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Elizabeth Wachowski

Raleigh, North Carolina - http://

Elizabeth Wachowski is a 26-year-old freelance writer from Eau Claire, Wisconsin. She graduated from the University of Wisconsin in 2005 with degrees in journalism and political science. She worked at the Wisconsin State Journal as a reporter from 2004 to 2006 before moving to Raleigh, North Carolina and becoming an EMT.

Around Azeroth: Your creepy uncle

The standards for child adoption in Azeroth are still disturbingly low, I see. Submitter Randomlock of Randomnoobs and Friends on Tichondrius (US-H) somehow managed to obtain guardianship of this Argent Gruntling, which he thoughtfully named I Farm Gold. Rather than put I Farm Gold in any sort of school or apprenticeship, Randomlock has decided that the best education is for the child to sit in front of the auction house while he shows off his own unique transmog set, consisting of a horned helmet, a legendary cape, and a loincloth. Appropriate!

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Filed under: Around Azeroth

Around Azeroth: Meat the Warchief

Submitter Vera of Condemned on Shadowsong (US-H) just can't wait until Warlords of Draenor to try to take down Garrosh Hellscream for good. So when her guild downed the Warchief during a flex raid to welcome back an old guildmate, she took the opportunity to use her Gin-Ji Knife Set on the unconscious Garrosh. Turns out that he makes a better meatloaf than a leader. Also, next expansion solved, guys! We can all go home now.



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Filed under: Around Azeroth

Around Azeroth: The gathering of the element-wielders

"My orc shaman attended last week's celebration of Kosh'harg, hosted by the Thundering Hammer Clan on Feathermoon (US-H)," writes submitter Tollazat. "A great time was had by all, especially at the end when Thorgrun led the shaman of the Horde into Oshu'gun, the sacred mountain. We discussed many big shamany secrets which I am not at liberty to reveal. But you can rest easy. We are dedicated to protecting and guiding the Horde through all its trials, tribulations, mismatched armor, egomaniacal warchiefs, and overprotective wives with bad accents."

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Filed under: Around Azeroth

Around Azeroth: I'm a fool to do your dirty work

After submitter Polona of Magister Mortalis on Darrowshire (US-A) lost out on Deathcharger's Reins due to the antics of some untrustworthy puggers, she vowed that she would have her revenge. And who better to deliver that revenge than Illidan Stormrage, master grudge-holder? A little bit of conversation and a promise of quite a bit of gold was all it took for the Betrayer to agree to take down her groupmates. Then again, he is the Betrayer, so Polona might want to watch her back.



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Filed under: Around Azeroth

Around Azeroth: Call the exterminator

"This is one way to break in a boosted level 90 tank in Timeless gear," writes submitter Gimmlette. "Spectacular Death on Llane (US-A) recently held a 'meta night' where we ran a variety of Mists of Pandaria five-mans to work on the achievements toward Glory of the Pandaria Hero. One of this group's random dungeons was Stormstout Brewery. After a quick How Did He Get Up There, we went on to Hopocalypse Now.

Our tank, Holygoat, had been boosted earlier in the day and he wasn't too confident of his mob-holding abilities. 'Trust us,' we said. 'We know what we're doing. You just stand there and intercept the virmen 'til we tell you to let go.' He audibly gulped in voice chat. Duellona feigned death to make sure no virmen came by her. Do we have enough for the achievement? The healer, Corien, was counting but decided next to Goat wasn't a great place to stand and beat a hasty retreat. That's a lot of virmen. For the record, we got the achievement and Holygoat lived through the experience. However, he doesn't really like Stormstout after this."

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Filed under: Around Azeroth

Around Azeroth: Junior varsity

For a bunch of clumsy, alcoholic bears, the pandaren at the Tian Monastery in the Jade Forest are surprisingly graceful. Wodehermit, Nounours, Braelei and Wirrieation of Llane (US-A) tried to practice their moves with Instructor Xann and his pupils in the Monastery Training Arena, but ended up hopelessly out of sync with the rest of their classmates. It's all right, guys. Someone has to be picked last for the cheerleading squad.

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Filed under: Around Azeroth

Around Azeroth: Please allow me to introduce myself

"Highlord Fordring thought it would be an awesome idea to greet prospective Crusader recruits before they kneeled and swore him allegiance until death (or resurrection)," writes today's submitter. "Sadly, recruitment to the Argent Crusade has dropped to 1% in the second quarter with their new greeter, Vassannah of the Eternal Exiles on Saurfang (EU-A). Someone is about to get fired." Wait, there are people out there who don't want to pledge eternal loyalty to a female draenei in a bikini? I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

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Filed under: Around Azeroth

Around Azeroth: The ring thing

Is the Kremlin monitoring this column? Let's find out! Submitter Xotl of Bladefist (EU-A) recently discovered that he could use his Wild Mushroom spell to mock the ring malfunction at the opening ceremony of last month's Sochi Olympics. Sure, Russia itself referenced their gaffe in the closing ceremony, but if Xotl dies suddenly in the next month, I suggest you test him for polonium-210 poisoning. Now to sit back and wait for the legion of suspicious Putin defenders to show up ...



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Filed under: Around Azeroth

Around Azeroth: Improper gun safety

Submitter Ravacaryn of LK Mafia on Zul'jin (US-A) is normally pretty safety-conscious, at least by hunter standards (meaning that she usually doesn't pick her teeth with a notched arrow.) But when she finally got her legendary cloak, she let caution fall by the wayside for just a moment. What could be the harm in shooting her gun off a little bit in celebration? A gun that has Lord Blastington's Scope of Doom attached to it? Scope of Doom is probably just a pretty name cooked up by a marketing department, and does not at all portend a horrible fiery explosive death for anyone foolish enough to fire it at their own feet.

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Filed under: Around Azeroth

Around Azeroth: From nowhere to infinity

Imagine that you're a game designer who wants to put in a little visual reward for your loyal players. So you create a gorgeous series of glass floors in an instance, secure in the knowledge that even though most players will just breeze through your content, there will always be a few who take the time to appreciate the effort. And then some utter bastard decides that your never-ending glass floors are a wonderful place to practice jumping up and down on their mammoth mount. Suddenly you find yourself wondering if the Minecraft guys are hiring, since your work will just end up being destroyed by malicious gamers anyway. (Thanks to submitter Radaíocht of Hostile Insurrection on Zul'jin (US-H) for the screenshot.)

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Filed under: Around Azeroth

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