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Odin the All-Father's Diablo 3 account hacked

Odin the Allfather's Diablo 3 account hacked
Someone has had the audacity to hack Odin's account, and He is demanding that Blizzard restore His items immediately. In a post on the Diablo III general discussion forums, Odin insists that not only should His items and gold be returned immediately but also that a human sacrifice be performed. He blames Blizzard for giving his data away, since his system is completely secure, and therefore it must follow the rules, else be cursed.

Here's an excerpt of the All-Father's complaint:

So I'm Odin, the All-Father; I am Iron Grim, the One-Eyed. I'm the Longbeard, Lord of Ghosts, Wise One... you get the idea. My gaming rig is engraved with protective runes, and my firewall is a wall manned by Heimdell, who sees and hears any threat to the residents of Asgard. Every day at sunrise, my entire system is massaged with a poultice of angelica, burdock, comfrey, dill, and moss provided by Eir while a healing galdr is chanted over it. My ISP is two ravens that bring me news of all the happenings in the world and is always 100% stable and secure, personally watched over by the birds. Don't ask me how they do it; I'm not spending another day on that damn tree just to find out. It's powered by human sacrifice, although I have no idea how this could be relevant; I've just seen others with the same problem posting it.

Given that personal info has never been leaked by Blizzard before, it seems unlikely the hackers got the All-Father's info from anywhere but Him or one of his subjects on Asgard. He describes a seemingly impenetrable system, however, protected by magic, herbs and faithful creatures. Someone with access to His computer must have responded to a phishing email or was otherwise careless with His login info.

Or ... Odin's account was purposely sabotaged by the god of mischief and evil himself: Loki. The Trickster is certainly capable of obtaining anyone's login information -- even his stepfather's.

My money's on Loki as the culprit.

Blizzard has only responded with the following, which is cryptic at best.

Zarhym
All your false idols are belong to us.

But Lylirra sheds some light on the situation, which may prove my hypothesis, as well as put the blame back on Blizzard.

Lylirra
He's like the Loki of the community team. ;)


The All-Father is not without mercy and can adjust His own laws as need, so if Blizzard restores His account to its former status in a timely manner, perhaps He will forego the need for a human sacrifice. We can only hope.

Odin's full post:

I'm a Norse Deity and my Account Got Hacked

So I'm Odin, the All-Father; I am Iron Grim, the One-Eyed. I'm the Longbeard, Lord of Ghosts, Wise One... you get the idea. My gaming rig is engraved with protective runes, and my firewall is a wall manned by Heimdell, who sees and hears any threat to the residents of Asgard. Every day at sunrise, my entire system is massaged with a poultice of angelica, burdock, comfrey, dill, and moss provided by Eir while a healing galdr is chanted over it. My ISP is two ravens that bring me news of all the happenings in the world and is always 100% stable and secure, personally watched over by the birds. Don't ask me how they do it; I'm not spending another day on that damn tree just to find out. It's powered by human sacrifice, although I have no idea how this could be relevant; I've just seen others with the same problem posting it.

Considering that my computer literally has godly protections, I was shocked to log in to get my barb on only to dicover my character had been completely STRIPPED of EVERYTHING. The problem isn't me here, Blizzard. I don't even get any spam because Huginn and Muninn just filter it out for me. I haven't used my password anywhere other than official Blizzard sites and the game itself, and my authenticator has been cursed to kill anyone who touches it that isn't me. I'm outraged that you pitiful mortals once again dropped the ball and gave MY information away. Now they know my true name and the address of Asgard, and who knows what sort of mischief they'll get up to with that information? I knew it was a mistake trusting your servers with the information, but I didn't want to break my ToU and give you false information. It's what I get for following the rules.

I demand that you restore my items and gold IMMEDIATELY, Blizzard. I have been a loyal and supportive customer for far too long, and my patience has run out. I also demand you provide me with the IP address of all systems that have accessed my account so that I may call a wild hunt and bring justice to the fools that dared meddle in the affairs of the gods. Finally, and believe me, I am a little regretful about this part, I'm going to need you to offer me a human sacrifice as amends. I'm sorry, but rules are rules and that's what will give you absolution. It doesn't have to be anyone special; even an intern you have laying about will do the job. But my wrath will not be sated until you do, and if you fail to do so you and your ken will be cursed by all the gods and goddesses of Asgard and will not find rest or solace while they still walk the land of Midgard. Like I said, I don't like doing it, but you've tied my hands here, Blizzard. Make it right, and it can all go away.


Filed under: Diablo 3

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