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"Dude, that's women's underwear," Throgg said. The orc rolled his massive shoulders and furrowed his ungroomed, thick unibrow. Lolegolas couldn't imagine a more perfect look for the death knight. Unibrow, drooling, and hunched over. If it weren't for the gloves Throgg wore, his knuckles would constantly bleed from scraping the ground. "That's for girls."

The furbolg whirled on me. Its massive pecs twitched like a five-year old eager to get to the cake. "What, this? Oh, it's a bad item from that quest in Ashenvale. Just don't complete the quest. It's awesome."

"Everyone, I'd like you to meet Sleepy Willy!" Tommy said as he took the podium. The little creature hovered a few inches off the floor next to him. "He has one eye! And when we go into dungeons, he floats around behind me. And if the tank isn't pulling fast enough, Willy totally falls asleep, and it's very cute, and the girls say 'Awwww.' They really like my Wil ... "

A good sack is a piece of wonder. Some sacks are born fantastic, with all the attributes and glory that a sack should possess. Other sacks require careful grooming to release their inner potential. But, ultimately, all sacks can achieve greatness. Even those emo bags ("sad sacks," as it were) can rise above their station.

Name: Black Jelly
Type: Common
FoodDamage/Speed: N/A
Attributes:

* Why are we featuring a food on Phat Loot Phriday? Because it's only the best food in the game right now -- this baby restores 45,000 health and 38,400 mana in one sitting. For both of those, this is the biggest gain you can get.
* Unfortunately, it restores those over a period of one minute, which is a pretty long time to be eating. In fact, the Conjured Mana Strudel (the highest level Mage food) restores exactly half of the health and mana in exactly half the time. In terms of a ratio, this food isn't that great (not to mention it costs way more than a Mage's mana -- see below).
* But on the other hand, if you want to /afk while eating and you have a ton of health and mana to regain, this is the food for you. Plus, right after a long, frustrating boss fight, who doesn't want to sit back and enjoy a nice BJ? Black Jelly, of course.
* And I can already hear you all complaining: "Mike, not everyone can use it!" You're right, there's a level 75 level requirement on it. But other than that, regardless of race, class, or creed, everyone can use it.

How to Get It: It's a cooking recipe, put into the game in patch 3.1. So you've got to hit 400 Cooking skill, and then the chef over at the Argent Tournament Grounds, Bethany Cromwell, will teach it to you.After you get the recipe, you'll just need 3 Borean Man'owar per Black Jelly you want to make. The best place to get those is around the edges of the Borean Tundra, so fly through there on your daily quest rounds, pick up a bunch of Borean jellyfish, and then you'll never have to bother a Mage for food again.

Oh, and while you can pick up the recipe at 400, it goes green at 412 and gray at 425. So if you're leveling cooking up right now, it's probably not a bad thing to make to get those skill points, as you'll always be able to use the item as food later on.

Getting Rid of It: You can sell it on the AH for a relatively nice price (for a lot more than you can sell a Conjured Mana Strudel, I'll tell you that), or you can give it away to vendors for 2s 23c.

Name: Cannonball Runner Type: Rare Trinket Damage/Speed: N/A (see below) Abilities: * Summons a cannon that will fire at enemies in front of you. * Lasts for 10 seconds, with a 5 minute cooldown. Will reportedly attack enemies that aren't aggroed, so be careful dropping it in a crowded area. * Fires about seven shots with an average of 50 damage each (though can also crit), so about 350 damage, depending on whatever you're shooting at. * And of course, the name itself hearkens back to the famous Burt Reynolds epic, Cannonball Run. * And the icon (a smiley-face adorned bomb) is great, though Blizzard has since reused it as a number of different bombs and grenades. * And finally, it's one of the best trinkets in World of Warcraft. How to Get It: You've got to drop Cannon Master Willey, hiding in the Scarlet Crusade's armory in the live side of Stratholme. He's down at the end of a hallway, and as you fight him, other people will show up, so one of your group has to sit on cannon duty and fire cannons at the bad guys that show up while the rest of you fight Willey. Down him, and the trinket will drop at about a 17% rate. At level 70, the whole instance is pretty much soloable (depending on your class skill and gear), so odds are that as long as you keep on top of things, you can probably make your way to him by yourself. We'll have to see if Willey shows up in some form in the upcoming Caverns of Time version of Stratholme -- considering that Old Hillsbrad (with all of its familiar faces) is the most popular CoT instance, it's not hard to guess that he will. Getting Rid of It: Sells for 1g 8s 50c, disenchants into a Large Brilliant Shard. Boom!

Name: Rifle of the Stoic Guardian Type: Epic Gun Damage/Speed: 120-224 / 1.90 (90.5 DPS, which is the highest on a gun, save for the Arena PvP guns in S3 and S4 -- except most of it comes from that low speed, see below) Abilities: * +31 Stamina, which might make you think this is a PvP weapon, except for: * Equip: Increases your dodge rating by 20. Which is a weird little stat -- with the stamina added on to it, that means that this gun (named after a "Stoic Guardian") is basically meant as a Tank pulling gun -- it'll let you shoot bullets and give you about the bonus of a minor trinket to dodge and Stam. * But if that's true, what's up with that speed? You might think that a high DPS would mean this gun is good for a Hunter, but that's not quite true across the board -- especially for BM Hunters (a.k.a. Hunters that rely on their talents and abilities to do damage), a bullet pouch will often make this gun too fast to sneak special shots in, which will actually lower the DPS you can do. * But on the other hand, from what I understand, weapon speed doesn't actually affect what happens when you first fire the gun. So the idea here may be that a Warrior, pulling, should have a fast enough gun to get a few shots off during the pull, in order to build up more threat. Why else would Blizzard give tanks such a fast gun? How to Get It: Drops from our old friend Teron Gorefiend, who we last killed for the Soul Cleaver. He's in the Black Temple, there's a Know Your Lore about him, yadda yadda yadda, you know the drill by now. Drop rate on this is about 15%, but the good news is that if you need this (as in, you're a tank who often pulls at the late endgame), you'll probably be able to get it. You might have to fend a few confused Hunters off for it, though. But the dodge rating and the Stamina (not to mention, as we said, the title), should make it pretty clear that this weapon is for a "Stoic Guardian," not a "Pet-loving Peashooter." Getting Rid of It: Sells for 10g 79s 6c. Will disenchant into a Void Crystal.

Name: Titan-forged Leather Helm of Triumph Type: Epic Leather Helm (see below) Armor: 458 Abilities: * +73 Agility, +103 Stamina * A meta and a red socket, with a socket bonus of +8 crit rating * Improves resilience by 59, attack power by 58, and armor penetration by 44 * This is a nice helm for Rogues, but it's especially nice for Druid feral tanks -- considering that they stack Agility, it even rivals the Tier 7 helm of theirs. Thanks to David of the People in Chicago who Drink and WoW group for pointing this out to me the other night. * Since this is a PvP helm, there are actually versions for every class out there. Not all of them are probably as good comparatively as the Feral Druid version, but given the ease of getting these (and the relatively low amount of items you can get in Wintergrasp, it's worth checking out if you need a helm or boot upgrade). How to Get It: Yes, these are Wintergrasp items -- they were added in as of 3.0.8 to beef up the selection from Wintergrasp Marks of Honor. So yes, you've got to get together 40 of those things to get yourself a helm. Which sounds like a lot (you have to rank up to the second rank while playing in Wintergrasp -- about ten honorable kills -- and then win to get three Marks of Honor, or lose to get just one), it actually goes pretty quickly as long as you run to the Lake whenever the battle is on. About 14 fights (so one per day for two weeks, or just one week if you catch a few battles on the weekend), and you'll have a very nice helm. Plus, Wintergrasp is a good time anyway -- you'll have the marks before you know it. And even if you don't want to PvP, I figured we'd do this item this week as a lesson: there are tons of ways to get lots of great gear in the game today. Back in the day, there was just one way to pick up epics: raid with a group of 40 people and beat your head against the wall until you won a roll (and then do that about 10 more times for the rest of your gear). Nowadays, there's PvP gear, rep gear, battlegrounds gear, Arena gear, Heroics, raiding, Stone Keeper's Shards, Badge gear, and so on and so on. Just because you can't get a group of 10 or 25 people together doesn't mean you can't have awesome gear: poke around, do some research (or just stay tuned here), and pretty soon you'll find a rep piece you can easily upgrade to or a piece like this that you can get with just a little effort without ever joining a raid group. Getting Rid of It: Finally got that T7 helm, eh? You can't resell this one back to vendors, and it doesn't disenchant, either. So you can keep it (as a memory of your time spent defending the great walls of Wintergrasp), or just trash it -- type "DELETE" into the little box and say goodbye.

Name: Orb of the Blackwhelp Type: Common Consumable Damage/Speed: N/A Abilities: * Transforms you into a helpless Blackwhelp dragon for up to 15 minutes. You can't attack or cast spells while transformed. * In fact, it's pretty limiting -- you can't even take damage while in this form. You can use self-buff abilities and drink potions and such (rumor is that Winterfall Firewater looks funny while the Orb is on), but the disguise is pretty fragile. * And Wyrmcultists will see right through you in this disguise, as will any other mobs. We'll get to why that's important in a second. * Oh, and coincidentally, Blizzard's item ID number for this item is 31337. Cute. How to Get It: Up in Blade's Edge, in the Wyrmcultist chain of quests leading out of Evergrove, you'll eventually find your way to Blackwing Coven, a cave west of the Grishna Arrakoa settlement (through the Wyrmskull Tunnel). There's a quest called "Meeting at Blackwing Coven," that requires you to kill Wyrmcultists, get "Costume Scraps" from them, and then use five of those to make a costume that will make you look like one of them. The actual quest has you meeting with an NPC and then leaving, but if you hurry (the costume only lasts three minutes), you can run over and also chat with another NPC on the opposite side of the cavern from the quest target. The NPC is called the "Wyrmcult Provisioner," and if you're in costume, he'll be friendly, and act as an actual vendor. Among a few other general goods (I stocked up on bullets while there), he also sells this item for a mere 2g 50s. And the good news is that even if you've done the quest already, you can go back, murder more Wyrmcultists for more Costume Scraps, and go visit the provisioner again. So even if you didn't catch this the first time around, it's still waiting for you in Blade's Edge. The Provisioner also sells the Wyrmcultist's Cloak, which is a nice Fire Resistance cloak, especially since it's so easy to get. Getting Rid of It: It's only got 3 charges, so use those and it's out of your life forever. You could also sell it back for 62s 50c, but unfortunately it's BoP so no auction house profits off of this one.

Name: Booterang (Wowhead, Thottbot, Armory) Type: Quest item Damage/Speed: N/A Abilities: * Gets Disobedient Peons back up and working again, and fast. * As you might expect, the Booterang is a boot you can throw that will come back to you, whereever you are. It's part of the Netherwing rep questline, and involves a daily quest where you must search out Disobedient Dragonmaw Peons on Netherwing Ledge, toss the Booterang at them to give them an attitude adjustment, and then the boot flies back to you (and as you catch it, you do a great fist pump motion). It's great, great fun -- while the bombing daily quests are always a good time, and the Murloc de-mind-controlling on Sunwell Isle always brings a smile to my face, the Booterang is the best. * Unfortunately, the Booterang only works on Disobedient Peons on Netherwing Ledge, so using it to knock some sense into raiders who aren't paying attention or battleground members who aren't fighting at the flag is, unfortunately, out of the question. But maybe we'll see an upgraded Booterang in the expansion? * There is also a technique called "Booterang chasing" -- you can use the item from your mount, and since an epic mount is required to do the Netherwing quests, you actually move faster than the Booterang can come back to you. Since you can use it 20 times in a row, you can throw out 20 Booterangs at various peons, and as long as you keep moving, you can trail all 20 Booterangs behind you, spinning around you as they try to find their way back. The 'rangs can be trailed anywhere, too, so people can be seen flying around Shadowmoon Valley with a trail of spinning boots behind them. How to Get It: There are lots of Netherwing quest line guides around (including an official one) -- to start the quests, you've got to first have a 300 riding skill, and then you'll have to grind a few dailiy quests until you get to Friendly reputation with the Netherwing Faction (by masquerading as a Dragonmaw Orc grunt). Once you hit Friendly, you'll get upgraded to an Overseer, and with the promotion comes your very own Booterang (which you've got to assemble with a quick quest that requires you to get some Knothide Leather, easily attained on the AH if you're not a skinner, and the hide of Tyrannus, a dinosaur hiding in the northernmost ecodome in Netherstorm). Make your Booterang (the "There are many like it, but this one is yours" inscription, along with the text of the quests, comes straight from the great Full Metal Jacket), and then the next quest requires you to bust some Peon heads. And let me tell you -- after a day of slogging through the Netherwing mines dealing with all those Flayer respawns and fighting with other players over drops and mobs, there is nothing better than slinging a booterang around and telling some lazy orcs to get back to work. Getting Rid of It: Unfortunately, you don't actually get it -- even though you "make" it by getting the mats together, the Overseer who gives you the quest keeps it when you turn the quest in. It sure is fun while you have it (and note to Blizzard: this would be a great leatherworking pattern, especially if you threw a stun or even a debuff on it), but when the quest is gone, so is your Booterang. Until the next day, anyway, when you can do the quest again.

