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Filed under: (Engineering) Hoof and Horn R & D

Scopes: The optimal optical augmentation option

Or

"I seeee you!"

It is often said in the workshop here at Hoof & Horn that the Engineer's finest asset is that he can have a little of most classes, and a pinch of all professions. We can float like mages, dash like rogues. We can stun like tauren, we can snare like druids. We can augment one's fishing, or teach one blacksmithing or even alchemy plans. Of crucial importance to many, including many Engineers, is our ability to surpass the enchanters at what they do best: augmenting weapons. For what enchantment can be placed on a gun? None that we have found, and we're tired of buying enchanters drinks to try to get them to talk. [Broke, too! -PG] The Engineers alone can craft the deadly accurate scopes, the only way to augment a ranged weapon. Schemata for scopes can be found throughout the known worlds, and in the dungeons of each. Many can be trained or purchased, while the most powerful are held by the lords of the underworld, or the minions of Karazhan. Herein we will discuss scopes, and related devices.

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Filed under: Hunter, Engineering, Tips, Virtual selves, Odds and ends, Humor, Guides, RP, Making money, Enchants, (Engineering) Hoof and Horn R & D

Zapthrottle: The ramifications, rationalizations, and remunerations of mote extraction

Or

"Someone's been breaking the first two rules of Mote Club."

It can be said, quite accurately, that Engineering is not a merchant's craft. Many Engineers of all ratings bemoan the fact that their devices are not easily marketed. What we can make tends to require a rating in Engineering to operate, or it is bound to its maker on creation, or both. This tends to mean our prospective customers would, by necessity, likely be able to produce themselves what we might offer them for sale. To many an Engineer, this has been a burr in the cogs for years. To many other Engineers, however, it represents merely a challenge.

There are ways and means to make money as an Engineer, though not so much as those high and mighty Enchanters, with their "75 gold for that one, plus mats" profession. One such way is through mote extraction, or the science of Motectomization. Due to a recent settlement with the Engineering Student's Association, that word will not be used again within this lecture. The mote extractor, especially as combined with other facets of our profession, can prove quite a reliable resource, and quite a profitable one at that. Herein we will discuss the ways of learning the Mote Extractor, and where to employ it for the most lucrative results.

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Filed under: Engineering, Items, Tips, WoW Social Conventions, Virtual selves, Odds and ends, Humor, Guides, RP, Making money, (Engineering) Hoof and Horn R & D

Renunciation: the trials, tribulations, and terrors of respecialization

Or:

"Are you sure you want to do this? Really?"

In last week's lecture we discussed factions and reputations an Engineer might find beneficial for their career progression. In that lecture, it was mentioned that the only real decision to be made for an Engineer is between the Goblin Engineering school, known as the Goblin Experimental Engineering Korporation, or the Gnomish school, known as the Mechanical Engineering Guild, Associated. Making this choice is an important step in the career paths of many Engineers. It involves a lifelong oath of loyalty, a considerable investment of time and resources, and it steers the direction your tinkering will take for the rest of your career.

Well, almost. One can renounce one's affiliation with M.E.G.A. or G.E.E.K. but at a cost. Perhaps a cost too terrible to bear for many Engineers. The life expectancy of an Engineer is short, and thus his lifelong loyalty can be considered a less than permanent thing. Even so, the memory of an Engineer is long, and it is no simple task to convince those who were once your sworn (and "lifelong") rivals that you are now their sworn (and "lifelong") ally.

You should know before you even consider this the drawbacks involved. Other professions allow a change of specialization with relative ease and minor expense. It is, for many of them, simply a matter of purchasing a new school. They are not like the Engineers, though. The Dragonscale leatherworkers are not foes of Elemental leatherworkers, not to the same degree as are Gnomish and Goblin Engineers. For the Engineer a sacrifice must be made, in order to demonstrate to your prospective new associates that your intentions are good, and your commitment to them firm.

Herein we will discuss the method of changing one's specialization within Engineering.

