Phat Loot Phriday: Helm of Maddening Whispers

Abercrombie couldn't run any further. He stumbled to the ground just as Throgg descended on him.
"Wait, wait," Throgg said, standing up straight and planting the tip of his sword in the ground. "Not sure if killing you or capturing you. Wait a second for my friends to catch up."
"Why have you people been hounding me?" Abercrombie complained. The mage's voice was surprisingly high-pitched and whiny.
"You sent a series of undead to kill a bunch of people," Throgg replied. "Ah, here they are now."
Abercrombie got to his feet while eyeing the approaching band. "Four against one. This seems like it would go poorly for me in a fair fight."
"So help me," Miranda said quickly, pointing a threatening finger, "if you cackle and say 'That's why it's not a fair fight!' we will just kill you now."
"That does lead to the question of why I'm not dead," Abercrombie said, brushing his robes down around his hips smoothly.
"We want to know what Sylvanas had to do with this," Lolegolas said. "She claimed to have never met you."
"So, what you're saying is that you want me to betray a master of the undead," the human mage said slowly. "Loyalty could be rewarded with eternal life, and disloyalty punished with eternal torture. What exactly do you think you can do to me?"
Lolegolas pursed his lips, and shrugged. "Not much. But a while back, we picked up this Helm of Maddening Whispers. It's not eternal torture, but it sure will feel like it before too long."
"It sings something called Friday for hours," Throgg agreed. "Bad news, bear."
Abercrombie peered at the two uncertainly. "Look, you're barking up the wrong tree. This is hardly a secret deal, anyway. I just rented a little help from Sylvanas's team. It wasn't like we were bedmates or something."
"Someone on a Team Undead is selling val'kyr help?" the Gilnean suddenly popped up. "Why?"
Abercrombie licked his lips. "Look, man. I recognize what country you're from. And as a general rule, you don't go wobbling about to worgen about Forsaken plans. You get all wolfy and bitey pretty quick."
The druid sighed. "I promise not to get bitey. Now, spill it. Who's selling val'kyr?"
Item description: This is old gear, so we're doing this short-form. The Helm of Maddening Whispers drops from Cho'gall in the Bastion of Twilight.
Filed under: Phat Loot Phriday






Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Angus Mar 2nd 2012 1:14PM
Maddening whispers indeed...
shatnerstorm2 Mar 2nd 2012 1:20PM
"It sings something called Friday for hours," Throgg agreed. "Bad news, bear."
I'll take eternal torture instead, thank you very much.
Gordal Mar 3rd 2012 2:28PM
I thought it was pretty much the same thing.
fallemwarrior Mar 2nd 2012 1:35PM
Day 17 - Our fight goes well, we have made it past all the bosses except cho'gal, the raid leader promised me the first roll on loot for not dying in fire, those months of dodging purfume in orgrimar paied off.
Day 22 - The wipes have been hard, moral is low, 2%... just two more percent...
Day 24 - SUCCESS! Cho'gall is no more, only me the tank and the healer left, we all ressed and eagerly awaited the loot to be doled out. Nothing stands out... except a helmet, i feel... it calling to me, it wants me to wear it, as if to prove it i rolled a 99.
Day 25 - Somthing's wrong... i can hear somthing in the back of my head, i dont know what it is... a time? a date? no its a day... friday? i dont know what it means.
Day 27 - It wont come off... Its been 3 days and the helmet wont come off... i can hear it louder now.
Day 28 - My dps has dropped over 3000, my raid leader is asking whats wrong, i cant hear him, Friday....
Day 29 - They tried to take my precious.... oh god.. i killed them all
dave... of dave why...
Day 32 - The madness has consumed me... i am the helmet
Day 39 - Another raid group tried to raid the bastion to day... i tried to spread my wisdom, but they wouldnt listen...
Day 109 - Friday.... its Friday today.. its especialy loud... i feel it eating my soul, but i dont care, aslong as its mine.
Day 392 - Fri... Friday.. Day...
Day 402 - I.. Saw.... Mechachopper.. St.. Stole from Dwarf.... Which seat do i take?
Kelly Mar 2nd 2012 1:31PM
Awesome....... just awesome
michael.gray Mar 2nd 2012 1:37PM
So very very good
ravyncat Mar 2nd 2012 1:58PM
XD!!!
You just made me cackle loud enough at work that my boss asked me what was up.
Well done indeed.
robsmith77 Mar 2nd 2012 2:18PM
I remember looting this once and feeling disappointed that it didn't have an on-use effect similar to the Puzzle Box of Yogg-Saron.
Derpules Mar 2nd 2012 4:07PM
ITS FRIDAY FRIDAY READIN DAT PHAT LOOT FRIDAY
Firus Mar 2nd 2012 5:15PM
Not to be that guy, but hasn't this item already been featured in the Phat Loot Phriday column?
Jessica Mar 2nd 2012 9:26PM
Gray was "that guy" before you, so no worries. Link to the previous PLP is in the context of the story...
Sorro Mar 2nd 2012 5:21PM
Please put the item link before the cut.
Antonius.Prime Mar 2nd 2012 5:32PM
Why?
Does reading about 2 minutes worth of fun and funny fluff make you late for something each and every time?
If all you want ate item stats and where they drop, instead of a fun bit of story, might I suggest www.wowhead.com ?
Sorro Mar 5th 2012 1:41PM
Why are people so opposed to convenience?
goldeneye Mar 12th 2012 4:40PM
You shall suffer, insolent dog !! :p
Evelinda Mar 5th 2012 7:38AM
So, i don't want to be this guy, because i know that most people enjoy the story. But i drop by this column to find out about interesting loot. Sure, i could click the wowhead link there, but isn't the point of this to tell me about the loot?
I'm not asking you to stop telling the story. I freely admit I don't read it, but a hell of a lot of other people do, and more power to them. Keep them entertained. But i don't see why you need to start skipping the information on the phat loot to do it.