Skip to Content
3-20-2012 @ 6:54PM
I'll just add another view since people are very vocal about their opinion regarding relationships that start as cheating. Every human being is capable of 'cheating'. It's hard-coded in our behaviour as mammals; that's how the survival of the species has found its way. When two individuals found themselves 'fit' (and that's a purely subconscious analysis) a sexual desire rises. Male humans are more prone to 'cheat' because of the reproduction process we have developed, where a male can engage in reproduction in way shorter spans of time with several females; and we see this pattern in how other mammals compose their packs (some human societies emulate this, even these days) . Also, females are able to draw comparisons and find a more 'fitting' partner to spawn a new generation. There's no rational decisions ( or any decisions whatsoever ) at this point, nothing you could 'blame' on anyone.Enters conscious behaviour ( and morality ). Now we see the human individual not as an animal but as a sentient being. These sentient beings do have the instinctive impulses we just discussed, but they should be able to decide upon the actions to take from them. And this is the key of the point (slowly) being made. Some of these individuals ACTIVELY seek to find themselves in these situations. The feeling of arousal is indeed a result of unconscious processes, but the situation by which the individual feel aroused was 'set' on purpose for the feelings to arise. THIS is the key of the 'cheating' behaviour one should try to find patterns with. Not because a person cheated and started a relationship from that cheating one could conclude that said person is prone to cheat on the second relationship. If the first time the cheating was 'induced' by the individual THEN you can PRESUME (note presume. Not know, or be certain) he MIGHT enjoy the 'thrill of the hunt'. But if the 'cheating' came from a healthy relationship, or a sense of awe from a process of interaction, then NO INFERENCE should be made. Now, how to detect if someone is consciously putting themselves in these situations? Dunno. My hobby is to study and read about human behaviour, epistemology and TOK. Not about love relationships and heartbreaking stories :PBest of luck!
3-20-2012 @ 8:13PM
I'm mostly in agreement with you about the biology part, but here's the caveat: the worst part of cheating usually isn't the sex or physical attraction: it's the deception. I've heard a lot of people say that the lies behind the cheating felt much more hurtful than the actual cheating. Now, if you have an open arrangement or polyamorous relationship, that's another matter altogether, and I personally see nothing wrong with that at all. As usual, the problem is lack of communication and people entering into committments that they can't or don't want to keep.And of course I could write pages upon pages about our society's freakishly unhealthy and bipolar attitude towards sex...but that's another topic entirely, and I don't want to create a wall of text. =)
First time? A confirmation email will be sent to you after submitting.
Members enter your username and password.
Enter your AOL or AIM screenname and password.
Please keep your comments relevant to this blog entry. Email addresses are never displayed, but they are required to confirm your comments.
When you enter your name and email address, you'll be sent a link to confirm your comment, and a password. To leave another comment, just use that password.
To create a live link, simply type the URL (including http://) or email address and we will make it a live link for you. You can put up to 3 URLs in your comments. Line breaks and paragraphs are automatically converted — no need to use <p> or <br /> tags.