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Filed under: Engineering, Tips, How-tos, Virtual selves, Odds and ends, Humor, Guides, RP, NPCs, (Engineering) Hoof and Horn R & D

Unobtainium: Rare, ridiculous, and remarkable reputation schematics

Or

"There's no such thing! Is there?"

Engineers have among the greatest freedom to choose our allegiances throughout Azeroth and Outland. While Jewelcrafters and leatherworkers spend hours and days making a name for themselves with the Furbolgs of the Timbermaw, or the druids of Cenarion, Engineers remain free. No such slaves to the grind of reputation, we. For what could we learn from the various factions of the lands? It's little they can teach us, and little we would gain from the work done. No, our main choice of faction has always been to join M.E.G.A. or to take our lives in our hands and join G.E.E.K.

With few exceptions. There are several factions we can seek out whose expertise in Engineering allows us to learn a thing or two (quite literally) from them. In this lecture we will discuss where an enterprising Engineer can go to learn some of the rarest schemata known: those derived from earned reputations.

The factions with which you'll need to work are the Zandalar Tribe of trolls in Stranglethorn Vale, the Cenarion Expedition, predominantly in Zangarmarsh, and the Consortium, predominantly in Netherstorm. Zandalar trolls will require you to join their battle against Hakkar, the Blood God, and his priests in Zul'Gurub. This will require a raid 20 strong, though if you've mastered the art of flying you'll likely find you need somewhat fewer than that to be effective. The Cenarion Expedition has agents posted in the western barrens of Hellfire Peninsula, but the main camp can be found further west in Zangarmarsh. They offer work mostly in and around Zangarmarsh itself, including, most prominently, reputation earned from delving into the Coilfang Reservoir: Underbog, Slave Pens, and Steam Vaults. Consortium reputation can be earned in Auchindoun, but only in the Mana Tombs, and that only until you've reached Honored. Beyond that you'll need to visit Nagrand for Ogre beads or, ultimately, Netherstorm for a variety of work.

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Filed under: Engineering, Tips, Virtual selves, Odds and ends, Humor, Factions, Guides, RP, (Engineering) Hoof and Horn R & D

Excerpts from the Book of Gears: The mysticism, mayhem, and madness of mechanics


It is often said that the Gnomes are the least spiritual of the races of Azeroth. The wonders of their world are mechanical in nature, technical in design, and largely owed entirely to their own hands. Gnomes have little chance to become healers of any stripe, and some say this is due in part to their willing isolation from the world of the spiritual and the touch of the divine.

But there exists in many other races the desire to connect to the source of all creation. To reach out and touch the infinite. To some Engineers, a function of their artifice is to access the forces which power all of creation, and, once there, to perhaps make just a few minor adjustments, maybe tighten up a gear or two. The cataclysmic danger of any Engineer able to do any such thing does not, as a rule, occur to such Engineers. Those who might naysay such grand designs as heresy, madness, or more commonly A Really Bad Idea For Too Many Reasons to List are not generally included in conversations on the topic. Engineers, perhaps Gnomish Engineers in particular, are not easily dissuaded from a task they have set themselves. In light of this, they do not often invite others who might try. It seems a waste of energy all around.

It is the spiritual side of Engineering we will discuss today, using notes provided by Chief Engineer Geargrinder.

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Filed under: Engineering, Fan stuff, WoW Social Conventions, Virtual selves, Odds and ends, Humor, RP, (Engineering) Hoof and Horn R & D

Battle of the Bots: The clamor, commotion, and cogwheels of combat toys

The mind of the Engineer is an engine: always running, always in need of service. For the quizzical tinker, puzzles and games are the lubrication of that engine, allowing the Engineer to relax the gears in his head while employing their ceaseless motion upon diversions, that the mind's mainspring might be fully wound and its cogs sheened with oil when again the Engineer returns to the bench. Also, we like playing with toys.