Name: Cosmos Type: Epic Off-hand Damage/Speed: N/A Abilities: * +52 Stamina, +55 Intellect. Which points at Warlocks (they tend to value Stamina, as they can convert HP to mana), but really any caster who uses offhands would love this one. * Because it improves hit rating by 51 (!), crit strike rating by 41, and spell power by 84. * Definitely the tops for offhands in the game (remember, this is paired up with a mainhand, so if the stats seem a little low when you're comparing to a 2h, don't forget this is only half a weapon). * And plus, you're carrying around the actual Cosmos -- careful not to drop it! How to Get It: Unfortunately, an item this phat isn't going to be easy to get, and this one isn't an exception: it drops from 25-man Algalon, the hardest of the hard bosses in Ulduar. He, as Blizzard has said, destroys raids and feeds on your tears -- just to get to him, you have to conquer all of the hard modes in Ulduar, and oh yeah, you only have an hour to beat him after engaging, or he does nothing less than blow up the entire world. So he's a pain. Finish him off, save the world (again), and then maybe, if you win the roll, you'll get to carry the universe around in your offhand. And hey, did you know Algalon was actually voiced by Chris Metzen? You can hear him yelling things like "Witness the fury of the cosmos!" in Ensidia's kill movie. Getting Rid of It: I like syllabear's comment on Wowhead so much I'm going to repeat it here: ""Hmm... "[Broken Branch of the Invoker] vs Cosmos... Ah well, the Branch has more crit." It's true -- no matter how much more powerful the next expansion gets, it's a little silly that we'll one day again be comparing blues and greens to the total ultimate power of the Cosmos. But if you do want to toss Carl Sagan's favorite subject in the trash, you'll get 7g 56s 23c for it. Or you can disenchant it into an Abyss Crystal.

Name: Perpetual Purple Firework Type: Epic (sometimes Uncommon) Trinket Damage/Speed: N/A Abilities: * Use: Shoots a purple fireworks display into the air that explodes into a rain of sparkles. * It has infinite uses (hence the "perpetual"), and a 30 second cooldown. The whole display itself lasts about 4 seconds, but it does like pretty purty. * No level requirements, so anyone can use it -- provided you can get it. How to Get It: Yes, it's a TCG item, but not one of the normal ones, where you just buy a booster and hope you pick it up. Nope, this fireworks trinket is part of Upper Deck's "points" program, in which points is just a fancy word for "spend more money!" Every booster pack you buy has a certain number of points in it, and when you've collected enough points cards, you can spend them on UDE's website for ingame items like this one. There's about 100 points per booster pack, and this item currently costs 3,000 points (it used to cost 10,000!), so you'd have to buy 30 booster packs (MSRP around $5, though you can find them cheaper and more expensive in different places, so about $150 total) to get enough points for the trinket. Fortunately, we have eBay, where people are selling and buying the UDE points for as cheap as $15. Still not really a great way to get an ingame item (spending real money for virtual stuff, woo!), but if you really want to get your hands on this trinket, there you go. Otherwise, just do a few runs of Scarlet Monastery's Armory, and you'll have all the fireworks you need. Getting Rid of It: You can't! Vendors won't take it, and it'll never run out of charges, so the only way to get rid of it would be to destroy it. And that would be like throwing money down the drain, which is something that TCG buyers would never ever do, right? Right?

Name: Onxyia Scale Cloak
Type: Cloak
Armor: 43
Abilties:

* +7 Stamina, +16 Fire resistance. Ah, the days of level 60, they seem so far gone now. Compare this to a prime tanking cloak nowadays, and take a look at just how far we've come.
* On equip, protects the wearer from being fully engulfed by something called Shadow Flame. What is Shadow Flame, you ask? Here's where this item really gets interesting: sit back and enjoy a tale of old level 60 raiding.
* Shadow Flame is actually an ability used by Nefarian, Onyxia's brother, and a few other bosses in Blackwing Lair. He casts a huge unblockable AoE during his fight -- unblockable, that is, unless you're wearing one of these cloaks (although since then, Ice Block and Divine Shield will both stop it).
* But to get a cloak (see below) you'd have to beat Onyxia, so this item was basically meant to send guilds back to the big dragon even while they were working through BWL. Interesting little mechanic, though you always used to hear guilds say they were trying to "get more cloaks" so they could go after Nef.
* This item doesn't seem to be returning in the anniversary patch, unfortunately. We get a new Vendorstrike, but no Onyxia Scale Cloak?

How to Get It: It's actually a leatherworking item that requires a high-level tailoring item to make (so your guild would usually have a high-level leatherworker assigned to put cloaks together for them, as well as a tailor to make the Cindercloth Cloaks required). Along with a few vendor items, it also requires an Scale of Onyxia, which dropped at 100% rate once every Onyxia kill. So basically, if you wanted to outfit your 40-man (yes, 40) raid with a cloak each, you'd have to down Ony 40 times to make everyone a cloak.

And to get the pattern in the first place, you have to down Onyxia, take the head to a faction leader, and then they'll send you to a quest giver that will teach you the recipe for the cloak. Feeling nostalgic yet, old-school raiders?

Keep in mind that if you are 70, you won't see the exclamation point to find this quest. You'll have to turn on low-level quest tracking if you want to see it. And you'll probably have to do it before patch 3.2.2, since the old Onyxia is likely going bye-bye.

Getting Rid of It: You never know when Nefarian might return -- maybe for the 10th anniversary? But in case you're not worried about that, you can trade the cloak in for 1g 51s 98c, disenchant it into a Large Brilliant Shard, or sell it on the AH, as it is BoE.

Name: Staff of Trickery Type: Epic Staff Damage/Speed: 358-537 / 2.40 (186.5 DPS) Abilities: * +89 Agility, +133 Stamina * Adds 1843 Feral Attack Power * Increases attack power by 180 * This is the premium pre-raid Feral Druid tanking staff, as chosen by our own Allison Roberts. Sure, it's common (it's pretty easy to get, as you can see below), but not only are the stats great for Bear tanks, but it looks amazing as well. Those eyes glow even without an enchant! That's hot. * And Hunters, this weapon is not, I repeat not, for you. If there's a Bear Druid in your group who needs it, you've got to pass. That's the stuff of ursine nightmares -- a Hunter coveting this staff just because it's got all that Agility on it. Trust me, there are better weapons for you. How to Get It: Drops from Cyanigosa, the last boss in Heroic Violet Hold. Violet Hold, I have to say, is the Black Morass of Wrath -- you get in, you fight a lot of stuff, you get out. It's perfect. And Skinners can go nuts in there, too -- almost everything you kill can be skinned with a nice chance of Icy Dragonscales. Definitely my favorite "Have 30 minutes?" instance. The staff drops at about a 20% rate (probably a little less than that), which is why you can see it all over the place. But as Alison pointed out, there's a reason for that: until you head into Naxx and get some nice drops in there, this'll do ya right. Getting Rid of It: Sells to vendors for 25g 67s 51c. Disenchants into an Abyss Crystal.

Name: Weather-beaten Fishing Hat (Wowhead, Thottbot, Armory) Type: Rare Cloth Head Armor: 127 Attributes: * +40 Stamina, +40 Spirit * On equip: increased fishing +5. This hat isn't to be confused with the Lucky Fishing Hat, which also gives this fishing bonus, and is available only through turn-ins at the Stranglethorn Fishing Tournament. +5 bonus isn't a huge bonus to fishing at all (your main +bonus comes from your fishing pole), but given that it's an extra +5, it's worth having. * And here's the good part: on use, attach a lure to your equipped fishing pole that increases fishing by +75 for 10 minutes. With a 10 minute cooldown, you effectively have an infinite lure. Unfortunately, the highest bonus from lures is actually 100, so if you need those extra few points somewhere, you'll still have to shell out for a lure (or, more likely, pick them up from the fishing quest reward). But this hat will come in handy if you're doing any regular fishing for sure. * Plus, can you say stylin'? How to Get It: It's a rare (like 1%) drop from the Bag of Fishing Treasures, the reward from the daily fishing quests in Shattrath or Dalaran. So basically all you've got to do is fish a lot and get lucky. Fortunately, Blizzard just buffed the daily fishing quest -- it now sometimes gives a Dalaran cooking award, which is a big help if you're going for that hat. And this is a great time to mention something we heard at BlizzCon as well. Blizzard is working on tuning up fishing, and they mentioned Animal Crossing as an influence. They said that likely, you'll see a fish in the water and decide whether or not you want to go after it, and then you'll throw your lure in and have to watch as the fish does or doesn't decide to bite it. Does that sound more fun? Maybe not, but Blizzard has said they specifically want to bring more fun into fishing and all of the other professions soon. Should be interesting to see. Getting Rid of It: You'll want to save it, because even though the regular stats may not be that great, odds are you'll have to wait quite a while until another fishing hat option rolls around again. But just in case they do implement that Animal Crossing thing, and you hate it so much you want to quit fishing and burn all of your gear, you can sell it off for 2g 54s 90c, or disenchant it into a Large Prismatic Shard, with a small chance of a Void Crystal.

Name: The Soulblade Type: Epic Main-hand Dagger Damage/Speed: 87-258 / 1.80 (96.0 DPS) Attributes: * +39 Stamina, +44 Intellect, +42 Spirit * And yes, that Spirit makes this about as Warlock as daggers come, nowadays. Since all of the spellpower changes, caster and healer loot seems to be mixed up quite a bit -- almost anyone can use almost any of the nicest loot at the top. But Warlocks need Stamina, which this knife has, to Life Tap life away from, and they're also big fans of Spirit as well. You might have to make the case on a roll for this one, but combined with the name of the item, this is a Warlock dagger. * Improves hit rating by 30, which doesn't hurt either, especially for Affliction Warlocks. * Increases spell power by 481. 'Nuff said. * And provides 576 Feral Attack Power. Which doesn't matter much to Druids -- this is not a weapon you'd actually want to go feral with -- but just shows that Blizzard is covering their bases with Feral AP. How to Get It: Drops from KT, and not Kael'thas (remember him? I'm kind of surprised he hasn't made another reappearance in Wrath yet). Nope, it's Kel'thuzad, at the very end of 10-man Naxxramas. Roll your guild up through all of the bosses, make it past the Safety Dance and Sapphiron, drop the original big bad of vanilla WoW, and with a 15% or so chance, this dagger is yours. To roll on, anyway. Like I said, you'll probably have to fight off a few other casters. But that's what that Fear spell is for, right? Getting Rid of It: Disenchants into, you guessed it, an Abyss Crystal. Sells back to vendors for 21g 73s 15c.

Name: Rod of the Sun King Type: Epic One-hand Mace Damage/Speed: 189-352 / 2.70 (100.2 DPS) Abilities: * Increases attack power by 52. * Chance on hit: gain 10 energy or 5 rage. This is the proc (short for procedure, from the programming world, though it's come to mean a number of other things) that really makes this mace stand out as a choice pic for Rogues or DPS Warriors -- the proc rate seems to be around 3 procs per minute, which is a substantial amount of energy and rage coming back to the user. * Unfortunately, it also seems there's a short cooldown on the proc, which means you can't have a bunch of procs in a row, and get a bunch of free energy or rage back to back. Still, this weapon provides a pretty steady source of extra Warrior/Rogue fuel, and it's exceptional for that reason. How to Get It: Drops from Kael'thas -- the Tempest Keep version, not the Magisters' Terrace one. The drop rate is somewhere between 15 and 20%, but the proc on this weapon makes it pretty specific -- only Warriors or Rogues would ever be able to use it to its fullest, and even then, it's definitely not a tanking weapon. Rogues may be tempted to switch to a Mace spec just to use this, but Warriors would only need it for a DPS set. Druids, unfortunately for them, have no use for this weapon, even the bear kinds. Since the proc requires a "chance on hit," and bear Droods don't actually hit anything with their weapon (just their paws), it'll never proc for them. Blizzard might have been a little more giving on that one, but as it is, this weapon doesn't help bears at all. Getting Rid of It: Sells to vendors for 14g 59s 25c, disenchants into a Void Crystal. There will be other, better weapons you find on your way up the raiding ladder (and while the DPS on this is nice, the high-end Arena gear beats it), but the proc on this weapon is almost enough to keep it anyway.

