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3-20-2012 @ 5:39PM
I'll be frank here, OW: he's leading you on. Simple as that. You shouldn't have to put with this BS. No matter what he says, until he's officially broken up with his fiancee for good, all his words mean nothing - whether he realizes or not, he's just using you to fill a void in his life. To him, you're just a tool he's using to fix a problem, nothing more.This isn't just me giving armchair advice, either. Being a gay guy, I've known many people in my community who have gotten tangled up in secret relationships with married folks, justifying it by saying, "I'm the one he really loves, his relationship with his wife/fiancee/gf is dead". News flash, guys: if his relationship with his SO were dead, HE WOULD HAVE BROKEN UP WITH HER. Guys like this simply want to have their cake and eat it too, because they're too cowardly to do what's right for them AND respect the dignity of others. Because doing BOTH of those things in the context of a relationship requires making hard decisions and sacrifices - both things that relationships require, and that guys like this are not willing to make. (Disclaimer: I'm not saying that it's just men that make these decisions. It's about maturity, not gender.)TLDR: Regardless of your emotions, which are understandably in turmoil about this situation (believe me, I've been there), I can objectively say that what this guy is telling you is bullshit, whether he's conscious of it or not. Move on, because you deserve better, and I have no doubt you can find something better if you try. =)
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