Filed under: Drama Mamas

Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm.

It's always fun when Lisa and I disagree.

Hello Drama Mamas,

I need some help and some advice. Recently I've been sharing my livestream of my guild's raids on my Facebook since a lot of my friends play or used to play WoW. This caught the attention of two former guildies from my old server, and they came back to WoW, transferred to my server, and joined my guild.

After a while, the husband started giving me all sorts of flack - about being benched, about my guildies' behavior, about me never farming rares/coins on the Timeless Isle with him - and demanding that I be in Vent/Mumble all the time. He got sick of being benched and went to a guild I'm leveling with some friends and started giving me flack for the other guild's lack of a raid team and demanding to know why I haven't moved my lvl90 alts out of my raiding guild and into the other one.

BlizzCon 2013 is the year's richest opportunity to hobnob with fellow WoW enthusiasts. Thanks to Blizzard's polished event management, you can expect an entertaining weekend whether you're a party animal, a die-hard e-sports fan, a cosplay enthusiast, or simply squeeing at the opportunity to rub up against all things Blizzard.

Make no mistake: With something in the neighborhood of 30,000 fans expected to attend, BlizzCon is most assuredly a social event. You'll be interacting with a great many people in close quarters, some of whom will be eager to meet you and some who won't. (The Drama Mamas will be there, too -- say hello at the WoW Insider/Wowhead Meetup on Thursday night, or come rest your tired dogs and review the weekend's fun with Drama Mama Lisa and others from the WoW Insider staff at the Meeting Stone at 4 p.m. Saturday afternoon.)

Connecting with guildmates face to face for the first time? Meeting Blizzard staffers and well-known members of the WoW community? Making new WoW friends? Just enjoying the show? Bring it on -- but let's avoid bringing the drama by clarifying how not to act like That Guy in what's sure to be a spectacular nexus of WoW geeks and Azerothian energy.

Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm.

If you're not having fun, leave. But sometimes it's just not that simple.

Hello Drama Mamas,

I'm writing in today with a raiding guild conundrum: to stay, or to bow out? Here's the story. I recently transferred to a new realm and joined a raiding guild after a few months' hiatus (big move). I was and still am, undergeared relative to the rest of the raid. I also do not have my legendary cloak yet, but am working on the runestones (8/12 now) as far as RNG will allow each week. The end result is, that even though logs have proven me a competitve player in the past when abreast of the gear curve, I am lacking in that department currently. For the record, I almost never die in fire or to mechanics. It's entirely a dps issue.

Sometimes you think you're just having a bad luck, drama bomb experience -- and sometimes it turns out that you're squarely in the wrong place at the wrong time because you haven't really found the guild you were looking for.

I have been an avid WoW player since 2006 and have been in many guilds since. Some of them were great experiences that I just outgrew and reached out for something different and others were just...well, awful!

My recent issue was a plethora of things. When I joined the guild, someone from a server I had just transferred off of happened to be in it. She didn't know me but I knew her. To keep things short and to the point, this young woman was known as a drama stirrer and someone I wouldn't want my boyfriend near for good reason.

As the months began to go by, I noticed that this person began to compete with me for everything. My guild was an RP-PVP guild and ranks were based on how often you attended events and how competent you were at PVP on your class. I soon climbed the ranks, as did she, until we were both just below a sub officer rank. Getting the next rank was tricky as you had to pass a few criteria. Popularity, ability, and well...how good you could suck up to the officers. She wasn't a suck up type and so she began to try and outdo me via popularity... However, the method in which she did it was via lies and slander, and by convincing people who had been my friends that I was saying things that I clearly was not. Each time I would go to the officers with my issues, I would be told that I either got over the lies or I would be ejected for instigating a problem where there was none.

Needless to say, I am gone now. But did I handle this poorly or was leaving the guild the best option?

Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm.

How do you handle moving on from one intense relationship to another?

Dear Drama Mamas,

[...]

My first love, of nearly six months two nights ago told me, for the second time, that she had just wanted to be friends. And that a long-distance would never work out for her. A few days before the relationship ended for the first time, I could tell it was over. I just didn't want to admit it to myself.