Name: Weather-beaten Fishing Hat
Type: Rare Cloth Head
Armor: 127
Attributes:

* +40 Stamina, +40 Spirit
* On equip: increased fishing +5. This hat isn't to be confused with the Lucky Fishing Hat, which also gives this fishing bonus, and is available only through turn-ins at the Stranglethorn Fishing Tournament. +5 bonus isn't a huge bonus to fishing at all (your main +bonus comes from your fishing pole), but given that it's an extra +5, it's worth having.
* And here's the good part: on use, attach a lure to your equipped fishing pole that increases fishing by +75 for 10 minutes. With a 10 minute cooldown, you effectively have an infinite lure. Unfortunately, the highest bonus from lures is actually 100, so if you need those extra few points somewhere, you'll still have to shell out for a lure (or, more likely, pick them up from the fishing quest reward). But this hat will come in handy if you're doing any regular fishing for sure.
* Plus, can you say stylin'?

How to Get It: It's a rare (like 1%) drop from the Bag of Fishing Treasures, the reward from the daily fishing quests in Shattrath or Dalaran. So basically all you've got to do is fish a lot and get lucky. Fortunately, Blizzard just buffed the daily fishing quest -- it now sometimes gives a Dalaran cooking award, which is a big help if you're going for that hat.

And this is a great time to mention something we heard at BlizzCon as well. Blizzard is working on tuning up fishing, and they mentioned Animal Crossing as an influence. They said that likely, you'll see a fish in the water and decide whether or not you want to go after it, and then you'll throw your lure in and have to watch as the fish does or doesn't decide to bite it. Does that sound more fun? Maybe not, but Blizzard has said they specifically want to bring more fun into fishing and all of the other professions soon. Should be interesting to see.

Getting Rid of It: You'll want to save it, because even though the regular stats may not be that great, odds are you'll have to wait quite a while until another fishing hat option rolls around again. But just in case they do implement that Animal Crossing thing, and you hate it so much you want to quit fishing and burn all of your gear, you can sell it off for 2g 54s 90c, or disenchant it into a Large Prismatic Shard, with a small chance of a Void Crystal.

Name: Dirk of the Night Watch
Type: Epic One-hand Dagger
Damage/Speed: 200-301 / 1.40 (178.9 DPS)
Attributes:

* +52 Agility, +52 Stamina
* 1737 Feral attack power, for you feral types
* Improves hit rating by 37, haste rating by 22, and attack power by 62.
* Also has a yellow socket (probably to throw a little extra AP in there), with a +8 AP socket bonus
* Not a bad dagger at all -- it's hardly the best in the entire game, though for the challenge (see below), it's definitely respectable. It's a one-hand, too, so it can sit proudly in your left hand (every player in Warcraft is right-handed -- have you noticed that?) while a mainhand fills out the rest of your weapon stats.
* And just in case you didn't catch it, the style and name is a reference to those folks in Duskwood. Though the Russian action movie is very awesome as well.

How to Get It: This baby drops from the new raid -- Lord Jaraxxus is an Eredar who's accidentally summoned into the middle of the big Argent Tournament testing grounds (just like those Gnome Warlocks, screwing up the Rituals of Summoning), and you've got to take him down to prove your worth to assault Icecrown with the rest of the forces. Finish off Jaraxxy (as we like to call him) on the 10-man version, and then win the roll on this one against any other dagger stabbers you happen to have in your raid, and the item is yours.

And yes, while it is a nice dagger, it's not particularly top of the line -- if you poke around in the 25-man raids and Ulduar, you can probably find something a little nicer. But given that it's only the 10-man version of ToC, and given that most of the bosses in there (at least outside of their hard modes) are pushovers for almost any guild that's at least seen Ulduar, this dagger's probably a little easier to get. Good luck.

Getting Rid of It: Sells for a whopping 23g 35s 13c and still only disenchants into an Abyss Crystal.

Name: Cowl of Sheet Lightning Type: Epic Cloth Head Armor: 244 Attributes: * +67 Stamina, +68 Intellect * Meta and a Yellow socket, with a socket bonus of +9 spell power * Improves Haste rating by 48, and spellpower by 85 * Restores 15 mana per 5 seconds, which is probably the tradeoff for having no spirit at all. But that's also what the gem is for, isn't it? * And "sheet lightning" is a real thing -- it's what happens when a lightning bolt never actually leaves the clouds, like a flashlight under your sheet while you're reading late at night after your parents sent you to bed. We're not quite sure how powerful that is (as a caster, wouldn't you want your spells to actually hit?), but, like this helm, it does look cool. How to Get It: This is one of the first epics you'll likely pick up as a caster -- it drops from the 10-man version of Thaddius in Naxxramas. It's not quite the best helm you'll find (and if you need +hit still, you should probably look elsewhere, though you can put a nice Rigid Autumn's Glow in the socket on this one to help you out). But if you're wandering through 10-man Naxx as a caster these days and need an upgrade, this is a nice one to take. Getting Rid of It: Sells back to vendors for 5g 64s 2c, and disenchants into a Strange Dust. No, I'm only kidding -- like all of the Wrath epics (and all of the items we've been doing lately), this one turns into an Abyss Crystal.

Name: Digested Hand of Power Type: Epic Offhand Hand (Ha!) Damage/Speed: N/A Abilities: * +10 Stamina, +14 Intellect. * Restores 10 mana per 5 seconds. Which isn't great in this day and age, but was pretty nice back at 60, when this thing first came out. But don't worry -- considering that Naxx will be updated, chances are that either the stats will change or that we'll see another version of this one. * Looks like, well, a disembodied, digested hand. And considering who did the digesting, yeah -- that's pretty gross. * But here's what I'd like to know: whose hand is it? How to Get It: Drops from Gluth, the Abomination boss in Naxxaramas. He's not very appetizing at all, though I don't think he's quite as disgusting as the Abominations in the Undead side of Stratholme -- those guys are really gross. Still, Gluth is no pushover. And as you probably already know, Naxxaramas is being retooled to work as one of the first endgame dungeons in Wrath of the Lich King, which means Gluth will likely find new life, and hopefully his loot along with him. Right now, this offhand (Ha! again) gets dropped at around 15%, though of course we have no idea how the new version of the loot will work. Getting Rid of It: Sells for 9g 13s 52c, and disenchants into a Nexus Crystal (remember those?). Here's hoping we'll see this baby again in the future -- in fact, let's shake on it.

Name: Dirk of the Night Watch
Type: Epic One-hand Dagger
Damage/Speed: 200-301 / 1.40 (178.9 DPS)
Attributes:

* +52 Agility, +52 Stamina
* 1737 Feral attack power, for you feral types
* Improves hit rating by 37, haste rating by 22, and attack power by 62.
* Also has a yellow socket (probably to throw a little extra AP in there), with a +8 AP socket bonus
* Not a bad dagger at all -- it's hardly the best in the entire game, though for the challenge (see below), it's definitely respectable. It's a one-hand, too, so it can sit proudly in your left hand (every player in Warcraft is right-handed -- have you noticed that?) while a mainhand fills out the rest of your weapon stats.
* And just in case you didn't catch it, the style and name is a reference to those folks in Duskwood. Though the Russian action movie is very awesome as well.

How to Get It: This baby drops from the new raid -- Lord Jaraxxus is an Eredar who's accidentally summoned into the middle of the big Argent Tournament testing grounds (just like those Gnome Warlocks, screwing up the Rituals of Summoning), and you've got to take him down to prove your worth to assault Icecrown with the rest of the forces. Finish off Jaraxxy (as we like to call him) on the 10-man version, and then win the roll on this one against any other dagger stabbers you happen to have in your raid, and the item is yours.

And yes, while it is a nice dagger, it's not particularly top of the line -- if you poke around in the 25-man raids and Ulduar, you can probably find something a little nicer. But given that it's only the 10-man version of ToC, and given that most of the bosses in there (at least outside of their hard modes) are pushovers for almost any guild that's at least seen Ulduar, this dagger's probably a little easier to get. Good luck.

Getting Rid of It: Sells for a whopping 23g 35s 13c and still only disenchants into an Abyss Crystal.

Name: Armageddon Type: Epic Two-hand Sword Damage/Speed: 554-831 / 3.40 (203.7 DPS) Attributes: * First, just look at that thing. This is clearly a sword that, when swung in an arcward manner, brings all sorts of death and destruction. * +101 Strength, and +108 Stamina, which is (definitely not the first weapon ever, but) the first weapon I've seen that has two triple-digit buffs. * Improves crit strike rating by 58, and haste rating by 100 * This weapon is for anyone who wants to do melee damage (and even for you Death Knights with your crazy two-hand tanking) and can wield a giant two-hander. Warriors especially. * And speaking of Warriors, the sword isn't unique at all. So yes, if you have specced Titan's Grip, you can dual wield two of these things at the same time. Nuts? Yes. But wait until you see a Gnome do it. How to Get It: Drops from the chest of the Four Horseman in Heroic Naxxramas. So yes, you'll have to go to the endgame to pick this one up. But the good news is that now's the time to do it -- Naxx is being farmed more than pumpkin patches in mid-October, so chances are you can pick one up one of these weeks. Win the roll against other two-hand wielders of destruction (Hunters, seriously, don't even try), and the sword is yours. Getting Rid of It: Sells back to vendors for 24g 76s 82c, though you won't be getting rid of it until Ulduar, and even then, just look at it! This is one for the bank. Will also, in case you don't have a drooling Fury Warrior in your raid, disenchant into an Abyss Crystal.

Name: Dragonheart Flameshield Type: Epic Shield Armor: 4872 (122 Block) Abilities: * +19 Stamina, +21 Intellect, which pushes this shield a little bit more than usual towards PvP. * Increases damage and healing by up to 23. Which ain't bad. There are lots of better shields out there, but for where this drops (it's late Karazhan gear), that's a respectable amount of SD. * +7 mana per 5 seconds, which is where this shield really shines. It's a very nice shield for elemental Shamans, and Paladins and Resto Shamans can use it also, as long as they've got beefed up stats in other areas. Again, this is husky loot -- if you're working up to Black Temple, it will get replaced. But any elemental Shammy using the Crystal Pulse Shield should be happy to see this one drop. * Did we mention it breathes fire?! * Also, we probably can't mention this shield without mentioning the Mazthoril Honor Shield -- they share a skin (with fire) and basic stats besides the mp5. Either one is a great shield, and we could just as well have done the MHS here this week. And healers around this level should check out the Light-Bearer's Faith Shield as well -- both it and MHS are badge gear. If you're a caster farming Kara and the Heroics, you've got lots and lots of shields to choose from. How to Get It: But the Dragonheart Flameshield requires a little instance running -- it drops from Nightbane in Karazhan. At one point, he was considered the hardest boss in there, but nowadays, there are tons of guilds farming Karazhan like it's corn in Nebraska, so the odds are that you'll have no problem seeing him sooner or later. The droprate is 14% on this one, which isn't bad, and the fact that this is strictly a damage-dealing caster shield means you probably shouldn't have too much trouble claiming it. Pallies and Shamans might do a little fighting over it, but if you go a few runs and don't pick it up, at least you'll have enough badges to grab one of the other shields available. Getting Rid of It: Sells for 7g, 30s, 15c, and disenchants into a Void Crystal. Careful while disenchanting it, though -- you don't want to get BURNED!

Name: Insanity's Grip
Type: Epic Main Hand Fist Weapon
Damage/Speed: 372 - 558 / 2.60 (178.8 DPS)
Attributes:

* +52 Agility, +51 Stamina
* +1736 Feral attack power, if you're of the feral persuasion
* Improves crit strike rating by 34, expertise by 25, and attack power by 80
* As you probably can already tell, this one's made for a Rogue or an Enhancement Shaman -- though of course your results may differ as always, depending on what kinds of content the folks in your guild have done.
* One weird thing with this one: enchants don't show up on it. Probably a problem of how they'd appear rather than an actual bug.
* And of course the "Insanity's Grip" reference is likely about what's happening in Ulduar. But then again, the weapon itself is called "Insanity's Grip," so instead of being gripped by Insanity, you're actually gripping Insanity's Grip. Confusing much?

How to Get It: Drops from the Cache of Innovation, which Mimiron gives up after he's taken out. This item shows up in the normal 25-man mode. so you don't have to worry about hard modes at all -- just finish off the Gnome-y monstrosity and his silly vehicles, win the roll against any other grabby stabby types, and Insanity's Grip is yours. Just don't stare too deeply into that weird light...

Getting Rid of It: Sells to vendors for 22g 75s 98c, and disenchants into an Abyss Crystal, as you'd expect.

Name: Gemmed Wand of the Nerubians Type: Epic Wand (Shadow damage) Damage/Speed: 362 - 674 / 1.80 (287.8 DPS) Abilities: * +27 Stamina, +22 Intellect * Improves hit rating by 18, haste rating by 22, and spell power by 37 * Seems to be the only epic wand in the game with hit rating on it. So if you need that extra HR, it's the wand for you. * Especially good (in fact, probably the best right now) for DPS casters, including Warlocks, Spriests and Mages. * And as you may have noticed by now, it is actually the "ungemmed" wand of Azjol-Nerub's Nerubians -- despite the name, there are no gem sockets on it at all. How to Get It: You can pick it up from 25-man Naxx -- it drops from Anub'Rhekan, a big bad bug in the Arachnid Quarter. Bring him and his Crypt Guards down, win the roll (might not be an easy task, except that most groups go to Arachnid first, so that if this does drop and you need it, there's a good chance everyone else who wants it will already have it), and it becomes the Gemmed Wand of You. Getting Rid of It: Will sell back to vendors for 15g 25s 74c, though you probably won't want to do that until Ulduar shows up on the live realms. And of course if you're in a raid and everyone who needs one already has one, it'll disenchant into an Abyss Crystal.

