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Breakfast Topic: What do you imagine the urgent maintenance was for?

Breakfast Topic What do you imagine the urgent maintenance was for
Recently, Blizzard took down all of the realms on a Friday for urgent maintenance. This prompted many readers to fantasize about what the downtime was all about.

jayharima suggested,
They forgot to move Nax to Jade Forest, u gotta keep that thing running or the fuel goes bad.
shrikesnest said,
I heard they're getting rid of PVP servers in anticipation of the Alliance/Horde peace treaty at the end of the expansion.
hstein31 declared
It's the hamsters. Server maintenance is always a problem with the hamsters.
My imagination took me elsewhere ...

Blizzard hires goblin engineers to run the servers. The Thursday night before the downtime, the goblins threatened to strike the next morning if their demands were not met:
  • A television setup in all work areas that runs Mythbusters episodes around the clock.
  • A laboratory for goblins only where they can test new explosives.
  • Tropical drinks served by the gnome janitors
Blizzard was willing to do the first two, but the last item just wasn't possible. See, the servers used to be run by gnome engineers. But when they got bored, they would setup the restroom doors so that anyone who passed into them would shrink to gnomish stature. This way everyone could see just how inconvenient the facilities were for gnome-sized users. The doorway would return people to their normal size while exiting, of course. At this time, the goblins were the janitorial staff.

So Blizzard had the gnomes and goblins switch jobs. (Of course you can't have gnomes and goblins working together.) The gnomes were made to take down all of their doorway shrinkers and told to clean up Blizzard HQ or they would be replaced by clockwork employees. The gnomes acquiesced.

Instead of giving into the goblin's demands, Blizzard decided to plan a reswap of occupations for the time of the strike. When the servers went down, the goblins were forced to return to their janitorial duties, with the same threat of losing their jobs to clockworks. And now gnomes are back to running the servers, with renewed enthusiasm.

Meanwhile, dwarven engineers -- who used to run the servers in vanilla -- have designed several beer delivery systems and are setup in an on-campus bar to test them. And there is much rejoicing.

What do you imagine the reason for the urgent maintenance was for? We don't want to hear any real hypotheses (boring). Give us the silly stuff!

Filed under: Breakfast Topics

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