As is often the case, Engineering's innovations in the field of toymakery and diversionology set us ahead of our counterparts in less distinguished professional fields. Herein, we will discuss two of Engineering's least appreciated and most rarefied devices: the combat robots.

There are two models of robot made by the Engineer whose sole purpose is the eradication of others of their kind. The Crashin' Thrashin' Robot and the Steam Tonk Controller are both popular choices, for those able to produce them. The Crashin' Thrashin' Robot operates on its own internal Decisionometer, so the Engineer has no capacity to control it. The Steam Tonk, however, is a tribute to the mastery not only of the crafter, but the skill of the Tonkateer who operates it.

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Filed under: Engineering, Items, Virtual selves, Odds and ends, Humor, Guides, RP, (Engineering) Hoof and Horn R & D

Whirligig: the generation, jury rigging, and joys of the gyrocopter



...And associated technology

Or:

"IT'S WHISPER QUIET!"

Since the very dawn of sentience, since the first daring Gnome looked skyward and said "Hey what's up there," since the first drink addled Goblin fell back near-insensate and said that those birds weren't so great, anyone could fly if they had a mind to, before falling into a Dark Iron Ale-induced coma, it has been our dream.

Since the first parachute cloak failed to deploy (Engineer 2nd Class Amplebottom regrets packing her bloomers in that pack, and points out respectfully that the quantity of cloth involved did slow Engineer 1st Class Plummetorque's descent somewhat), we have held out hope.

Since the first Engineer took flight in Outland, we have dreamed, demanded, planned, protested, and raised our voices (amplified or otherwise) as one, crying out to the great Engineers, the Blue Gears of the World, for succor. Let us, we have cried out, slip off at last the line and mooring, the chain and the anchor. Let us, we called from Shattrath and Stormspire alike, cast off into the air, in machines we have made ourselves, and trusting only our craft and our skill, reach out to touch the skies themselves!

Ahem.

Many of us, however, died in the process. Turns out our craft and our skill are not always the most trustworthy of companions, much less copilots, much less sole source of support between our posteriors and the unforgiving, unresilient ground below. However, after much research on both flight and gravitational acceleration, Engineers have at their disposal two crafts for aerial flight. Herein we discuss the components required for each model of the Engineers' Flying Machines, and possible advantages therefrom derived.

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Filed under: Engineering, Tips, Virtual selves, Odds and ends, Humor, Guides, RP, Mounts, WoW TCG, (Engineering) Hoof and Horn R & D

A Tinker's Personal Protective Equipment: specialties and specifications of sartorial safety

Or

"We can dance/ We can dance/ Wearin' the Safety Pants!"

Engineering is a dangerous line of work. At every turn there's caustic chemicals, grinding machinery, explosive reagents, angry law enforcement officials, disgruntled fire brigades, out of control dragonlings, and steam tonks running amok. Many an Engineer has lost track of a finger or two from time to time, and many others have put considerable research, born of necessity, into the design of prosthetic limbs to offset such professional risk.

But there's no need for such damage to occur to a right-thinking Engineer. While we're no great hand (or hoof) at stitching together many garments, there exist plenty of items which can be worn not only for protective purposes, but also great aesthetic effect. Herein, we will discuss the varieties of Personal Protective Equipment, or PPE, available to Engineers, with an eye to not only safety, but fashion.

Head Protection: You'll shoot your eye out, kid.
Headgear is where we'll start with this lecture, as it's the part of your PPE gear you're likely to be able to make yourself. Of course the signature of the Engineer's look has long been thought to be the goggles. This is the easiest part of the PPE ensemble to obtain. A monocular goggle is better than nothing at all, but any number of goggles exist which provide better coverage as well as better utility. Remember, always keep your head on a swivel, and keep that swivel calibrated to within acceptable limits of swivelocity.