Name: Black Jelly
Type: Common
FoodDamage/Speed: N/A
Attributes:

* Why are we featuring a food on Phat Loot Phriday? Because it's only the best food in the game right now -- this baby restores 45,000 health and 38,400 mana in one sitting. For both of those, this is the biggest gain you can get.
* Unfortunately, it restores those over a period of one minute, which is a pretty long time to be eating. In fact, the Conjured Mana Strudel (the highest level Mage food) restores exactly half of the health and mana in exactly half the time. In terms of a ratio, this food isn't that great (not to mention it costs way more than a Mage's mana -- see below).
* But on the other hand, if you want to /afk while eating and you have a ton of health and mana to regain, this is the food for you. Plus, right after a long, frustrating boss fight, who doesn't want to sit back and enjoy a nice BJ? Black Jelly, of course.
* And I can already hear you all complaining: "Mike, not everyone can use it!" You're right, there's a level 75 level requirement on it. But other than that, regardless of race, class, or creed, everyone can use it.

How to Get It: It's a cooking recipe, put into the game in patch 3.1. So you've got to hit 400 Cooking skill, and then the chef over at the Argent Tournament Grounds, Bethany Cromwell, will teach it to you. After you get the recipe, you'll just need 3 Borean Man'owar per Black Jelly you want to make. The best place to get those is around the edges of the Borean Tundra, so fly through there on your daily quest rounds, pick up a bunch of Borean jellyfish, and then you'll never have to bother a Mage for food again.

Oh, and while you can pick up the recipe at 400, it goes green at 412 and gray at 425. So if you're leveling cooking up right now, it's probably not a bad thing to make to get those skill points, as you'll always be able to use the item as food later on.

Getting Rid of It: You can sell it on the AH for a relatively nice price (for a lot more than you can sell a Conjured Mana Strudel, I'll tell you that), or you can give it away to vendors for 2s 23c.

Name: Demise Type: Epic Two-hand Mace Damage/Speed: 522 - 784 / 3.50 (186.6 DPS) Attributes: * +90 Strength, +103 Stamina * Improves hit rating by 49, which is excellent -- melee can almost always benefit from more hit * And improves haste rating by 89 * Works well for Death Knights or any other two-hand wielders who want to do a lot of DPS. It's not actually best-in-slot, as there are other two-hand weapons that exist in the game that will probably do better. But if it drops while you need a nice upgrade, it's definitely a nice upgrade. * Plus, the name is cool. This is actually an upgrade from the old Naxx's Might of Menethil, and while some people (probably Alliance) like the old name better, I prefer Demise. How to Get It: You still pick it up in Naxxramas, but now it drops from Heigan the Unclean. And yes, that's the dance boss. The good news is that even if you can't survive it (I've been having trouble -- the lag usually has me behind where I'm supposed to be), there's probably some folks in your raid that can. So ride right along with those guys, wait for this one to drop, and then win the roll against anyone else who wants to swing around a giant mace. (Or two, I guess, if you happen to be a Warrior.) Getting Rid of It: Sells off to vendors for a whopping 24g 41s 3c, and disenchants, as with all of the other epics at the current endgame, into an Abyss Crystal. We've been saying that a lot lately -- maybe next week we'll do a husky loot item. As always if you have any suggestions, throw them in the comments below.

Name: Gadgetstorm Goggles Type: Epic Mail Headpiece Armory: 726 Abilities: * +28 Stamina * A meta and blue socket, with a socket bonus of +5 spell damage and healing * Requires Engineering 350 to wear -- if you lose your Engineering skill for some reason, you won't be able to wear these anymore. See "How to Get It" below. * On equip: improves spell hit rating by 12, spell crit rating by 40, and increases damage and healing up to 55. Pretty sweet for a helm. * Also on equip: shows the location of all gas clouds on the minimap, very useful if you've got a mote extractor (and if you're Engineering at this level you should). * And on use, allows you to see into the distance. This is similar to the Shaman Farseeing spell -- only really useful in certain instances, but kind of a little added bonus to wearing the goggles. * Very good gear for caster Shaman Engineers, which admittedly is a small group. But Blizzard catering to historically ignored gear specs like this is good to see. How to Get It: You've got to be an Engineer to make and wear these -- they are trainable from the regular Engineer trainer at around level 350, and you need to be 350 to actually make them. Total ingredient list is pretty steep: thirty Knothide Leather, 120 Adamantite ore, six Khorium ore, a Primal Fire, forty-eight Fel Iron ore, thirty-two Eternium ore, two Living Rubies, and one Primal Nether, which will run you a few hundred gold just picking them up off the AH. Not to mention the costs of actually leveling up Engineering, although there are tons of costs and advantages to leveling up any manufacturing profession anyway. But get the skill, train the recipe, grab the mats, and the Goggles are yours. In my humble opinion, it's one of the cooler-looking crafted helms out there, too. Assimilate or die! Getting Rid of It: Sells to vendors for 5g 83s 63c, and of course with the Engineering requirement on it, it's BoP. Does disenchant into a Void Crystal however. But it'd be an expensive Void Crystal.

Name: Edge of Agony
Type: Epic Two-Hand Sword
Damage/Speed: 651 - 977 / 3.50 (232.6 DPS)
Attributes:

* +112 Agility, +92 Stamina
* Improves haste by 62, attack power by 183, and armor penetration by 86. Note that these are the stats for the 10-man normal item (Trial of the Crusader drops are pretty confusing actually). The 10-man Heroic version has a better version of this, but with the same name and graphic.
* Blue socket with a +4 armor penetration rating socket bonus.
* Also, this sword only drops when it's Horde running the instance -- Alliance get Reckoning, which is the same sword with a different graphic. So yes, there are actually four different versions of this sword in the game -- normal and heroic for Alliance, and normal and heroic for Horde. Sheesh.
* Plus, just look at it. Those runes aren't just for the death knight above -- that sword just looks amazing. Alliance is a little too holy for my tastes, but this thing really does look like it could cause some agony.
* Hunter weapon, kthxbye.

How to Get It: It drops from Fjola Lightbane (as I said before, in 10-man normal or heroic if you want the heroic version), one of the Twin Val'kyrs in the Trial of the Crusader. Word out of the instance is that the fight is pretty tame (in fact, the whole instance is pretty tame, we hear), so if you're guild is already raiding Ulduar, you should be able to run down the bosses pretty easily. Finish off the twins, loot this from Fjola (pronounced "Fah-jola," of course), win the roll as a hunter against all of those greedy death knights, and the sword is yours.

Getting Rid of It: Sells back to vendors for 29g 40s 7c or disenchants into an Abyss Crystal. Odds are that, unless you're running the 25-man version of ToC, you'll probably be using this until at least Icecrown. It's a nice sword.

Name: Jaina's Signet Ring Type: Uncommon Ring Damage/Speed: N/A Attributes: * +3 Strength, +7 Stamina * This ring is actually more notable for what it isn't than what it is. It's more or less the final reward in the Missing Diplomat questline, which spans ten Alliance levels from 28 to 38. And yet, after traversing half the world and uncovering a gigantic mystery, all you get is some XP, a nice chunk of reputation, and this little ring. Unfortunately, most players are of the opinion (with good reason, if you ask me), that a piddly little ring like this probably isn't worth all of the trouble. This is probably one of the quests Jeff Kaplan would probably say wasn't quite done correctly. * But it is a fun quest, and it does have some nice significance to the lore: it basically covers the backstory of why the King of Stormwind was (previously) missing from the game. And it brings you into direct contact with none other than Jaina Proudmoore, a fan favorite character who's got quite a backstory with our current Dark Lord (and who we'll probably be seeing more of soon). Which begs the question: why is Jaina's ring, a signet ring of a legendary Mage, equipped with Strength and Stamina? Maybe that's why she's giving it away to you. * This actually used to be the last reward in the Missing Diplomat quest, but actually, with the Dustwallow revamp a few patches ago (which I'm playing right now and which you should check out if you ever level a character from 30-40 again), there is more to the story. After this quest, you move on to another chain, which eventually reveals exactly who the Missing Diplomat was and how exactly he went missing. That culminates in a better final scene with Jaina, and a few much nicer rewards. * But those of us who leveled up before the revamp will always remember Jaina's Signet Ring, one of the biggest let-downs in quest rewards so far. If you happen to come upon it with your alt, you might as well keep it around as a reminder for Blizzard on how do to quests incorrectly. How to Get It: Whoops, we already told you that -- it's from the Missing Diplomat quest line. The whole line actually begins around level 28 in Stormwind. It's a long and arduous series of quests, and you can't do it all at once (it takes ten levels, which is another thing Kaplan said Blizzard shouldn't ever do), but it's worth doing for the lore -- pick up the quest when you can, and you'll likely end up traveling past all of the questgivers anyway. Getting Rid of It: Rings are still somewhat hard to come by at this level, so if you don't have one on already, you might as well equip it. But if you're a caster and you already have two rings, you can sell it back to vendors for 46s 30c. And it'll disenchant into a Vision Dust or a Greater Mystic Essence.

Name: Marrowstrike Type: Epic Polearm Damage/Speed: 570-856 / 3.50 (203.7 DPS) Attributes: * +100 Agility, +95 Stamina, +2084 Feral AP, if you're into that * Yellow socket (nice for +Hit gems, though you can put whatever you want in there) with a +4 Agility socket bonus * Improves crit strike rating by 53, attack power by 146, and armor penetration by 57 * Item level 213 puts it right in line with Heroic Naxx and right under regular Ulduar, though this baby is available from a 5-man, the new Trial of the Champion. In short, it's in there so you can jump up a few levels and get with the rest of the program. Why you been slacking on your gear, man? * Oh wait, what? I got this last night and it was a huge upgrade for me? So I'm the slacker? Ah. I see. Never mind then. How to Get It: Yup, it's available in the Heroic 5-man Trial. There is one hitch: it drops from the Argent Confessor's cache, that new boss that summons up "memories" of past bosses (from Hogger to Hakkar). She's on a random draw with Eadric the Pure, so if you see him, you'll have to run it again. But if you get her, she's fairly easy to bring down, and then all you've got to do is hope this drops and win the roll against any other Hunters who've been slacking off on their main hand. And once you do get it, don't forget to socket and enchant it as well. If you're lucky with the Fishing dailies, there's a nice epic gem in there, otherwise you'll have to visit your local JC. Getting Rid of It: If you're doing any amount of raiding, you'll probably get rid of it pretty soon -- even if your guild is still doing 25-man Eye of Eternity or 10-man Ulduar, there's an upgrade in both of those places, and if you're doing any of the new content at all, there's plenty of upgrades to be found. When you're done, you can sell it off to vendors for 26g 13s 41c, or disenchant it into an Abyss Crystal.

Yo' dawg. Blizz heard you like heals, so they put a heal on your heal so you can heal while you heal. Was that a traumatic sentence to read? Sorry, couldn't help it, but I'll claim that I dropped that meme in honor of today's Phat Loot Phriday weapon: Trauma. Not only are the stats on this one-handed mace pretty sexy, but it was the beneficiary of a recent fix. (The heal it procs was only affecting folks in the same group as the person who received the heal, not anyone else in the raid.) Also? It's totally a bunch of skulls with horns lashed together. While the thread in which Ghostcrawler posted derailed into general discussion about Blizzard's QA, let's not allow that kind of tangent-hopping to happen here! Without further ado, Trauma: Name: Trauma Type: Main Hand Mace Damage: 112 - 359 Damage, 130.9 damage per second Speed: 1.80 Attritbutes: * 53 Stamina * 53 Intellect * Increases spell power by 741. * Each time your spells heal a target you have a chance to cause the target of your heal to heal themselves and friends within 10 yards for 217 each sec for 6 sec.

Name: Ancient Hakkari Manslayer
Type: Epic One-hand Axe
Damage/Speed: 69 - 130 / 2.00 (49.8 DPS)
Attributes:

* This is how you can tell this weapon is old-school: it has just one bit of green text, and that text is "Steals 48-54 life from target enemy."
* Which doesn't, on its face, sound quite that nice. But at the time this weapon was current (ye olde patch 1.7), that was a hot proc. Because the proc actually scaled along with spell damage -- if you had 150 spell damage, and this proc hit, you wounded the enemy for 150 shadow damage, while healing yourself with same.
* Unfortunately, the proc didn't hit that often, so this weapon was more of a weird equip for Enhancement Shamans rather than a standard find for anyone (Warriors and Rogues didn't find it doing that much for them). And of course even if you have 1200 spell power nowadays, it won't scale any more, definitely not at level 80.
* But then again, this was the kind of proc we don't see much these days -- weapons are so loaded with stats and the balance is so precarious that a weird proc like this, especially one that scales with the rest of your gear (what an idea!) is out of place. Maybe the upcoming stats revamp will help that.

