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Mat's birthday wish

Once upon a time, there was a young boy named Mat. And today ... today was his birthday.

But even though it was his birthday, the kids at school were mean to Mat.
"We don't like you, Mat!" said the kids.

Mat was sad.
He ran home to cry under his bed.
But on the way home, a mighty figure appeared behind him!

"AKA MA GOSH, FRIEND!" said the orc. "I hear it is your birthday!"
Mat turned around, surprised.
"My name is Garrosh Hellscream."

"I can never forget the insult to the Horde's honor perpetrated at Theramore!"
"I can never forget the atrocities committed by Krom'gar in the Horde's name!"
"But most importantly ..."
"I can never forget a birthday."

Young Mat's eyes lit up with delight.
"On this, the anniversary of your birth, the mighty Horde shall honor you with one birthday wish!"

"Gosh," said Mat. "A birthday wish!"
"But ... I don't know what to wish for!"
"I do," said Garrosh.

"You should wish to rule them all, atop a throne of skulls!"
"No," said Mat. "That's a terrible birthday wish."

"Aha," said Garrosh. "Then you wish to plunder your enemies' lumber and see their cities awash in flame?!"
"No," said Mat. "That's not my birthday wish, either!"

"So then, young warrior ...
"What is your one birthday wish?"
"I know," said Mat ...

"A true warchief partners with pizza!"

"Blood and thunder!" said Garrosh.
"That is the finest birthday wish I have ever heard!"

And so Garrosh took Mat to Pippitone's Pizza, ordering him the finest plain cheese pizza in all the land.

And also all the kids who were mean to Mat died of cancer. The end.