For those Engineers who are unwise Goblin enough to be unconcerned with the eyes, there is also the pair of Foreman's Helmets: the Enchanted version for spell slingers, and the Reinforced version for mail wearers. Even the most staunch M.E.G.A. member must admit that the head is also important, though some Taurens in the workshop have never quite understood the need to protect their already well-protected (and some say solid bone) heads. The production of the Foreman's Helmets is left to those of you who are members of G.E.E.K. Hoof and Horn, as ever, disavows all knowledge, responsibility, or even vague understanding of the Goblin Engineer's craft.

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Filed under: Engineering, Items, Tips, Odds and ends, Humor, Guides, RP, (Engineering) Hoof and Horn R & D

Theoretical Engineering: postulations and prognostications pertaining to prostheses

Or

"I'd give my right arm for that schematic."

Periodically, Hoof and Horn Research and Development will offer a lecture on theoretical engineering. These lectures will deal with concepts, rather than existing designs. None of the schemata presented in Theoretical Engineering lectures exist, nor are they slated to exist.

Engineers are innovators of ideas, testers of limits, and blower-uppers of objects. All three of these traits combine in the Engineer in various percentages, but all three can be found in some quantity within each Engineer. As such, many an Engineer has lost an eye, or a horn, or even a yard or more of their total height. And many have lost limbs. Many an Engineer has observed, over the years, that few professionals are better equipped to replace (not to mention cause) the loss of one's own limb. A precedent exists. Gerenzo Wrenchwhistle, a gnome in Stonetalon Mountains, is known to have developed and implemented a functioning mechanical limb, which serves him quite successfully. Many a demon has been observed using mechanical limbs as well. Unfortunately, the design of both Gerenzo's and more fel-sourced limbs have eluded even the longest beards and sharpest horns of Engineering specialists.

For years Hoof and Horn R&D has developed and designed plans for a variety of mechanical limbs. Herein, we will discuss the potential for this technology to improve our lives, our technical abilities, and perhaps even our arena rankings.

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Filed under: Engineering, Fan stuff, Odds and ends, Humor, RP, (Engineering) Hoof and Horn R & D

Mechanical mechanics: The models, makes, and manufacturing of mechanized merchants and robotic repairmen

Or

"Where's the coin box on this thing?"

Welcome to the latest in a series of lectures by Hoof & Horn Research & Development. These lectures explain, or attempt to explain, some of the ins and outs of Engineering. For advanced technicians and amateur tinkers alike, the finer points of Engineering can never be too often reviewed. Engineers will tell you: your life may just depend on it!

It happens to the best of us, in the best of situations: our armor breaks. Our ammo runs dry. Our reagent sack starts to feel a little light, and we're too far in a dungeon to make a run for rum, much less take a shopping break. Some dungeons have repair facilities, sure, but not everyone's made a good enough name with the Violet Eye, or Cenarion Expedition, or even the Broken of Terrokar, to be sure of a quick repair near a dungeon's entrance. Not to mention the times when the need for repair comes deep into a dungeon, far from the friendly smith at the entrance.

As with so many of life's problems, Engineering offers the solution as well as numerous contributory factors to the problem. Engineer 1st Class Flimsy is known to have told his students often that breaking things is the hallmark of an inquisitive Engineer. Some of his students are thought to have taken this a bit far. EFC Flimsy's whereabouts remain unknown. But among the things they, and we, have at our disposal to make up for the shortcomings of fragile armor and finite ammunition are the Field Repair Bots. Herein we will discuss the manufacture of the two models of repair bot, as well as what supplies can be obtained from them and what methods have been used to coerce money inserted into one back out.

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Filed under: Engineering, Analysis / Opinion, Tips, Odds and ends, Humor, Screenshots, Guides, RP, (Engineering) Hoof and Horn R & D

The Chirurgeon's Craft: Healing with engineering, over patient objections

Or

"You may want to brace yourself."