How to Get It: This baby dropped from one of my favorite bosses in one of my favorite raids in the game: Hakkar in Zul'Gurub. You had to go around the troll city and take out all of the animal aspects one-by-one, and then head to the plateau in the middle and bring down the Blood God himself. Once a guild brought him down (and our downing in my guild is one of my favorite memories in the game), this one dropped at about a 6% drop rate. Odds are that unless your guild had a lot of experimenting Shamans, you could probably get it for a song, or at least just a few DKP.

Getting Rid of It: Sells back to vendors for 7g 38s 11c, or disenchants into a Nexus Crystal.

Name: Shroud of Chieftain Ner'zhul Type: Epic Mail Head Armor: 902 Abilities: * In order to save space, I'm going to give you the lore behind this helm while I tell you its stats. So Ner'zhul was an old Chieftain/Shaman of the Orcs, and since this is Warcraft, he was powerhungry and it drove him to make deals with demons. Plus his helm had +48 Stamina and +41 Intellect, which actually made it nice for PvP as well. * It also had a Yellow and Meta socket, and a socket bonus of 2 mp5. Ner'zhul didn't exactly knowingly make deals with demons, though -- he did what he thought was right, and aligned with Kil'jaeden, who he thought was actually a helpful "ancient ancestor." * But realizing Kil'jaeden is evil is actually as obvious as the 33 spell haste rating and 13mp5 on this helm, and eventually Ner'zhul did. It was too late, though -- Gul'dan took over, and Ner'zhul only barely saved the Frostwolf Orcs from drinking Mannoroth's blood. * Kil'jaeden wasn't thrilled with that, obviously, and stuck Ner'zhul in the Frozen Throne as the Lich King, until a young man named Arthas Menethil came along, shattered the Frozen Throne, and combined his bad self with Ner'zhul's in order to become a crazy powerful being (with lots of Wrath, which we'll see sooner or later). * And oh yeah, the helm's got 134 healing and 45 spell damage on it. Ner'zhul was originally an Orc Chieftain and resto Shaman, so this helm came from back when he was still supposedly a good guy. But interestingly enough, he still kind of is -- both he and Arthas slaughtered a lot of people thinking they were doing the right thing, and both he and Arthas were corrupted by the deals they made for power. Maybe they belong in that Frozen Throne together. How to Get It: This is an interesting piece of loot that supposedly comes from the Sunwell. As of this writing, it hasn't been in player hands yet, but it actually comes from another helm, the Cowl of Gul'dan, which reportedly drops from Kil'jaeden. Since Killy Jay hasn't been killed yet, we're not sure about this, but this is what an "ancient ancestor" told us. Blizzard is trying something new with the Sunwell Loot -- if you don't like the loot you get or want to switch it out for another piece of gear, you can bring the old helm to a Transmuter, along with a Sunmote (that can be obtained from trash inside Sunwell Plateau), and they'll transmute the helm for you. So get the Cowl of Gul'dan (drop rate unknown), add a Sunmote in there, take it to the Transmuter, and voila, you've got (what's probably a replication of) the Shroud of Chieftain Ner'hzul. Cake, right? Getting Rid of It: Oh, you won't, not for a while anyway. All of the non-raiders will be switching out their casual epics for greens at level 71, but a helm like this you'll hold on to for a while. It does disenchant into a Void Crystal, though -- at least we assume it does. The ancient ancestor was unclear about that one.

Name: Black Ice Type: Epic Polearm Damage/Speed: 570 - 856 / 3.50 (203.7 DPS) Attributes: * +108 Agility, +88 Stamina * 2084 Feral Attack Power, if you're into that sort of thing, and you probably are -- this is one of the best cat DPS weapons for Feral Druids * Improves hit rating by 72 (which is just beautiful -- if you haven't ever looked into the pleasures of stacking hit rating up to the cap, do so right now, your DPS will thank you), haste rating by 58, and attack power by 134. The AP isn't actually that big of an upgrade above other weapons right around this level, but the extra +hit is really what makes this weapon pop for Hunters and "cat durids." * Make sure to enchant this sucker as well -- Massacre is usually a nice one for this type of thing. We haven't talked much about enchanting gear in this column, actually (I'll try to do it more in the future), but yes, anytime you get a good solid epic like this one into one of your equipment slots, you should come up with some money to get an enchant on it. * Oh, and as you can see above, it certainly is very pretty. And huge -- the good thing about wielding polearms at endgame is that everyone knows you're carrying one when you walk by. Swords and maces can get lost when sheathed, but this thing is gigantic. * Don't confuse it, of course, with the Death Knight talent of the same name (are there any other gear/talent homonyms in the game?). Or with the dangerous road condition. How to Get It: This one comes from 10-man Malygos, which is fairly easily pugged lately, so you can probably get a run in there this weekend. Down Malygos (you'll have to do some drake-riding, which is always annoying fun), and be a needy Hunter or Feral Druid if the raid is forgiving, win the roll, and this baby is yours. It actually appears in Alextrasza's Gift, a little cache that shows up after the fight is finished. Getting Rid of It: You probably won't, if you want to keep that +hit -- there may be better DPS polearms out there, but none with that extra hit, which is extremely helpful. If you do decide to ditch it, vendors will give you 24g 85s 67c, and you can disenchant it into a (guess!) Abyss Crystal.

Name: Heroic Judicator's Chestguard Type: Epic Plate Chestpiece Armor: 1983 Armor (which is as good as it gets on that state for Plate chests) Abilities: * +78 Stamina, +22 Intellect * Three sockets, two blue and a yellow, with a socket bonus of +6 Stamina. Throw a Facet of Eternity or a Splendid Fire Opal in there. * Yup, as you've probably already guessed, this is a chest for a tanking Pally. Not only does it have 29 Defense rating and 44 Dodge rating, but there's a damage and healing bonus on there of 60. * As Prot Pally chests go, this is about as good as you'll get going into Wrath. And those sockets are super helpful, too -- you can up any of the various caps you're trying to hit, or just throw a little extra frosting on the cake if you're already maxed out. How to Get It: Entropius in the Sunwell Plateau drops this one -- he's actually what M'uru comes back as after you kill him (and as we noted very early on, the two have a similar shape, because they're basically two sides of the same being. So finish off M'uru in his weakened state, take out Entropius before his negative energy, like, really bums you out, man, and hope that this drops at a rate of about 10-15%. And be a Paladin, because seriously, nobody else would want this thing anyway. Getting Rid of It: Disenchants into a Void Crystal, and sells back to vendors for 10g 56s 13c. If you've got a Sunmote, you can take this to Yrma in Quel'danas, and she'll give you a Noble Judicator's Chestguard for it (a Healing version of the same gear). And you might want to think about doing that, since the Death Knights are going to take all your tanking roles, amirite?!?

Name: Frostforged Ringhelm
Type: Epic Plate Helmet
Armor: 1925
Attributes:

* +83 Strength, +154 Stamina
* +10 Frost resistance, +10 Shadow resistance. These are on here because this is the updated version of the Tier 1 helm for death knights.
* But wait! I hear you crowing in the comments: "Mike, there is no Tier 1 for Death Knights!" You're exactly right -- death knights weren't around when Onyxia was originally dropping loot in the game, but when Blizzard brought her back, they had to have some loot equivalent to all of these revamped Tier 1 helms that she was dropping. So they put this one in. And then even gave us a nice little nod to the past -- this is an updated version of the old Mugthol's Helm, which was bouncing around as early endgame gear back in the day.
* Meta and a blue socket, standard for headgear, with a +12 Stamina bonus.
* Increases defense rating by 70, parry by 77, and hit rating by 59. In other words, Death Knight tanking helm. Enjoy it.

How to Get It: You have to drop the new Onyxia, which is much the same as the old Onyxia, though it requires 10 or 25 level 80s and there are a few more adds than there used to be (though Deep Breath is much easier -- you can read the full guide here). Down her, win the roll against any other DKs on the helmet, and it's yours.

Getting Rid of It: Sells back to vendors for 12g 28s 34c, and disenchants into the usual Abyss Crystal. It's not really a top of the line helmet (there are better helms to wear in the higher instances), but it's a nice one, especially if this is a death knight alt you're playing and you happen to have a fondness for vanilla WoW.

Name: Death's Bite Type: Epic Two-Hand Axe Damage/Speed: 554-831 / 3.40 (203.7 DPS) Attributes: * +101 Strength, +114 Stamina * Improves hit rating by 62, and crit strike rating by 90. * Overall, an excellent weapon for anyone who wants to wield a big axe for DPS, specifically Paladins, Death Knights, and oh yeah, Warriors. * And of course, with Titan's Grip, Warriors especially like this one. This is the kind of weapon where just one is scary, and two is horrifying. * Hunters do not want this one. There are much better weapons for you -- while the hit is nice, the lack of Agility means this is for big melee'ers who rely on Strength to kick up damage. How to Get It: Drops from Kel'thuzad in Naxxramas 10-man. Unfortunately, with Glory of the Raider out of the game, your biggest problem might be finding a run -- everyone's heading to Ulduar starting this weekend. But gear like this is still attractive, especially for everyone's "other spec" now, and there'll still be quite a few PuGs in the old citadel (you can only run Ulduar once a week, right?). Get to KT, down him, win the roll against all of the DKs, Pallys, and Warriors who want this one, and it's yours. Getting Rid of It: You might pretty soon -- there are definitely better weapons a little ways up the ladder (but again, with all of the dual specs going around, there's probably lots interesting rolls going on out there). Sells back to vendors for 26g 49s 57c, and will disenchant into an Abyss Crystal.

Name: Verigan's Fist Type: Rare Two-hand Mace Damage/Speed: 65-99 / 3.20 (25.6 DPS) Abilities: * +7 Stamina, +6 Intellect, +12 Spirit. A Paladin hammer of justice if there ever was one, and not just because it's only for Pallies. * The quest you can get it at (see below) is at level 20, and the weapon is so nice for the level it'll easily last you most of the way towards the 30s. There's no two ways about it -- any Paladin poking around midlevel should be wielding this hammer. Unless you're healing all the time, this is the thing to hit bad guys with. As soon as you get it, enchant it, because odds are that you'll keep it for a while. * And it's one of the best quest rewards before 60 -- in my opinion, one of the best for-the-level weapons in the game. How to Get It: You've got to be an Alliance Paladin, which means Human (Update: or Dwarf or Draenei, of course, thanks commenters. But you still have to go to Westfall to run the quest). And at level 20, you'll get a quest called The Tome of Valor from your Paladin trainer, which will take you on a journey to save a lovely lass, and into a few instances for the level to do some weapon material fetching. It's a nice, and fairly simple quest chain, it'll get you not only this sweet weapon, but a nice shield and the Sense Undead ability, and, most importantly, it'll teach you how to be a Paladin and stand up for the Light wherever darkness encroaches (which doesn't include, strangely enough, QQing about ret gear itemization). Blood Elf Pallys have a much easier quest, and can nab the Blood-Tempered Ranseur. But Verigan's Fist is a classic, so we're featuring that one. The Whirlwind Weapon is a good one for Warriors, but that's three different weapons -- no other weapon exemplifies a class, in our humble opinion, as much as this one. Disagree? Sound off in the comments. Getting Rid of It: Sells to vendors for 74s 59c. Disenchants into a Small Glowing Shard. But don't get rid of it -- good Paladins always walk softly and carry a big hammer.

Glorenzelg, High-Blade of the Silver Hand lives on multiple best-in-slot lists. At least, those BIS lists that don't include Shadowmourne and other Heroic content. My favorite aspect of this epic blade is that it's blade from the Silver Hand, which is a more than significant bit of game lore. Since this weapon drops from Arthas, I think it's fairly clear that he somehow had been hoarding it (and other weapons) after having captured the weapon in combat.

Name: Swiftsteel Bludgeon Type: Epic One-hand Mace Damage/Speed: 105-196 / 1.50 (100.3 DPS)Abilities: * Improves hit rating by 19, improves haste by 27, and increases attack power by 40. * This isn't a weapon at the top of anybody's game (especially with the nerf to maces wielded by Rogues in 3.0.2). But it is good as a stopgap, especially for Fury Warriors in the offhand slot trying to spam Execute and needing a fast weapon to do so (at 1.50, this is definitely a fast weapon). * But don't get too angry, commenters -- there are definitely plenty of other weapons to use at this level and above. The only reason you'd really jump on this one is if you're melee DPS in need of a nice Epic mace in Black Temple, and you're not first in line to grab any of the really great ones that come from the bosses. Not everybody gets to wield Warglaives or the Syphon, not right away. How to Get It: Drops from Black Temple trash, and seriously, have you been in there after the patch yet? It's a free-for-all. Blizzard's big solution to having no one see the endgame was to nerf it to oblivion before Wrath so everyone could get in there and get all of the Epic looting out of their system.So round up 24 friends (you'll still need to be at least a little epic before you go in there, don't skimp on the SSC and TK runs), head into BT, and loot the place for all it's worth. Eventually, this one will drop, and if you're a melee-er who needs a mace, win the roll and it's yours. Of course, you can expect it to be replaced in Northrend eventually, but who cares? An epic is an epic, right? Getting Rid of It: Disenchants into a Void Crystal, sells for 14g 1s 84c. Too bad you can't melt it down -- putting all your money into swiftsteel might actually be a pretty good idea in this economy.

