was raiding, just in time to see my guild finish off heroic Halfus Wrymbreaker. I remember the look of intense curiosity on his face as he watched, while my guild was cheering happily in my ears via my headset. He absorbed the candy colors on the screen, the little elves, orcs, tauren and other assorted players scurrying around a glittering corpse, and asked, "So did you just kill that thing?" I said yes, and then he asked me about what I was making for dinner the following night, the technicolor celebration forgotten.
I asked him once what it was like to see Snow White in the theaters back in 1937. I mean, there he was, experiencing history, something that would begin a whole new genre of film, something that just boggled my mind. What was it like to experience that first hand? He said, "It was all right, for a cartoon."
I think, rather than going into explanations about the game or the impact it's made in its lifespan, I'll just stick to calling WoW that Computer Thing. It's probably for the best.
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Reader Comments (Page 3 of 5)
nosoup4u76 Feb 14th 2012 8:38AM
@Homeschool,
Anyone who claims that a beer-league softball team or a bowling team is helping them remain "active" and healthy is VERY disillusioned. Unless three trips to the snack stand for beer counts as valid exercise, I think you're getting just about as much activity playing the game and banging on your keyboard.
Dart118 Feb 13th 2012 12:19PM
This was one of the best article I've read on WoW Insider lately.
WildHarp Feb 13th 2012 12:18PM
I so hear you, Anne. My dad is the same age as yours, except that he worked with cars all his life and doesn't really get computers and the internet. My siblings do but neither of them are gamers, and they all more or less think of gaming as somehow inferior to "real" life (as if they were mutually exclusive!). In addition, my "computer thing" doesn't pay the bills either so it seems to them even more like I'm just wasting time!
I tend to explain WoW by saying that it's like a fantasy novel that you get to experience yourself - or rather, with an avatar. And when people start making negative remarks, I point out that most others spend their evenings in front of the TV, and that's not exactly creative or social, that at least I play with 24 others, and that I do go out see my "real" friends regularly. I don't know how much of the explanation sticks, but I'll not start hiding my hobby from people just because of prejudices in society!
My dad ... well, that's another story :-)
Revnah Feb 13th 2012 12:22PM
Gaaah, duplicate post with my old account's name. How??
Apologies, and feel free to downvote.
Revnah Feb 13th 2012 12:20PM
I so hear you, Anne. My dad is the same age as yours, except that he worked with cars all his life and doesn't really get computers and the internet. My siblings do but neither of them are gamers, and they all more or less think of gaming as somehow inferior to "real" life (as if they were mutually exclusive!). In addition, my "computer thing" doesn't pay the bills either so it seems to them even more like I'm just wasting time!
I tend to explain WoW by saying that it's like a fantasy novel that you get to experience yourself - or rather, with an avatar. And when people start making negative remarks, I point out that most others spend their evenings in front of the TV, and that's not exactly creative or social, that at least I play with 24 others, and that I do go out see my "real" friends regularly. I don't know how much of the explanation sticks, but I'll not start hiding my hobby from people just because of prejudices in society!
My dad ... well, that's another story :-)
Shinae Feb 13th 2012 12:23PM
I appreciate you writing about such an intensely personal subject, Anne. It was a joy to read.
Fortunately, my folks can understand WoW to an extent. They were Tolkien geeks when they were my age, so they can identify with the fantasy setting. My dad might have played it if it weren't an MMO and subscription-based. For now, he sticks to playing golf and flight simulators. My brother thinks I'm a big nerd for playing WoW, but that's nothing new. ;)
Peebers Feb 13th 2012 12:24PM
if you were a boy, you'd have to put it differently. prolly like "computer things. but with the door open."
Pyromelter Feb 13th 2012 1:23PM
You, my good sir, win the Clever Post of the Day award.
Purva Feb 13th 2012 12:29PM
Well i work for a gpu manufacturer, so it is safe yo say gaming is pretty big at work since we are kindof a gaming company. Plus since im in India, practically everyone i know is an engineer, so to be a engineer but gaming most of the day causes a few skeptical eyebrows to rise among the older generation. My explanation then is simple. You know ppl who play games? Kids and grownups both? Yes on the pc. Well, we help them play those games.
Ive had A LOT of fellow gamers come and tell me and my colleagues how jealous they are of our jobs (its awesome i agree, but its kindof mundane after a while). And ive had some parents who ask me not to let their kids know i game for a living, coz the only way they have been able to drag their kids away from their games and back to studies is by dire threats that gaming doeant pay the bills when you grow up (or something to that effect).
All in all, if ppl understand WHAT games are, its easy enuf to explain that we help ppl game; but for ppl who dont know what it is, we just say "computer stuff" and leave it be.
piekid Feb 13th 2012 12:28PM
*Great* article. I often have the same questions involving family and explaining my WoW hobby. When it's raid time, my dad always says, "So you're gonna go play your 'game' now?" and my mom calls raid my "appointment". She understands it more than him, and oddly I like her term better. It sounds more important.