It will come as no surprise to skilled Engineers, apprentices, and innocent bystanders alike that Engineers have a vested interest in their own health. Perhaps more than most tradescreatures, the Engineer has far more opportunity to need healing as a result of his own craft. As a result, Engineers have devised a number of ways in which they might come to the aid of their compatriots, their allies, and even their own devices. Herein we will discuss the various methods by which Engineers can heal themselves or their allies. Methods of making amends for having caused the damage thereby healed will be left for a later lecture.

Potion Injectors: Don't worry, it won't hurt a bit, stop struggling.
A boon to many an Engineer who is short on space and long on supplies, the matched set of Potion Injectors can save a great deal of room, before they even begin saving lives. Each injector carries twenty doses, and takes up a quarter of the space a like amount of potion would. Further, the injectors can be stored in an Engineer's toolbox, unlike potions.

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Filed under: Engineering, Analysis / Opinion, Tips, Odds and ends, Humor, Guides, RP, (Engineering) Hoof and Horn R & D

Brrzzap: The requirements, regulations, and rigamarole of ray guns

Or

"Oh no, I've debigulated us all!"

The arsenal of the Engineer holds an array of combat gear for use at range, close up, or even on a time delay. The Engineer's toolbox might produce explosives, or decoys, or rockets, or snares. Some Engineers have even used their talents to convert themselves into high altitude bombs, though the result is often as bad for the Engineer as for his target.

However, an old standby of the Engineer cannot be overlooked. Pushing the envelope of our technical prowess, Engineer designers have produced a family of weapons which have been considered at times our signature pieces: the ray guns. Herein we will discuss the creation and use of the ray emitters available to all Engineers, with particular attention on what has long been a prize piece of the Mechanical Engineering Guild, Associated: the Gnomish Death Ray.

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Filed under: Tips, Odds and ends, Humor, Guides, RP, (Engineering) Hoof and Horn R & D

Advanced animatronics: The creations, calibrations, and controls of combat companions


Or

"You call that a sheep? I'll show you a sheep!"

Welcome to the latest in a series of lectures by Hoof & Horn Research & Development. These lectures explain, or attempt to explain, some of the ins and outs of Engineering. For advanced technicians and amateur tinkers alike, the finer points of Engineering can never be too often reviewed. Engineers will tell you: your life may just depend on it!

Advanced Animatronics

An Engineer is a threat to his enemies. At any moment he might deploy a device, activate an assembly, or engage a gauge which can destroy his target, himself, his immediate environment, or his reputation with the local druids. With this in mind, Engineers are often asked, and in some cases required by local statutes, to refrain from employing their most potent creations in public, or mixed company, or at all.

In light of this unreasonable stricture placed upon us by those laypeople who are unusually fearful or have unfairly accurate memories, Engineers over time have devised a way in which we may quite literally throw our own party. Throw it at our target, to be sure. Herein we will discuss the various forms of self-motivated Engineering devices which may be used in combat, as well as the varying results which one might see from the use thereof.

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Filed under: Engineering, Items, Analysis / Opinion, Tips, Odds and ends, Humor, RP, (Engineering) Hoof and Horn R & D

Animatronics: The manufacture, maintenance, and mastery of mechanical moppets

With corellary data regarding non-manufactured but just as mechanical companions.
or:
"How to make new friends...from scratch."

The Engineer is unique among tradesbeings. For many reasons those practitioners of "the greatest art, the grandest science" (© U. Geargrinder) have long been set apart from their counterparts in less technical fields. Either the demands of science, or the cruel whims of physics, or the insistent demands of the local fire brigade have all set Engineers apart from the rest of the world.

But one way in which the Engineer is set above the crowd, and not placed in a containment cell "while the authorities sort this out," is in our ability to craft companions for ourselves, our associate, or the sake of our bookie. Engineers, unique to crafting professions, can learn to produce our own mechanical pets to keep us company. Here we will discuss the various pets available to the tinkerer, and related pets which are too advanced to be crafted by any but the masters of the field.

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Filed under: Engineering, Odds and ends, Humor, Guides, RP, WoW TCG, (Engineering) Hoof and Horn R & D

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