Name: The Mischief Maker
Type: Uncommon Consumable
Damage/Speed: N/A
Attributes:

* It's a wand (though not really -- it's just an item you right-click to use up) that will sheep any friendly player or NPC, and unfortunately only in Dalaran. In other words, it's a party favor -- there's no real use to it, but if you happen to see your buddy wandering around Dalaran, you can sheep them for 15 seconds, and then wait for their "wtf" to roll in on guild chat.
* It doesn't work on shapeshifted players at all, nor does it apparently work on game-sensitive NPCs like flight masters or vendors.
* And most disappointing of all, it doesn't actually work on Minigob Manabonk. Which is a bummer (as you can read below, that would be the perfect revenge).
* But as a few seconds of amusement, it does what it's supposed to.

How to Get It: Here's the thing: you can't actually do anything to get it at all. Well, maybe that's not true -- all you have to do to get it is hang around in Dalaran, and wait. Eventually, a weasley little gnome mage will appear, and sheep you for a few seconds, and then run away (giggling, we presume). After that embarrassment, your reward appears in the mailbox -- he sends you a note that basically says, "I played a joke on you -- here's a wand you can use to play it on someone else." And then The Mischief Maker is yours.

Cheap? Silly? Guess what: life is like that sometimes. It's too bad there are all the limitations on this item, though. Maybe we haven't seen the last of Manabonk -- like Griftah (and subsequently Asric and Jadaar), I think he's a few potential appearances away from becoming a fan favorite. We just hope the next mischief he comes up with is a little more mischievous.

Getting Rid of It: Use it. As a consumable, it doesn't sell back to vendors at all, and it won't disenchant, either. So find a friend (or same faction enemy), sheep them, and run away. Giggling, of course.

Name: Soulscribe Type: Epic Unique Main-hand Dagger Damage/Speed: 88-283 / 1.80 (103.3 DPS) Attributes: * +54 Stamina, +49 Intellect. These stats and the name point to Warlocks as the main users of this dagger, but really, given the rest of the stats, almost any caster could get some good use out of this thing. The main thing it's missing is Spirit, so if you count on that, you might want to look elsewhere, but this is Ulduar gear: chances are it's an upgrade no matter who you are. * Improves crit rating by 28 and haste by 48, again both nice for almost anyone. * And improves spellpower by 550. Tasty. * A "scribe," of course, is someone who writes, so a "soulscribe" would be an instrument for writing or erasing souls. Very powerful. How to Get It: Drops from the 25-man Yogg-Saron (in normal mode, not hard mode). So make it to him (good luck with that one), down him and win the roll, and the dagger is all yours. Yes, we're a little early on this one -- most guilds won't be seeing Yoggy for a few more weeks yet, at least, much less finishing him off. But we figured that if we're going to start up doing Ulduar gear, we might as well start with something good. Think of it as the carrot at the end of your guild's raids through Ulduar. Getting Rid of It: You probably won't until Icecrown, if our suspicions are correct. While there may be another 25-man raid in the "secret" content patch, we're guessing it'll be more of a daily/reputation/5-man content patch kind of thing rather than a full in-game raid, which means that the next big round of raiding gear will likely come from Icecrown. But when those days come, you'll be able to vendor this for 22g 58s 82c, or disenchant it into an Abyss Crystal.

Name: Ironsoul Type: Two-hand Epic Mace Damage/Speed: 594 - 892 / 3.50 (212.3 DPS) Attributes: * +105 Strength, +126 Stamina * Improves crit strike rating by 69 and armor penetration rating by 84. * Obviously a melee mace -- anyone who likes to hit things with a big piece of metal will enjoy using this (Paladins, Warriors, Death Knights, and even Shamans, though you all are probably dual wielding). And yes, it is a mace -- while it looks more like an axe than anything else,the experts in the Wowhead comments say this is a flanged mace, designed to penetrate armor rather than provide bashing damage. It's sharp, it's scary, and it's big. What more do you want? How to Get It: Drops from Flame Leviathan, the first boss in the new Ulduar instance. He's the vehicle boss, so it might take a little learning by your guild to figure out how to drive things, but once you do, he should go down pretty easy. Drop the boss, win the roll (which probably shouldn't be too hard -- there are really only so many two-hander DPSers out there, so odds are you'll be saving this thing from D/E rather than fighting anyone else for it), and the item is yours. Getting Rid of It: If you're really sold on swinging around a two-hander, you might not for about halfway through Ulduar. But if you do decide to ditch it, it'll sell for 26g 82s 97c, and will disenchant into an Abyss Crystal.

Name: Goblin Rocket Launcher Type: Rare Engineering Trinket Damage/Speed: N/A Abilities: * +45 Stamina, which marks this thing as a PvP trinket, basically. * On use: Fires a powerful rocket at the enemy that does 906 to 1440 damage and stuns them for 3 seconds. Which is as awesome as it sounds -- the rocket blasts out of the gun, flies with a firey trail towards the target and then boom. It can also crit, and we're told it's affected by haste and crit, so the better your specs, the better it'll do. * There's a big five second cast, however, so it's better to use this either when enemies are just coming into range, or when they're leaving it. It does also generate threat, so theoretically it could be used as a pulling tool. The two-minute cooldown would make that hard to do often (not to mention that anyone tanking endgame probably wouldn't want to waste a trinket slot with this), but if you want to pull with flash, there you go. * There is one drawback -- firing it will do a quick knockdown on you, so you'll need a second or two to get up. Hitting this thing under pressure is a bad idea. But if you've got one more enemy to tag and aren't getting hit yourself, it's a very nice ranged attack. * It's a fun little toy, too. There's no limit on how many time you fire it (just the cooldown), so you can hit it every two minutes for some extra ranged damage. How to Get It: As you might imagine for something this awesome, the requirements are going to be big. You'll need engineering 350 to make equip and use it, and you'll need to be a Goblin engineer (the recipe just comes from Goblin engineering trainers in the Barrens and Tanaris). You ready for the entire recipes list? Broken down into their component parts, you'll need 120 Adamantite Ore, six Khorium Ore, 24 Fel Iron Ore, eight Eternium Ore, two Thorium Ore, two Arcane Crystals (which means two Arcanite Transmutes), two Ironweb Spider Silk, seventy Motes of Fire, and sixty Motes of Earth. So either you'll be grinding out quite a bit, or you'll be spending a goodly amount on the AH for all that stuff. But get it all together, make the Rocket Launcher, and start shooting, Tex. Getting Rid of It: This is pretty much an item you keep, even if just for kicks. Vendors will only give you 2g 25s for it. It is BoE, so you can try to sell it on the AH, but considering the grocery list of mats you'll need to buy or otherwise find, and the high requirements to actually use the thing, it's very, very unlikely you'll find a market willing to pay what it's worth. Sell Mechanical Squirrels instead.

Name: Arcanite Reaper Type: Rare (yes, it's not even Epic) Two-Hand Axe Damage/Speed: 153-256/3.80 (53.8 DPS) Abilities: * +13 Stamina (this was before resilience was introduced to the game), +62 Attack Power (which is still substantial, but back then was phenomenal) * And the main reason the Reaper was so nuts was because of it's slow attack, but high damage. Back in the day, before things got all normalized, Mortal Strike was the shiznit. It was an instant attack based on weapon damage, and since this weapon's damage was so high, pushed forward by the Attack Power bonus, Warriors basically owned PvP back around early level 60 times. In fact, you might even be able to trace the current population of Warriors back to this weapon alone, and for that reason, it's earned not only a place in Warriors' hearts, but in Blizzard's culture as well. * I should also mention Shaman and Windfury weapon here, because back before all the changes were made to Windfury, and even before Shammies could dual wield, one Shaman with Windfury and this weapon could one-shot almost anyone. Nowadays, everything's mitigated, with nerfs and resilience and all the changes to endgame and Arena PvP. But back then, the Arcanite Reaper ruled the roost. * Which explains why it's everywhere -- the Arcanite Ripper is a direct rip, if you will, off the old weapon, and brought many a tear to a Warrior's eye when it returned to the game as a guitar. The skin has also been reused a few times, as with the Spinal Reaper. And in the next expansion, there'll be an heirloom item bound to account called the Bloodied Arcanite Reaper, so all of your two-handed melee characters can relive the old days as they level up. * Oh, and take a close look at that summoned Felguard running towards you while the Warlock's DoTs are ripping you apart -- he's carrying an old Arcanite Reaper as well. How to Get It: Here's another reason why the Reaper was such a big deal -- not only was it the best weapon to have for any class that wielded two-hand melee and counted on Attack Power, but it was craftable and BoE, so pretty much anyone who wanted one could get one. The plans drop from Bannok Grimaxe, a rare spawn found in Lower Blackrock Spire, which is actually an instance that's getting some traffic nowadays with not one but two vanity pets and an achievement in there. You can probably solo to him without too much trouble, but the drop is the problem -- it's only around 6%, so you've got to be lucky. But maybe you can find a Blacksmith with the plans already -- in that case, you'll need 20 Arcanite Bars, six Enchanted Leathers (made by an Enchanter from a Rugged Leather and a Lesser Eternal Essence), and two Dense Grinding Stones. Not a tall order, actually (yet another reason why this weapon was so popular). Melt it all together, and voila, you've got a classic weapon. Won't do much good these days, as mechanics and upgrades have rendered the once great Reaper into a not very attractive blue. But don't tell any grizzled old Warriors that -- they'll make you remember the old days whether you like it or not. Getting Rid of It: Sells to vendors for 6g 57s 36c. Disenchants into a Large Brilliant Shard. Has killed more Mages than you'll ever meet, consarnit!

Name: Northern Barrier Type: Epic Shield Armor: 7890 Armor (221 Block) Attributes: * +42 Strength, +94 Stamina * Increases defense rating by 63, which is just awesome. * And increases hit and expertise rating by 28 each. Which doesn't just make this a great tank shield, it makes this a terrific threat-generating shield. It doesn't have any extra block rating on it (though the block there by itself is terrific), so won't help as much with damage mitigation as some other shields might. But when you absolutely positively need to keep aggro, accept no motherf#$*ing substitutes. How to Get It: It appears in the Cache of Winter after Hodir is defeated in Heroic (25-man) mode. But wait -- it's Bind on Equip, which means that even if your guild isn't making their way through Heroic Ulduar, you can still pick it up, given that a) no one in the raid actually wants it, and b) you've got enough money. In fact, you'll probably need a lot of money -- people aren't selling Ulduar epics for cheap. But still, if you've got the cash, and you see it on the AH, go for it. Somebody's gotta finance those big raiding guilds' potion funds, right? And plus, it'll help them buy more potions from me. Thanks! Getting Rid of It: Sells back to vendors for 13g 89s 3c, and disenchants into an Abyss Crystal.

Name: Tattered Hexcloth Sack Type: 20 slot bag Armor: N/A Abilities: * Has 20 slots, holds your stuff. You might laugh that we're including a bag in phat loot, but let this be a lesson to you: the bigger the bags you can get, the better your character will do. The more you can hold, the more money you can make, and the more money you have, the better items you'll have overall, which means your character will be better. The best thing you can do for a character in terms of making money is get bags as big as possible, period. * It looks like Blizzard is topping off the bag space around 20, too -- while there are a few 22-slot bags floating around in Wrath, and there are a few other 20 slot bags just like this one to get, we're not seeing the huge increase in bag space than we saw near the end of the Burning Crusade. Then again, once Wrath has a content patch or two under its belt, maybe we'll see bag slots jump up again. * Plus, if you haven't run Zul'Aman yet, you should, it's a great instance. How to Get It: It's a quest item from Promises, Promises, which will take you quickly inside Zul'Aman to retrieve a map. And it's not even a drop -- just waltz into ZA, make your way through the trash to the first boss (any guild that can complete up to Curator in Karazhan can finish off the trash nowadays), and then grab it from the platform to the right of the boss. You can try the bear boss, Nalorakk, while you're there -- he's easy as long as you've got two solid tanks and the healing to back them up -- but you don't need to, as you can sneak past him to grab the quest item. And the other great part is that everyone in the raid with the quest can grab it. Nab the map, head back outside, turn in the quest, and bingo, 20 slot bag. You don't even really need to fight the trash if you've got a friend who's already cleared out the instance -- just join their raid, step inside to get the quest item, and you're done. Of course, since this is so easy to get, you may already have the item (and you should probably get a Sun Touched Satchel as well, since those drop about every other MGT run), but if you don't, now's the time to do it. That way, you can head into Wrath with plenty of bag space for all the new goodies we'll get up there. Getting Rid of It: Like I said, you probably won't for a while -- there are a few bigger bags in the expansion (one craftable, though the mats seem pretty steep to me), and at least until we see another few content patches come down, things will probably stay that way. But if your bank and backpack are full of Gigatiques already, a vendor will give you 5g for it.

