Wherefore art thou, Steamy Romance Novel?
by Anne Stickney 
Mar 28th 2012 at 5:00PM
There's nothing quite like curling up with a good book, except perhaps curling up with a good book in game. WoW's got plenty of books to offer and even has achievements surrounding the various books in the world. There's Well Read and the far more difficult Higher Learning, which relies on luck and being in the right place at the right time in Dalaran. You can find all kinds of books lying around Azeroth, waiting to be clicked and read -- everything from historical texts to The Fluffy Bunny, a gripping tale of a bunny named Fluffy and his friend Wuffy.
There are plenty of players who don't bother reading the books you find around the world, and those players are totally missing out. Sure, there's a lot of what could be called dry lore material, but there are also books filled with jokes, fake news, and romance. Yes, romance -- the steamy kind. The authors of Azeroth don't limit themselves to boring historical recounts; a select few write the kind of bodice-ripping romance novels that usually feature Fabio on the cover and enough flowery language to seem at least somewhat respectable.
There are plenty of players who don't bother reading the books you find around the world, and those players are totally missing out. Sure, there's a lot of what could be called dry lore material, but there are also books filled with jokes, fake news, and romance. Yes, romance -- the steamy kind. The authors of Azeroth don't limit themselves to boring historical recounts; a select few write the kind of bodice-ripping romance novels that usually feature Fabio on the cover and enough flowery language to seem at least somewhat respectable.
The Steamy Romance Novels may not be epic pieces of armor or weapons, but these gray novelty items have turned into beloved possessions for many a player. A new book has been added with every expansion, which leads to a terribly important question -- where's the Steamy Romance Novel for Mists? Redcow wrote another post that tackled the subject of Steamy Romance Novels, this time as a response to a writing challenge put out there by Big Bear Butt. While her contribution is definitely entertaining, it doesn't have a thing to do with Mists, sadly.
It's odd that a gray item could garner so much attention, but the Steamy Romance Novels are a unique and funny addition to WoW. In a war-torn world that's been assaulted by the Lich King, shattered by Deathwing, and torn apart by faction war, it's nice to know that there are still random indicators of casual comforts out there, even if the casual comforts involve sitting in a comfy chair eating bon-bons and imagining Marcus Jonathan's dreamy eyes. Hopefully we'll see another book added to the collection in Mists, although I wonder ... what kind of trouble is Marcus going to get himself into this time?
It's open warfare between Alliance and Horde in Mists of Pandaria, World of Warcraft's next expansion. Jump into five new levels with new talents and class mechanics, try the new monk class, and create a pandaren character to ally with either Horde or Alliance. Look for expansion basics in our Mists FAQ, or dig into our spring press event coverage for more details!Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Lore
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Terrë Mar 28th 2012 5:05PM
I pick-pocketed Arazzius the Cruel the other day and got one of these... guess he was too busy dreaming of being in Marcus's shoes (or bed) to take any notice as I ambushed him and slit his throat.
Xantenise Mar 28th 2012 5:07PM
It's an expansion about pandas.
We already know Marcus isn't afraid to experiment.
Let's leave it at that, shall we?
Pyromelter Mar 28th 2012 6:57PM
Somewhere, a Furry is putting his fingertips together and proclaiming, "Excellent."
Pyromelter Mar 28th 2012 7:18PM
Somewhere, a Furry is putting his fingertips together and proclaiming, "Excellent."
roseclown Mar 28th 2012 5:17PM
Oh. My. God.
/squees like woah
My Snuffit needs these, ASAP! But darnit, I have no rogues. D: ...Do they sell on the AH?
RetPallyJil Mar 28th 2012 5:28PM
You see them sometimes. Most people keep them lol
I got mine from a rogue buddy who knows how much I love stupid gray stuff.
Ilmyrn Mar 28th 2012 5:29PM
At least on my small RP server, they sell for extraordinarily high prices.
Spelio Mar 28th 2012 5:43PM
Yes they sell on the AH and the price (on my server at least) is cheap. We are talking 10 G or less...
roseclown Mar 28th 2012 10:16PM
Hah! Found the first one up for auction on my server for only 9g. Thanks for the tips y'all. Now to beg some rogue guildies to see if they can get the rest... Good news is, I'm in a goblin guild so it should be easy-peasy.
My Goblin Priestess with a romantic streak is ecstatic.
RetPallyJil Mar 28th 2012 5:26PM
I have the whole set. I guess even pally girls (especially pally girls, maybe) need to read a bodice-ripper now and then!
Terrë Mar 28th 2012 5:30PM
I would have thought so, seeing as they're grey and not SB. I pick-pocket alot of them on my RP-PVP server. maybe I should try auctioning a couple when I pick them up and see what happens. I normally just vendor them along with all my other trash.
Duerma Mar 28th 2012 5:43PM
Oh my gosh. You will save up for your Vial of the Sands if you do this. I can never find them for anything but stupid expensive on my RP server.
libfeathers Mar 28th 2012 5:55PM
*cough cough*
"A Steamy Romance Novel" is right here:
http://libfeathers.wordpress.com/2011/11/10/95/
Even won Grand Prize in Wyrmrest Accord's "Heart of the Authors" contest.
LynMars Mar 28th 2012 6:05PM
These have always been a hilarious item to find in game, by any means. RPers tend to swap them often, usually as a joke.
Also, a friend of mine plays a paladin who writes her own steamy romances. She sometimes uses her raid team as characters in her fictional stories, as the player writes about publishing woes for a young romance novelist.
Shiro Mar 28th 2012 6:11PM
Ahem, my warrior (male orc) has a collection of Goblin Gentleman's Magazines. They are far superior (plus they have pictures). That is all.
RetPallyJil Mar 28th 2012 7:24PM
Pardon me, but you assume all players are men :)
Mummrah Mar 28th 2012 10:45PM
How the hell do you divine that from what s/he said?!?!
S/He said, "my warrior (MALE ORC) has a collection of Goblin Gentleman's Magazines. They are far superior (plus they have pictures)"
S/He was referring to his/her character having the magazines. You cannot determine the gender of the poster from what was posted.
I'll make you a deal, I'll remove the stick up mine if you do the same.
BiPolarBoomkin Mar 28th 2012 8:09PM
*purple feathers slowly turn into an embarrassed shade of pink at the sight of the books mentioned*
... Oh...
oh my...
Scandalous!
Lachdanan Mar 28th 2012 8:47PM
Maybe this time Marcus will get involved with a nice mantid girl...
Berna Mar 29th 2012 2:57AM
I didn't know there were *different* steamy romance novels!