When we last left our heroes, the plot was finally moving forward again, thanks to your narrator's sudden obsession with pet battles. I mean, seriously, have you tried them out yet? OMG, awesome.

Lolegolas and Throgg rode from the gym in a cloud of dust and machismo. Like a pair of gods carved from solid stone, their rippling muscles and perfect definition would be the envy of any underwear model. Would be. The effect was ruined by a dainty red balloon drifting behind Throgg.

"I'm not clear on how the balloon is going to defeat our enemy," Lolegolas said.

"Won't. Balloon can't fight," Throgg growled. "Tired of pets. I want to hit him with my axe."

"That's a shame when you think about it. Orgrimmar's Fighting Balloons would be a hell of a team. It would certainly be better than Osh-Kosh Garrosh."

Throgg spared the blood elf a dry look. "Balloon doesn't fight. This is just for show. I'm going to hit the bad guy with my axe and rescue Miranda."

"Imagine if the balloon could cast spells," Lolegolas said. "Heal-ium, for example."

"Do you mind?" Throgg asked. "Trying to look imposing here."

Item note: Horde Balloon doesn't fight. Which, c'mon, Blizzard -- that'd be awesome! Fighting balloons. And since the Horde and Alliance can each get their balloons in a simple quest, that would be amazing. Am I the only one who thinks fighting balloons are awesome?

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Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.

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Tags: fat-lewt, fat-loot, featured, horde-balloon, world-of-warcraft-items, world-of-warcraft-loot, wow-item, wow-items, wow-loot

Filed under: Phat Loot Phriday