Name: Stormedge Type: Epic Two-hand Axe Damage/Speed: 594 - 892 / 3.50 (212.3 DPS) Abilities: * Um, it's badass? * +106 Strength, +125 Stamina. Which means this is a straight-up 2h DPS weapon -- the Strength adds a huge damage bonus to Warriors, Death Knights, Feral Druids, and Paladins by giving them a +212 attack power just from the weapon alone, not to mention other places Strength is used. Shamans also get a buff -- not quite as big, but still nice. * But here's the real kicker: improves hit rating by 96. Warriors with 3/3 precision need 164 hit to reach their hit cap, and this weapon, by itself, adds 96 of that. That's wild. It means that you can sacrifice hit in other places for more stats there. * Also increases your armor penetration rating by 74. I am too low on the theorycrafting ladders to have a clear idea of what Armor Penetration does yet, but I do know that it means your attacks hit as if your opponent was wearing less armor. So more damage for you. The always knowledgeable Matthew Rossi tells me: "It helps you stack up a sizeable ArP, with 2.93% reduction in just a weapon slot." Which is good, right? * And speaking of Rossi, this weapon is not unique, which means that yes, you Titan's Grip-obsessed Warriors can wield them two at a time. Which is probably where all of that Strength comes from -- carrying two of these around is a workout in itself. How to Get It: Like another weapon we've profiled lately it drops from Hodir's cache of winter, the pile of goodies you get for defeating him in normal mode up in Ulduar. Finish him off, win the roll against all of the other 2h damagemongers trying to get their hands on this one, and the weapon is yours. Easy, right? Getting rid of it: Sells back to vendors for 27g 82s 7c, and if you really want to ruin a Warrior's day, you can disenchant it in front of him into an Abyss Crystal. As a consolation, you can tell him that there are better weapons in the game anyway -- after you've gotten Stormedge, try getting Aesir's Edge next.

Name: Sawed-off Hand Cannon Type: Rare Gun Damage/Speed: 208-386 / 3.10 (95.8 DPS) Abilities: * +17 Agility, +27 Stamina. Not too shabby at all. * And it even gives you +18 hit rating, which is extra nice (by 78 you've hopefully already reached your hit cap, whatever that is, but putting it on the gun and off of your other gear will allow for a little more flexibility. It's an all-round good gun on your way up to 80 -- there will certainly be better but for the rep, which you'll probably get sleepwalking through Howling Fjord, it's a new reward. How to get it: This is rep reward, which means you've got to hit revered with the Alliance Vanguard, and then it's purchaseable from the quartermasters of the faction, one in Howling Fjord's Valguarde, and another in Borean Tundra's Valiance Keep. To rep up with the Vanguard, you can do quests for them (which is why we're telling you about this now), and later in the game, you should be able to either champion their tabard, or pick up rep from instance runs (possibly Utgarde Keep Heroics, but we're not quite sure about that). At any rate, do all the quests you can find in the starting area, and Revered won't be too far off. Once you've got the rep you can get the gun for 46g 61s 1c, pocket change at the level. And yes, Horde, this weapon is Alliance only, but the Horde Expedition have a bow as a rep reward that is almost identical. So if you need a ranged weapon with a nice bit of Agility and Stamina on it, there's one rep to work towards. Getting rid of it: You likely will within the first few raids at 80, but until then it'll give you a nice foundation to begin building up your endgame gear (plus, look how huge it is). Vendors will buy it back for 9g 32s 20c, or it'll disenchant into a dream shard.

Name: Porcelain Bell Type: Poor Salvage Item Damage/Speed: N/A Attributes: * Embellished with a figure reaching toward a swan. This is a grey piece of vendor trash, probably the worst quality item we've ever featured here. * Wait a minute Mike, I can hear you saying, this is supposed to be Phat Loot Phriday. Why are you showing us a piece of vendor junk? Because, my friends, in the eyes of the vendors, this little bell is worth more than the Warglaives of Azzinoth combined (and you could even throw in Thori'dal, too). Yes, this little bell sells to vendors for... wait for it... 100g. * Indeed. If you're lucky enough to get this out of a bag that smells like fish (see below), congrats, you've gotten a nice gold bonus from Blizzard. This item exists for no reason but to be sold, and when you do sell it, it'll net you a century of gold. * It's BoE (or whatever the equivalent of Poor BoE is) too, so you can give it away or even sell it across the cross-faction AH to move some gold easily. Be careful, though - if you do try to sell it for cheap, there's always the chance that someone else will swoop in and buy it. Or, if you want to be sneaky, you could watch out on the AH for exactly this, and ninja one of these out from underneath traders. Seller beware. How to Get It: Like the Ancient Coin in Burning Crusade, it's an extra gold reward to come out of the Dalaran Fishing Dailies. When you complete the daily, you'll get an extra bundle of fun stuff (and/or junk), and every once in a while, you'll get lucky and get one of these. All the more reason to level up fishing and cooking -- it's easier than ever to do now, too. Getting Rid of It: Sells to vendors for 100g. Haven't you been listening? Doesn't disenchant, and there's no real reason to keep it in the bank. Unless you just have more money than you need, and want to save it for a rainy day (or a nice gift -- I'd like to see one of these in my inbox on my birthday).

Name: Nurturing Touch Type: Epic Wand Damage/Speed: 378-702 / 1.80 (300 DPS) Attributes: * +29 Stamina, +26 Intellect, and +24 Spirit * Improves crit strike rating by 20, and spell power by 39 * Pretty straightforward wand -- nothing too special about it. But it is a nice one, and it's likely an upgrade from anything you've gotten in Naxx or the earlier raid instances. * In fact, the most interesting thing about it is simply cosmetic -- that front part of it rotates in a very Ulduar-esque way, and when you use it to cast, a holy burst shoots out of it. As mana has become more and more prevalent, wands are more and more useless, but if you're raiding at this level and can use this one on your way to hard Ulduar, it's not a bad upgrade to take. How to Get It: Drops from Auriaya, the seventh boss, just after Kolgarn, in normal mode Ulduar. She's a little nutty, and comes with some fun adds to deal with, but she's not too much trouble as long as you can get to her. Get her down, win the roll (obviously Priests and caster healers are probably the best for this weapon, but really, anyone who needs a wand upgrade can probably use it), and it's yours. You'll ditch it by the end of 25-man Ulduar, but still, it looks cool, right? Getting Rid of It: Sells back to vendors for 16g 4s 17c, and disenchants into a Void Crystal. But you might want to keep it -- it almost seems so distinctive it should go with a Hallow's End costume of some kind, but I can't think of what.

Name: Jedoga's Greatring Type: Rare Ring (Unique-Equipped, which means that you can only wear one at a time) Damage/Speed: N/A Abilities: * +22 Agility, +48 Stamina, which means this is probably an upgrade from level 70 gear. As we said the other day, greens aren't upgrading very well, but most blues will usually help you out, and unless you already had rings up above SSC and TK, this one will likely replace yours. * Improves crit strike rating by 18, which isn't actually a lot -- it's almost 1% at level 70, but even less at level 80. Still the ring also increases attack power by 62, which is pretty nice for a ring. * And of course as with all of these leveling items, you'll replace this one eventually (here's an awesome ring from Heroic Gun'Drak). But for leveling, this is a nice ring for Rogues, Hunters, or even some Fury Warriors. How to Get It: Drops from Jedoga Shadowseeker, the third boss in Ahn'kahet, an instance that I'm planning to run this weekend, and you probably are as well. Alex loves the last boss, and I really enjoyed the other Azjol-Nerub instance, so I'm excited to try this one. Jedoga is apparently a Twlight's Hammer Cultist (those folks from Silithus) who has wandered down into the Old Kingdom to work for... something of very ancient and evil origin down there. Drop her, and hope this ring drops. If it does, fight off all the other melee rolling on it, and bingo, you've got a ring that should last you right up until 80. Getting Rid of It: Sells to vendors for 4g 50s 99c (ouch, which is cheap -- apparently vendors have become grubby since we all moved up to Northrend), or disenchants into a Small Dream Shard. You will, as I said, probably replace it before level 80, but until then, see how it shines!

Name: Ironmender Type: Epic Off-hand Damage/Speed: N/A Abilities: * +54 Stamina, +47 Intellect, +45 Spirit * Improves haste rating by 36 and spell power by 74. * Like a few items we've done lately, this is an item made for healer casters, so basically Priests. The Stamina hints at Warlocks, and they could probably use it if nothing else came along, but the name "mender" and the Spirit definitely points this item towards Priests. * And while you can't see it in the pic above, the art on this one glows orange and kicks off sparks. It's pretty good-looking, which isn't a huge surprise, given where it comes from. How to Get It: Drops from Kologarn's cache in the Heroic version of Ulduar. So roll on up to the big bridgekeeper (commissioned by Loken, by the way, and built by Ignis the Furnace Master), take him down, and then win the roll to make this book yours. Getting Rid of It: It's an excellent offhand if it fits the specs you're looking for, so you may have it for a while. There are a few other better offhands to be found in Ulduar, but especially if Spirit is your thing, this is probably the one you'll want. If not, you can vendor it for 7g 56s 23c, or disenchant it off into anAbyss Crystal.

Name: Oracle Talisman of Ablution Type: Epic Trinket Damage/Speed: N/A Abilities: * Improves crit strike rating by 71. * Restores mana, energy, rage, or runic power when you kill a target that grants honor or XP. That proc look familiar? It should -- it was on the Power-infused Mushroom that probably helped you out right around Zangarmarsh the last expansion. Pretty helpful for leveling -- it's helpful in PvP too, obviously, but the XP add makes this helpful for leveling as well. * The old trinket gave back about 200 mana (or 20 energy or rage), but we're not exactly sure how much this one gives back. Probably more in terms of mana (since we probably all have bigger mana pools), but you'll probably have to do some testing (or just check the comments below) to find out exactly how much it gives. * And you probably thought I spelled "Absolution" wrong, but no -- it's actually the Talisman of Ablution, which is the act of cleaning yourself, ritually or for hygenic purposes. And now you know. How to Get It: This requires Exalted with the Oracles, one of the two new "choice" factions in Northrend. The other is the Frenzyheart tribe of Wolvar, and while the Wolvar have a nice trinket too (it gives a nice damage boost after a kill, though it seems meant more for PvP, since XP doesn't proc it), the Oracle one is the one you'll really want for leveling. You can find both factions in Sholazar Basin, and unlike the old Aldor/Scryer choice, you'll get to choose your faction at the end of the grind, not the beginning, so if you decide you'd rather have the other one, you can do that. Get to Exalted, go Oracle, and you can buy this from Geen, the pretty-looking Oracle above, for 10g 73s 43c. Getting Rid of it: I still have my Mushroom in the bank, and you'll probably have this in your bank after Northrend as well -- it won't sell back to vendors, and I'm not sure it even disenchants, as no one has apparently tried yet. In fact, while I'm thinking about it, why have I not been wearing that Mushroom since I first stepped foot in Northrend? Missed opportunity!

Name: Fang of Oblivion Type: Epic Unique One-hand Dagger Damage/Speed: 271-407 / 1.80 (188.3 DPS) Attributes: * +47 Agility, +54 Stamina, and a Yellow Socket, which will probably let you add to crit, hit or haste, depending on what you need more of, with a +4 Agility socket bonus. * +1869 Feral attack power, so you can do more damage in your new kitty form * Improves crit by 29, haste by 24, and attack power by 80. So yes, this is a damage dagger all the way. Rogues get the edge (get it? "Edge"?), but anyone who can wield daggers and likes stabbing with them will benefit. Hunters, you could use it, but there's better stuff out their for you -- even with the dual wield, there are polearms that will give more agility and more stats you want. How to Get It: Drops from the Assembly of Iron in Ulduar on 25-man mode. Get your raid in there, down all of the bosses in the group, contending with their abilities along the way (downing one will make the other two stronger, and dowing two will make the last one go nuts), and then win the roll/spend your DPS, and claim this baby as your own. My god... it's full of stars! Getting Rid of It: You would sell something made from gaseous balls of orbital fire? Oh, you would? Well in that case, a vendor will give you 23g 84s 13c for it (which seems cheap to us, but hey, you're the one selling it). Or it'll disenchant into multiple galaxies of space energy, all conveniently contained in an Abyss Crystal.

