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Drama Mamas: Roommate vs. family

Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm.

Ah, college. Good times. The music was fun, too.

On to the drama.
Hey drama mamas!

So, I'm going to try and keep this short. I have played on the same realm for three years (since I started). My dad and brother have both recently started playing and joined me on this realm. My dad has two 85s, and my brother is still working on his first. I've also developed great relationships with my guild, but its starting to dwindle down.

Here's my problem. I'm starting college next month, and my roommate (who played nor only on a different server, but the opposite faction) wants me to join her. I have no problem with this, but she really wants me to just server transfer as opposed to just starting a new alt.
I understand where she's coming from, it would make it quicker for us to play together (her characters on that realm are maxxed and her guild responsibilities keep her from changing) but at the same time I don't want to leave my family and friends.

Thanks,
College warrior
Drama Mama LisaDrama Mama Lisa: I'm not sure if you'd been hoping to play with your family and your roommate all together, College Warrior, but I'm guessing you probably don't. Especially since your roommate could give your characters on that realm a leg up, I don't think you'd feel stranded or disadvantaged by playing there. It makes sense in this case to split your time and characters between the realms.

The only real question, then, is which realm will get the new character and which gets the established one. There seems to be a pretty compelling reason to want the more fully developed character on your roomie's realm: Your roomie is already guilded and active in the endgame, so you'll need that 85 in order to match strides.

And then back on the home front, your brother is still getting started. Why not restart and push up quickly to join him there? You could even join in with a death knight, if he's already near that range. You'd have a lot more fun playing through with him rather than just waiting for him to catch up. Your dad doesn't appear to be a major factor, since it sounds like he has more time to play in general and so will always have a bit of an edge.

This seems like a pretty clear choice. What am I missing from this picture, Robin? What else, readers?

Drama Mama RobinDrama Mama Robin: I agree with Lisa as far as whether or not to transfer your character, and I would like to add another reason to move your main: Your guild is dwindling. You've got leveling family on one server with a nice but emptying guild, but you have a strong guild and some max-level fun on your roommate's server. Lisa's solution is a good one.

As a side note, I do disagree with rolling a death knight ... unless you are into the class. If you don't like playing a DK, you won't have fun with your brother and will avoid playing with him. You'll feel bad for neglecting him. He'll feel neglected. Ugh.

But I don't think whether or not to transfer your character is the real question. Time is going to be the major factor here. I think transferring your 85 is a no-brainer -- if you have the time -- but can you fit playing on both realms into your schedule? I'm sure you want to get good grades and learn a thing or two at college. Plus there will be the socializing with your fellow students. I think it's going to be very difficult to manage your time effectively while playing with both family and friend.

Unfortunately, I think you're going to have to choose where to spend the bulk of your WoW time. If you don't transfer your 85 to your roommate's server, you've made a decision: You'll be playing with your family. She's made it clear that she doesn't want to wait for you to level.

Are you really playing with your dad and brother now? Or are you just hanging out with them with the occasional grouping here and there? They're family, so Real ID is safe with them. You can still be social with the guys while on the other server. Are they going to be OK with that? You say you don't want to leave them, but will your schedules even match up?

It's not choosing who is more important in your life. You love your family and you have fun with them. Yay! But what part of the game do you like best? Do you prefer an active guild with max-level goodness? Or do you like the more laid-back atmosphere of leveling and socializing? Decide how you most want to play and make your decision accordingly.

Hopefully your family will understand if you don't choose them. They should. Your dad in particular will want you to do well in school, especially if he's paying for any portion of it. If you explain your time constraints, he should support your decision. Of course, "should" does not necessarily equal "will." For your sake, I hope it does.

Your decision is going to be a hard one, but I'm leaning toward the roommate. Your schedules will be more in synch, and the bonding experience will be good for living together. If I'm wrong and time isn't an issue, then please follow Lisa's advice and transfer your main. Good luck!
Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with a little help and insight from the Drama Mamas. Play nice ... and when in doubt, ask the Drama Mamas at robin@wowinsider.com. Read Robin's section of this post on how to get your letter answered and please remember that we cannot answer privately.

Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Drama Mamas

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