Patch 5.3 interview with Ghostcrawler
Mystery of the Unborn Val'kyr
The latest patch 5.3 news
All of the latest Mists of Pandaria newsDrama Mamas: Choosing between preferred class and raid leader
by Robin Torres 
Feb 20th 2012 at 9:00AM
Happy Presidents' Day, if you are in the United States! Otherwise, happy Monday.
We are getting in letters for an all-new results edition of Drama Mamas, but we could still use some more. If you have written the Drama Mamas and we have answered you in print, please send us an email at robin@wowinsider.com. We will compile the responses in a future column, once we get enough of them.
What's up Drama Mamas?!
Today I come with a problem of sorts... I'm part of this guild where we were all pretty close and get along great, we have been that way throughout cataclysm and I feel sorta connected to these folks.
Now about a month or so ago a few of our core raid members that were originally on the team I was part of quit the game. That caused a rift in our guild and the leader of our second raid team stepped up to the plate and now leads our core group (as well as the guild but that's a different story). While we were trying to figure out who makes the cut for our first raid group we held try outs of sorts and in the group was myself and the rogue from the second group (we both play rogues so we needed to see who got the spot). Well I was beaten by the rogue of the second group by a slim margin so the leader decided to take him on as a regular.
Ever since then, it seems like the people who were my friends and guild mates started to move ahead and I was left to settle on the back burner. The guild leader suggested I start up a second group since he knew how much I loved to raid with them and since he felt bad that I wasn't part of the action. Sadly, I had to switch to tanking the second group on my paladin because I wasn't performing as well leading while trying to play a dps role (also I had a real life friend who switched to my server with her rogue so it gave me another reason to change roles, we tried two rogues but I just couldn't handle having both of us fighting for the top thanks to my competitive nature). I didn't mind as much but it isn't the same since it was on my rogue. Even though I'm the leader of this second group (made mostly of pugs with the occasional alt) I still feel the urge to play the character that I love and to do what I loved.
I still feel alienated from the few who I was friends with and I miss the old team we had during the start of the expansion, but being the leader of this group, I feel as if I have to stay with them. I'm not sure whether I should stay with this rag tag group or find somewhere where I can start fresh and continue playing what I love. I mentioned to my guild about leaving on only my main but both they and I know my group would suffer. I don't feel much kinship with these new people as much as I did with my old team in fact, one of my old teammates switched over to the alliance because he felt the same way I did (he stopped raiding after our core group fell apart). I'm at a dilemma, leave my guild and start fresh, but lose my chance to lead, or stay and feel like an outsider.
Sincerely; shaftedLeader
Drama Mama Lisa: Welcome to the sea of nostalgia and regret. If you step over the breakers gently lapping at your feet, you'll soon find yourself precariously balanced on a lone stepping stone, stranded by the impossibly slick moss clinging to every rocky memory poking above the surface. There's no going forward, and there's no going back. It's just you and the occasional gull swooping down to callously peck at your feet -- but the water, oh, the water ... such lovely visions just under the surface, flickering in the sunlight ... You could reach out and touch them if only you weren't for some reason afraid to slide down into the water ...Feel familiar?
Wow, that was quite a windup -- but ah, the bittersweet pangs of nostalgia. There's no way back to what you had, Shafted. That beautiful synergy of your original group? It's gone, trickled downstream and lost in the sea of memories. The first raid group has moved on -- and while they like you well enough, they don't have a place for you. In the meantime, you're clinging to the stepping stone just above those waters without regard for the green fields awaiting you back on shore.
Go back to dry land, Shafted. The first ship has sailed, and the second ship deserves a captain whose heart is in the game. Rally your friend and look for a new guild home.
The grass really is greener back on the shore.
Drama Mama Robin: Shafted ... actually, I have a hard time calling you Shafted. How were you shafted? By people leaving because they wanted to? By not making the primary team after what seemed like a fair trial? By your choice to play your tank instead of your rogue? I don't get it. I do get your conundrum, though, and I understand your feelings about it.I feel awfully sorry for your raid group. You call them a rag-tag team and say you feel no kinship with them. They are already suffering from your attitude. It's up to you as their leader to create a positive atmosphere. Take advice from Wilson on House by finding common likes and dislikes. Your companions are only as boring as your lack of effort to get to know them.
But this may be a moot point. You need to decide which you prefer, playing your rogue or leading a raid. If being raid leader is the most important to you, then stay where you are and be happy with your decision. You could even try practicing leading while playing your rogue until you get it right and have the best of both worlds. When I say to be happy, I mean to stop questioning your decision and kvetching about it. If you can't, then you made the wrong choice.
If you choose playing your rogue -- and it sounds like that is your preference already -- I think you have two choices. You can ask the main raid leader if you can be rotated in on your rogue, or you could take Lisa's advice and search for greener pastures.
Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with a little help and insight from the Drama Mamas. Play nice ... and when in doubt, ask the Drama Mamas at robin@wowinsider.com. Read Robin's section of this post on how to get your letter answered and please remember that we cannot answer privately.Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Guilds, Drama Mamas
Reader Comments (Page 2 of 2)
Sunaseni Feb 20th 2012 11:58AM
What the heck, you weren't shafted. Not anywhere close. You and the other rogue had a fair trial, and you lost. If the guild wants the legendary quickly, there can be no rotating out and depriving the other rogue of their legendary quest items.
And what's with this "the people who were my friends" business? How'd the old group stop becoming friends with you? You're still in the guild, it just happens that you couldn't be in the raid group. Do you not talk outside of raids? The reason you feel like an outsider is because you MADE yourself an outsider.
