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3-12-2012 @ 3:13PM
@RobbyWow. It sounds like her family is incredibly trusting. Probably to a fault, but I commend them for their values. It is awesome that you were all able to sit down and discuss it. From what you said in this update, it really looks like your GF was just raised different. The only thing I can say about the older dude is that he probably picks up on her innocent nature and her seeing friends. It puts you in a tough spot. Hopefully things continue to work out for you guys. It should be a testament to you both that you are willing to work at the relationship and your communication is staying open :)
3-12-2012 @ 3:38PM
There is a fine line between "trusting" and "naivete." And by fine line I mean a gap the width of the grand canyon, and the family is standing on the wrong side of that line. The fact that the letter writer ended his friendship with the older guy should tell you all you need to know.Glad to see the letter writer has a good head on his shoulders. I fear the worst for his relationship though.
3-12-2012 @ 3:58PM
I am not sure if he did the right thing. Not being in the situation it is easy to say this but he should just leave. If he truly means as much to her and her family then she'll come after him.I don't understand how parents can just have a stranger come over and stay in their house with two daughters. Pyro is right, they sound naive in the extreme.And I feel sorry for the guy writing in - it sounds like he's on the road to build a life with a dingbat. He'd be better off with a more sensible girl who has a moral compass and values more inline with his. They may be together and happy now, but when they have kids and want to set boundaries for them and she (and her family) take a stance similar to what is happening here, the anguish he'll feel will be far worse than he is feeling right now.
3-12-2012 @ 5:09PM
ahsan, while I appreciate your support, remember that at 19 years old, most people are not really sensible, so calling her a dingbat might not be the best choice of words. Immature, emotionally greedy, naive about boy-girl relations? Definitely. But I think those adjectives describe the majority of 19 year-old human beings in this world. On the other hand, that's also what makes them not really suitable for long-term relationships.The letter writer seems like a reasonable person, so I'm sure he'll be okay whether he sticks it out with his gf, or if it crashes and burns. I would hope he wouldn't have to go through that kind of pain (good lawd it is not something I'd wish on anyone), but I think he's gonna be fine even if it comes to that.
3-12-2012 @ 6:37PM
I agree that calling her a dingbat was uncalled for. Getting over your first love can be brutal but the process of going through it teaches you a lot about yourself and what is important to you. It took me a couple of major relationships (one of which was 4 years long) before I truly understood what I wanted out of a relationship.With one's first relationship, one have no reference point... nothing to tell you what your "normal" state is since you're doing all you can to make it work. Some people even forget who they are as individuals. They put up with things they normally wouldn't because they're so desperate to make it work and somehow come together. The problem is that builds resentment at a deep level.Each time a relationship fails, most people reflect on it and then eventually decide on a few red flags for future prospects. Repeated a couple times, your gut gets good at letting you weed out partners that you really wouldn't be compatible in the long run. It also teaches you how to behave in relationships so when the right one comes along, you'll be the right one for her too. For those of us not blessed enough to find the perfect one on our first attempt, this is how we better our odds of finding happiness.I guess what I am driving at is that yes, while your first heartbreak will be painful, it will set you up to be much happier in the long run and there is a silver lining.
3-13-2012 @ 1:40AM
Being poly and not a big fan of jealousy I'd be inclined to agree with Nagaina. HOWEVER..."He and another friend I made in WoW pretty much stopped talking to me and focused on her solely. The two of them began contacting her outside of game via phone and text and it put a huge strain on our relationship."This creates a lot of questions.- How truthful is Robby? Can we get his partner's perspective? Was she just naive to these guys intentions?- Why did his WoW buddies suddenly shift their focus to the girlfriend? Is Robby such a tool that his friends decided they were tired of him? Or do they just want to lure away a young gamer girl? Is it possible that they never really considered him a friend?- What's up with the parents? Unless they are pretty dense or uninformed it seems as though they either don't like Robby (or don't respect him) or don't want their daughter in a serious relationship (with him at least).Whatever the case the above quotes are pretty telling, without hearing all sides of this we can't know what it's telling us however. What I do know is most people aren't prepared for long term monogamous relationships before they hit 25. Hell neurologically speaking we aren't fully developed until our mid 20s, and that's not even speaking for emotional maturity.
3-13-2012 @ 1:42AM
/sighI don't know if this ^ misplaced reply was me or the comment system so I'm going to do the only human thing and blame the comment system.
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