Rastlin Feb 13th 2012 12:48PM
I tend to try and avoid the subject of WoW with the non-gaming community. My mom knows what I do and she understands that I do it to relax, she watches "Bones" to do the same. I did get my semi-hardcore friend into WoW after a year of him seeing me play it but never understanding what was going on till I made him a character and let him try it out for a bit. He loved it and so I bought him Vanilla and BC for his birthday.
As for the rest of my friends it's just "A game". I go to culinary school and this is what I enjoy doing after I get home and on the weekends. I avoid the name of the game because like the article said, people hear a lot about video game addiction and WoW is the first game people think of when that term is used.
Ramvol Feb 13th 2012 12:43PM
This is a great article.
It is just the opposite for me with the family and gaming. Ever since my brother and I have been out of the house and personal computers have been widely available we have always played games with our dad. I'm 43 and my brother is 41 and our dad is 67 and he has more 85's than both of us put together. We all played Quake, Unreal together. This is back when ISDN was high speed and we saved our minutes just play games and used dailup for surfing. My dad and brother started up a clan in RTCW and competed in I believe it was called cal league. When we have family get together all of sit around and usually talk about Wow. Even my uncle who is 60 and his 30 something son plays. My dad and uncle will call each other and talk about LFR, what BG they are doing the coming weekend and if they have had any major gear upgrades.
Tmara Feb 13th 2012 5:51PM
;_; I envy you so much.
My sister thinks I'm geek/nerd (and not with good connotations) - but she's a girly girl and I'm .. well .. not. We're total opposites. My parents understand how fun gaming can be and stuff (they've been buying me computers since the Vic20), but they don't really understand the MMO side of things - that if they drop by unannounced and we're in a dungeon, we can't really drop everything because there's other people on the other side of the world that would be pissed at us, and it's rude.
I have no family who MMO game, or friends (apart from the ones I have met through WoW).
furry Feb 13th 2012 12:42PM
When I try to explain it to people, I explain it as being kind of like a bowling league. I'm on a team with other people, many of whom I probably don't know outside of the bowling league, but we meet regularly at certain point(s) of the week and do what we do as a hobby. We are working together toward the same goal, but each of us need to bring our own skills to the game.
Grovinofdarkhour Feb 13th 2012 12:46PM
Anne (which is coincidentally also my Mom's name, BTW) -
http://wow.joystiq.com/2011/02/17/the-queue-when-is-patch-4-1/comments/33108183/
You've already been more open with your Dad about WoW than I was in the time I had. He obviously doesn't love you less for it. If there's more you want to tell him about it, just tell him. If not, then don't. But you've got nothing to feel ashamed or embarrassed about.
Grovin
Doug Feb 14th 2012 11:49AM
Grovin, I distinctly remember reading that when you posted it last year. Both of my parents were gone before I started playing WoW, and I've often wondered how I would explain it to them if I had the opportunity to. Your post last year made me think about this a lot, and Anne's article today has brought me back to it again.
Carrie Shamo Feb 13th 2012 1:58PM
I've often explained WoW as a chance to play a boardgame with friends, except those friends are all across the country and the board is digital.
lemonzingers Feb 13th 2012 1:04PM
Another great post Anne. I think many of us who celebrate gaming, outside of gaming do have a bit of trouble explaining it with family.
My sister told my Aunt that I "Make fake food."
My Aunt,"So you can't eat it. Is it plastic?"
Sis,"No, you can eat it, it just doesn't exist."
I think my sister is confusing me with holodeck 9.
saliira Feb 13th 2012 1:04PM
I have an easier time explaining computer games (even MMOs) to people than explaining pen-and-paper RPGs. "It's kinda like interactive storytelling and improvisational theater mixed together, with some elements of RISK and ... um... Monopoly" is about as close as I've gotten.
albusrequiem36 Feb 13th 2012 1:05PM
Thank you for writing this article Anne. This is easily one of the most thoughtful and well written articles from anyone on wowinsider that I've read. It's a subject that I feel nearly every person that plays wow can relate to on some level.
It's hard for my mother and sisters to understand what I mean when I tell them that when I'm raiding/playing a game with nine other people. They don't understand that there is no pause button. They don't understand that I can't just walk away anytime they need something. When I raided I would let them know well in advance when I wouldn't be available and that from x to y not to bother me unless it was an emergency. (Running out of chips and needing me to go get more is NOT an emergency) They have gotten better after I explained that me and my group of friends had to schedule this raid and that it would be very rude to waste of undermine the time commitment by frequently having to leave or asking them to wait. By saying it was more like a business meeting than a game it helped solve a lot of issues. They still ask me anytime that I play if I have "beaten the game" or if I'm "winning" normally I say that you can't beat the game and that winning is relative....now I just say yes to all. They are very much ok with my hobby and don't think I'm one of those "crazy internet addicts". I work full time and go to college full time so my game time has been diminished as of late but I still get questions from my family every so often and I just nod my head, tell them yes, and thank them for asking.