The last question you posed is especially dumb. You ask if you should switch guilds and lose the chance to lead, or stay with a guild that has moved on, but you have already established that you don't want to lead, or you want to play a class that doesn't allow you to lead. Make a decision, either you bite the bullet and try for a guild where you can do what you want, or stay with the guild and accept the changes that have happened.
Listen to The Eagles:
"Get over it
Get over it
If you don't want to play, then you might as well split
Get over it, Get over it "
varzeus Feb 20th 2012 1:48PM
Dear Shafted
Long long time ago, my main was a mage. Not any mage, but a frost mage that dances around with the mobs until the music stopped. However every raid night my Shaman was in need for healing. I would reluctant to go but my felt the team was more important than my individual needs. Later on I would be in the core raid with my shaman and alt raid with my mage--two raids one week. You can imagine the wear and tear it had on me. Later on had to decide one over the other--I went my Shaman. Because at least I can dps and heal if needed. This was back in Kara.
Pour in the love and the awesome energy you felt into your team. Later your "rag team" can be "RAD TEAM". The world is how you see it. See the good in them and your Paladin. I agree with Lisa and Robin. Go!! Forget the past, build a future.
Cheers,
Var
www.GUILDETA.com
Lipstick Feb 20th 2012 1:51PM
If people in group 1 no longer seem as close to you after group 1 broke up, either they've changed and were never true friends, merely raiding comrades or your expectations for them are perhaps a bit out of touch with reality, or you yourself have changed.
What I can say is it feels as if you are leading for all the wrong reasons. You say that you "stepped up" to assume the position, and yet if you're feeling no kinship for your current team, then clearly you haven't truly stepped up, merely accepted an honorary title. I accepted the mantle of GM recently, and I have to say even when my raiders drive me nuts, I still love each of them in their way as they all bring something unique to our raid team.
As for the pally vs rogue thing. There should be no reason you can't lead while being a dps, as there is very little "leading" that needs to be done during raids -- the exception might be calling things out, and this can be done by others, or people could avoid needing you to call anything out if they install/use DBM/GTFO.
If you're now tanking for the group see if anyone else in the group who currently dps's has a tanking character they'd be willing to learn to tank on, so you can trade off for a few fights and DPS on your rogue. Two rogues are not an ideal situation in any raid group but it's far from the worst thing that could ever happen either.
I think honestly that the leader needs to take a break from the game for a week, get his head together .. figure out what he really wants and go from there. Otherwise you'll continue to take your mad mood, and your unhappiness in game out on everyone else.
It sometimes takes a while when a good group breaks up to find that same situation again, but you can find it if you are willing to look hard for it. But in order to find that ideal situation again you have to know and understand what it was about that situation which was so appealing to you.
And currently it seems apparent you are so lost in regret and what use to be that you don't know what you want now. Figure it out. Then plan accordingly.
{Side note: If you don't want to lead your current group and you MT for them, don't be a jerk and just bail on them. Explain the situation to them and actively begin looking for you replacement. Give it a week or two if you are very generous so that they aren't left in the lerch. You can and WILL lose the friendships and respect of anyone in your current group, and whatever you had in your last group if you just bolt. People may be unhappy if you're going, but if they are real friends they will understand when you explain it, why. Just leaving though, or just stop logging on .. will do far more harm then good.}
Ammy Feb 20th 2012 2:27PM
You can continue playing your rogue AND lead raids if you make your own guild.
Tchai Feb 20th 2012 8:05PM
If this test between you and the other rogue was only once, or even over one week, and the margin is sufficiently slim, then no, it wasn't a fair test, or rather it was an irrelevant one. There's are a few reasons why people are told not to take their dps on dummies as a good indicator of dps - one of which is that there isn't nearly enough testing time in it to get a good sample (i'm not talking about the fact that they often aren't relevant to actual raid dps, though that is another concern). Your dps over one night isn't a good basis upon which to determine whether you get into the team or not, at best it tells you around the area you'll likely perform (and even then it doesn't factor in learning and optimising your dps for the fights).
However, the other issue is of couse the legendary - alternating in week in and week out with that other rogue would mean the legendary would take ages to complete. Though ultimately this concern shouldn't be the greatest.
stfulolzwtf Feb 21st 2012 12:13AM
I have to say mr shafted.I think ill agree with Lisa on this one
Being as how you and the rogue competitive for the spot. I get you'll feel shafted that over the time you put into the team they replaced you for a different rogue,Someone who they thought suited the plate better. As I also feel that the battle for it was fair.
However I agree with many comments of raiding while playing dps. My guild leader was a warlock and could raid leader perfectly and my boyfriend a rogue could raid lead when our guild leader wasnt there and did perfectly on it.(i can also say we got a DK currently raiding ourguilds raids and doing a hell of a job :D
Just because you felt tension with your rogue friend while in the second raid team for your competitiveness with her. You should calm it down and try to get used to the thought of being one of two rogues.
I can actually agree with you on the competitiveness.
Our raid team had added a druid to it that had the same OS as me.
As our first time having her she wouldnt stop complaining she should have green over me.
Sadly to say they replaced my original color with one I didnt want and told me we'll rotate it.
In all honesty i wanted to quit the raid when this happened that they wouldnt stand up for me in this when i told her I had green.. Im still considering leaving as it is.(Even if I had been on it longer then she)
All in all.I say leave for a green forest and hope its full of lush findings.
If you stay try and be more positive about how you do with the raid team. If you still feel the urge to play a rogue.Play it and dont get over competitive over it.Have fun with it and try and make the best out of. If that fails then I dont know what to tell ya.
Best of luck from a tree