She was the first person that showed me just how special ERP could be. The first girl to ever trust me enough to be "naughty". There were many partners of hers before me, though she had constantly assured me that what she had with tens of others had meant next to nothing to her. She broke off all relations with these guys and girls to show me she was committed to me and only me. She was very clingy, and it didn't bother me one bit. I enjoyed having her around most of the hours of every day we played together.

Stand back, Drama Mamas readers -- Robin and I are going to put ourselves out of business this week. I say "this week" because I'm not going to spoiler-ize the Drama Mamas for all time ... Just for this week. And I'm doing it because I want to remind everyone about a resource we've been working on since the beginning of this year, something designed to shake loose new insights and solutions for frustrated WoW players, old and new alike: The Drama Mamas Drama-Buster Guide.

Allow me to roll up my sleeves and demonstrate:

Due to some very persuasive to give the Warcraft a try again i decided to jump into it. The first things i noticed once i stop the grind to max level is that. My old server...is empty...dead..The City where i do my auction house is all changed around. Also guilds seem to be less about community and more about guild perks. I'm scratching my head at a loss at what to do now that i am 90, with a guild who does not talk to each other. I've not played since Wrath of the Lich king. I've been curious what to do in game, and even if i should roll a new toon on another server with all the time I've been gone. Could you offer your thoughts?

Confused Warcraft Player

Thanks for writing in, Confused Warcraft Player. You're not alone in finding yourself socially adrift in game, despite how many other players constantly surround you. The Drama Mamas solution: There's a guide for that!

As you've discovered, WoW's not as much fun without someone to share it with, so let us show you some proven tactics for finding some gaming buddies to play with. It sounds like your socially limp guild isn't much a help, either; a better guild match would go a long way toward propelling you back into the fun zone.

And where is the friend who talked you into coming back to play? He or she really ought to be sharing this experience with you.

Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm.

Be excellent to each other.

Hello,

I'm in an extra interesting position presently. Let's start with the gameplay perspectives:
I play a Protection Warrior currently, and I'm looking to partake in tanking for my guild. In most cases, this is fine, even with the use of Vent and all that. My significant other is a healer in the same guild, and we're working our way in and being friendly. And it's a great guild, one we both enjoy very much.

But the kicker is that both my partner and I are Transgender, Male to Female, and hoping to start transitioning this year. We RP a couple of female Pandaren with the same guild, and after discussing it with eachother, we've decided we want to do what we can to simply stealth it. It's far easier to just be what we feel we should be online than it is to try and explain it all over again.

So your beloved spouse doesn't play WoW. It happens. Sometimes you can tempt them into trying; an enjoyable duo is great for a relationship, after all. And if your spouse does decide to give the game a whirl, we can show you how to get off on the right foot.

But sometimes, getting your partner to join you in WoW just isn't in the cards. And that's okay. You don't have to quit your hobby simply because your other half doesn't share your enthusiasm. You can play, and your partner can not play, and you can both be as happy together as two bugs in a rug. We'll show you how to keep grouping in Azeroth from ungrouping you in life.

Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm.

I was going to embed this earworm because of this week's signature, but I just couldn't stomach it. I'm not a fan. So I've replaced it with a different earworm. Everybody clap and point now.

Dear Drama Mamas:

I am an officer and tank in a raiding guild with people I've known since mid Cataclysm. I took a break at the start of Mists due to getting a new job, and came back a couple of months ago to find the guild struggling on Horridon in 10N Throne of Thunder. I wasn't planning on returning to the game full-time and spent most of my time leveling and gearing an alt that I was using to fill a spare DPS slot when the guild needed me. I was eventually asked to come back as a full-time tank to help with progression, and since then we've slowly managed to clear normal T15, culminating in downing Lei Shen the first time a couple of weeks ago.

You love this game with a passion. We get that -- so do we. All too often, however, our best friends and significant others don't share that passion. They might not have a scrap of interest in playing any video game at all.

But you want them to experience the World of Warcraft with you. We get that, too. Close relationships benefit from shared experiences and fun. You want your other half to at least bite off a taste of Azeroth and savor this feast that's captured you body and soul.

How can you convince your partner, buddy, or significant other to give WoW a try? Warning: This question represents merely the tip of the iceberg. Brace for impact with the true issue: How can you help a non-playing friend or family member get into WoW in way that's enjoyable for both of you?

Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm.

Note: The above video has a little NSFW language.

When the only criteria for becoming part of your guild is to press the Accept button, your guild is bound to have some issues.

Dear Drama Mamas,

I'm trying to grow our guild but nothing seems to work; I'm wondering if its me or its time to close up shop. Our guild (The Laundromat @ Shu'Halo) started 18 months ago and I tried to follow best practices for a new guild. I set up a website (laundromat.enjin.com), clearly written expectations, rank structure, a well stocked bank, set up 5-6 events a week in some cases, scavenger hunts, made trivia contests, created a welcome machinima, wrote 15 episodes of lore and more. In spite of all this, I can't seem to find people available or interested in participating.

My question is -- what else can/should I do? Sit at the feet of a successful guild to observe, ask for criticism, rebrand and refocus, change servers or close down the guild and take up turnip farming?

Respectfully,
One Glum Goblin

While the shape of raiding has changed drastically since World of Warcraft debuted in 2004, you'll still find that raiders in any raid group -- even other players in a Looking For Raid group -- expect a certain level of preparation, game knowledge, and social savoir faire from everyone participating. Players who trip blithely and cluelessly into the LFR or, worse, a raiding guild have no one but themselves to blame if the experience explodes in a messy, contentious drama bomb.

But isn't there a place for new raiders? Isn't the LFR supposed to be a casual, drop-in experience? Absolutely -– but that doesn't mean you can expect to stroll in with zero preparation or forethought. A game that's been running for this many years develops a higher bar for entry-level expectations. It's OK to head into a raid with no raiding experience, but you may find yourself dropped or mocked if you blunder in completely unprepared. Comport yourself with aplomb with these bottom-line expectations for anyone who wants to raid in World of Warcraft.

Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm.

Sing it, Black Dog.

Hey hey mamas got questions for you, gonna ask your advice 'bout my guild's mood.

I'm co-leader with my stable GF of a small casual guild. We've got a small community of members, with most able to log in a couple times a week and a few who play daily. We have firm guild rules about verbal abuse and slurs, and quite honestly have never had drama of any sort. All of this sounds peachy-keen, except we seem to have, for lack of a better word, stagnated.

Over the last fall, winter, and spring, our biggest challenges were getting members at all. We recruited a real-life friend who went through some real growth as a person and was made an officer a few months later. He helped us spur the guild's growth and now we've promoted another officer to handle our surging population, and we were making noises about a second raid group...at least, that was the situation a couple months ago.

Ever get the feeling your in-game relationships are just a little too close for comfort?

Hey ladies,

This is one column I never thought I'd be writing in to, but I sense trouble brewing on the horizon and I'm not sure how to deal with it.

I recently got married and love that my new husband also plays -- it was one of the draws when we first started dating. I rolled a toon on his server, and joined the guild that belongs to him, his brothers, and one of his male coworkers. I even moved over two of my max level toons, much to the devastation of my siblings, who play on my original server.

The trouble has started with their little used Alliance guild. My hubby wants his Double Agent achievement, and I agreed to make a little alt to play with him even though I have mine already. The boys had their guild, though they all played Horde, and we joined it for the leveling boost. Where the Horde guild is GMed by one of my new brothers-in-law, the Alliance on is GMed by his coworker that I am not overly fond of, and right away there was trouble.

The first problem came when we logged on and I discovered that my rank was Porn Star. This isn't appropriate, period, but my new husband is also a recovering porn addict (something this coworker knows) and it added a whole new level of uncomfortable to the situation. The coworker thought it was hilarious, and wouldn't change it for me until I got my hubby to step in.

Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm.

When a couple makes a friend pick a side in an argument, it's not conducive to a good friendship.

First of all, pardon my english and grammar, because it was never my first language.
I need a help regarding my mistake.

I always interested on WOW but i always quit playing when i reach the level cap but crawling back for the new expansion.

But it was all changed when i met this couple that changed my gaming life entirely. They become my best friends, way better than my real life best friends. They care about me, every time i log in they always greed me, and we even share our secrets.

But during the last patch of cataclysm, these couple got engage. Im so happy for them, but they started to argue with each other and asking me to take a side, which is very uncomfortable for me because i love them both.