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I leveled my main as a retribution paladin until about level 65, when I picked up two new toys running randoms -- a shield with high defense and block stats, and a one-handed sword with good stats that glowed purple and matched the shield. Yes, I became a tank because I wanted to accessorize. I'm a girl; that's how I roll.

I dual-specced protection, invested in tank gear and said to myself, "How hard is it?" I already had leveled my death knight through every heroic instance repeatedly, so I was confident that I knew the layout and the fights. My husband and I queued for a random with me as a tank and wound up in Hellfire Ramparts. And then it all went bad. I kept getting confused about who to pull first and which direction to go, and the group promptly lost confidence in me. They started playing the "kill them all quick" game, in which they used their hardest-hitting AoE spells to take the mobs out quickly and try to survive through it. Never mind that this tactic usually makes holding hate really difficult! We wiped, the healer left, the warlock and the hunter told me I was the worst tank ever, and I literally cried.

I've ran quite a few instances since then, some successful, some not. Now that I am a new level 80, I am on that perpetual quest to get lots of badges and upgrade my gear -- but I'm still suffering from tanking anxiety.

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This Breakfast Topic has been brought to you by Seed, the Aol guest writer program that brings your words to WoW.com.

As a competitive person, I do not want to be mediocre at anything I do. I want to be so good at my job that I earn a bonus at annual review time. I want to be early instead of late. I want to be the great mom who comes to all the parent-teacher conferences and always turns in signed permission slips before they're due. Heck, I even want to be in the front of the pack in traffic on the interstate.

I have worked hard to achieve all of this perfection -- and failed miserably. One thing that I've learned through my adult life is that any time you think you're the best at something, 10 other people will come along who show you up. I do the best I can, and I have to will myself to be satisfied with that. If I tried to be the overachiever, then I'd probably stress myself into a heart attack.

It's the same way with World of Warcraft. I want to have maxed-out professions with all the rare recipes. I want to have the highest GearScore, top the DPS chart and hold hate perfectly with no runaways if I'm tanking. I want to get all the achievements, have the coolest vanity pets and ride in on that rare mount no one else has. Yeah, that's what I wish for. But, I am never, ever going to get there.

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Filed under: Breakfast Topics, Guest Posts