Name: Staff of the Great Reptile Type: Rare Staff Damage/Speed: 148-269 / 2.10 (99.5 DPS) Abilities: * +81 Spirit, which has been becoming more and more useful lately. It's really still the domain of Warlocks and Shadow Priests, but depending on the talents and other gear you've got, Spirit, especially this much of it, can be more helpful than you'd think. * Improves haste rating by 66, which again, will depend on the other stats you've got to figure out just how much it'll help you. Haste gets more and more important as you head towards the endgame, but especially with the changes to Haste affecting global cooldowns, this could be really great for anybody casting instants as well. * And increases spell power by 271, which is a no brainer. You'll definitely be able to get more spell power by the time you hit 80, but for the level, this is a decent place to start. * And, I have to say, subjectively, it's a badass-looking staff. How to Get It: Drak'theron is one of my favorite new instances, and while King Dred doesn't really have any new abilities to throw at you (his worst trick is a DoT that you have to top off to get rid of), he is an awesome boss, especially if you're a fan of Jurassic Park. Get in Drak, down the big bad devilsaur, and win the roll, and you've got yourself a shiny new staff. There are a few blues floating around, including a BoE that you can probably find on the AH (probably not cheap), but this is pretty much it until you hit level 80 and start running those instances, Heroics, and Naxxramas. Druids wanted their itemization and they got it -- while there are plenty of Feral Staves floating around, it's tough to find a really standout caster staff (though I'm sure our commenters could come up with a few good ones) until the endgame. Getting Rid of It: Vendors will give you a whopping 15g 62s 25c when you're all done with it, or you can disenchant it into a Dream Shard.

Name: Hand of the Deciever Type: Epic Main-hand Fist Weapon Damage/Speed: 238-357/2.60 (114.4 DPS) Abilities: * +28 Stamina, and you know by now what Stamina gives you. There's no Agility on it, so the Warglaive set is still likely a better option for Rogues if you were lucky enough to get that. But for anyone who needs a fist weapon in the main hand for melee, this is the Cadillac you want to be driving. * Two Yellow sockets, and there is where you can get everything you need that's not in the usual stats (some more crit, some extra Strength for Fury Warriors, or even some hit if you still need it). +6 Attack Power socket bonus, which is pretty weak, so socket with what you want on this one, and only go for yellow if it's all you need. * Increase Attack Power by 54, and your attacks ignore 196 of your opponent's armor. We need to mention Enhancement Shamans at this point -- while Rogues and Warriors pretty much get their pick of the litter for weapons, this kind of fist weapon is aimed squarely at Shammies, who aren't able to use the Warglaives or any of the other crazy swords at this level. That doesn't mean that this isn't a good weapon for a Warrior or a Rogue -- in certain situations and specs, it does rival the Warglaives for them. But this is an Enhancement Shaman weapon first and foremost -- because they aren't able to wield swords, this one's for them. * Ignoring armor is a tough mechanic to wrap your head around (and since you all know that I'm bad at math, I have a harder time with it). If you do have an item that ignores armor, it's best to stack it as much as possible with other items -- taking just a little armor off of a target that has tons of it won't help you too much. But taking a nice chunk of armor off, say, a clothie, helps your DPS out more. Here's a quick chart (that probably isn't necessarily up to date, but can probably work as a good guide). So as little as 500 armor ignored can help your DPS out by a few percentage points, but as you get further into more heavily armored targets, that DPS number goes down. How to Get It: Drops from one of the last bosses in the game, Kalecgos Kil'jaeden (sorry, I've never been to either, mixed them up). Do we have to say anything besides that? If you're already in Sunwell, you know exactly where he is, and if you're not yet, then get to Sunwell first and then you can figure out. Odds are that if you're not raiding Sunwell by now, you probably won't see him before Wrath anyway. Drop him, have about a 15% chance that this item drops, be an Enhancement Shammy and convince all the Warriors and Rogues that this is really an item you deserve, and the Hand is yours. Getting Rid of It: Fully socketed, you probably won't -- even in Northrend, this is a nice weapon to have in the main hand. Though you probably will be done with it before raiding gets underway at level 80, so then you can sell it back to vendors for 15g 65s 3c, or disenchant it into (probably two) Void Crystals.

Name: Silent Fang Type: Rare One-hand Sword Damage/Speed: 45-85 / 1.60 (40.6 DPS) Abilities: * There's actually only one, and it's a crazy chance on hit: if it procs (around 5%), the enemy hit is silenced for a full six seconds. Complete silence (no spells, no casting, no nothing) for six seconds, 5% of the time. Pretty awesome, right? Unfortunately, as with everything, there's a catch. * Blizzard really cut this one down to size. Though you need level 57 to equip the weapon, it starts losing its potency on targets at just level 61 -- this is strictly a vanilla endgame weapon. And after level 71, it doesn't work at all. So if you're planning to twink the pre-60 brackets, or just want to run some old school retro raiding, this is the stabby stick for you. Otherwise, it's unfortunately pretty useless. Hopefully we didn't get your hopes up too much. * But it does look cool. And that name is great as well. How to Get It: It drops from our old friend, Darkmaster Gandling in Scholomance. Here's a boss that I'll say was underrated -- way before all the insanity we now have at endgame, this guy required players to break out and fight on their own out of rooms they were teleported into. It's one of the craziest boss fights I remember doing at the vanilla 5-man level, and while it's not all that tough, it was still pretty chaotic. He drops the sword at around 13%, so just a few runs with him and you'll probably have a chance at it. Unfortunately, while he's super easy at level 80, this dagger won't actually do you much good then. But Blizzard is really mean that way. Maybe someday there'll be battlegrounds or an instance where we'll be able to return to our former level 60 glory and this thing will be useful again. Getting Rid of It: Sells to vendors for 5g 30s 34c, and disenchants into a Large Brilliant Shard.

Name: Foror's Eyepatch Type: Epic Leather Headpiece Armor: 183 Abilities: * Yaaar maties -- this eyepatch increases yer Stamina by 19, which is good, because you'll need as much Staminer as ye can manage to drink toe to toe with ol' Blackbeard. O'course, +19 Stamina ain't much now that ye're sailing around the cosmos in Outland and such, but back when we pirates ruled the seven seas of Azeroth, it were plenty! * It also increases yer crit strike rating by 28 (which'll help ye stab yer rapier right under the shirt folds of those bastards in the Royal Navy), and increases attack power by 44. * Plus, it's as stylish an eyepatch as ye'll find. While there be plenty of eyecovers hidden in treasure chests all over the world, this be the only Epic one ye can wear (at least until our ships set sail again t'Northrend). * Which reminds me, ye scurvy landlubbers -- did I ever tell ye how I lost my own eye? It was the first day I had me hook. Arrr, but that's a story for another day. How to Get It: Ah, to nab this beautiful booty for yerself, ye need to bring down the biggest freshwater kraken that ever terrified the trolls of Zul'Gurub. Aye, lads and lasses, Gahz'ranka, the dreaded Hydra that swims in the ancient Troll city. Once upon a time, the beast required a whole crew of 25 pirates to kill, but nowadays, with the shiny cutlasses and bootstraps ye adventurers have, ye can do it with just a few folks. But bringing the beast up from the swirling waters of Zul'Gurub is a quest in itself -- ye've first got to go into the instance and get the measuring tape of ol' Nat Pagle. Now, Nat Pagle isn't a pirate by any means, but those of us swashbucklers have to respect a man who's tamed as many fish as he has, even if he is a lousy landlubber. Give him the tape (last the echoes of Davy Jones' locker told us, he was in Dustwallow Marsh), and ye'll find him with a Mudskunk Lure. Then ye've got to go back into Gurubsville, fish out five Mudskunks from the pools in the water, and finally ye'll be able to face Gahz'ranka. Ye'll see the eyepatch once out of every ten kills, so get to farming, scallywags! That eyepatch ain't going to pull itself from the beasts' guts on its own! As for who Foror is, ye captain haven't a clue. But he must be a cursed yellow-belly landlubber if he's going to go leaving his eyepatch in the belly of Gahz'ranka! A real pirate would have taken off his boots (Posiedon knows ye don't want to get yer boots dirty), and climbed right down the throat of the beast to get it back! Getting Rid of It: Disenchants into a Nexus Crystal (yer pirate ain't so sure of disenchanting -- fishing is his only profession, and voodoo is better left to those who know how it's done), and will sell back to vendors for 2g 59s 33c. But real pirates don't sell -- if ye got treasure ye don't need, just bury it on a remote island somewhere! That's the pirate way!

Name: Leeka's Shield Type: Rare Shield Armor/Block: 7032 / 197 Abilities: * +37 Strength, +60 Stamina, which is quite a bit of Stamina for a shield. And we know there's almost nothing tanks love better * Unless it's Defense rating, of which this shield gives 38. An exceptionally nice shield -- not the last one you'll ever get, but it's definitely a reason to check out the new Caverns of Time instance the second you hit 80. * And yes, like most of the stuff in CoT: Stratholme, there's a little lore behind this one. There's a shop in Stratholme called "Leeka's Shields and Maces," so it's a pretty good guess that this shield came from shieldmaker Leeka back during her human days. Why do we say human? Because Leeka turned undead, and then apparently turned Forsaken -- she's an auctioneer in Undercity now. It would be awesome if she commented on this shield whenever you showed up wearing it, but maybe she doesn't remember -- do the Undead have memories of their previous lives? How to Get It: You've got to beat up Mal'ganis in the Caverns of Time: Stratholme. He's the Dreadlord who helped turn Arthas into what he is today (though be careful making a monster like the Lich King: you never know when it'll turn on you, like the Lich King eventually did on Mal'ganis). Give him a good beating after the trouble in Stratholme, and in a chest nearby called the Dark Runed Chest, you'll find this shield.There's a tiny bit of confusion as to where it drops -- WoWWiki says Heroic mode only, but a few other places say both modes, so we're pretty certain it'll drop in either. Drop rates aren't completely settled yet either, but the Armory says 25-50%, so it'll probably be a pretty common drop. Win the roll (though you'll probably be the only tank in the instance), and Leeka's shield becomes yours. Getting rid of it: You'll replace it pretty quickly -- there are a few good shields in various Heroics, and some nice shields to be found in Naxx as well, so if you're 80 and working on the higher-level instances (and what tank isn't these days?), you'll likely be selling this one back to a vendor for 9g 8s 99c soon. Or you can disenchant it -- you'll get a Dream Shard for your troubles.

Name: Crossbow of Relentless Strikes Type: Epic Crossbow Damage/Speed: 182-339 / 2.80 (93.0 DPS) Abilities: * It can strike relentlessly, obviously. * Improves hit rating by 14 and crit strike rating by 18, and increases attack power by 32. * The hit is very nice for a bow and it takes up a good chunk of the +hit you need to meet the hit cap, which means you probably will have a gem or two free elsewhere to add more Agility into the mix. The crit is nice, and more attack power is always a good thing obviously. * But the real stat on this bow is its speed -- while the damage ain't the best, the lower speed makes it easier for BM Hunters especially to match up their Steady Shot/Autoshot rotation, which means more DPS overall. This bow is a gift from Blizzard to Beastmaster Hunters, How to Get It: It's relatively easy -- just lug 150 Badges of Justice (those things have to be heavy, right?) to the Badge Vendors in Quel'danas or Shattrath. There's 22 Badges in a full Karazhan clear, and Heroics have about 3-5 each (plus a few more for the daily quest), so run Kara and the daily Heroics all week long, and it should only take you about two or three weeks to pick up all the badges you need. Throw in some ZA if your guild is running that one, and add in the fact that you probably already have a few badges in the bank, and this baby's almost in your hands. It'll last you at least until Sunwell, too, and even if the expansion rolls around before you can make it in there, you should at least be able to get a level or two under your belt before it eventually gets replaced by a green. If you're looking for something to do ingame before the expansion, this bow's not a bad goal to have -- think of all the rep, other gear, and gold you'll pull out of running all these instances, too. Getting Rid of It: Disenchants into a Void Crystal, but just like most Badge gear, vendors won't buy it back from you. As I said, odds are that if you don't replace it with a Sunwell piece, you'll probably replace it at some point in Northrend. But the thrill of gear isn't in having it, it's in chasing it, right?

Name: Touch of Madness Type: Epic One-hand Axe Damage/Speed: 297-552 / 2.60 (163.3 DPS) Attributes: * +24 Agility, +52 Stamina * Improves hit rating by 34, crit strike rating by 26, and attack power by 92 * Unfortunately, Shaman are pretty happy about this weapon already (especially the Orcs among them, who get a nice bonus to axes), and Death Knights have a use for it as well, but of course that Agility and those stats mean that this is one of the only high-level axes currently in the game for Rogues, who'll be able to equip them in the next patch. Competition over this one will likely be fierce. * If, that is, we're still running Ulduar at that point -- don't forget that there's a whole new tier of weapons and gear coming in the next patch as well, and I'd be very surprised if there weren't some cheap/easy-to-get Rogue-style axes in there as well. But if you want to be ready and everyone else in your 10-man Ulduar raid who has one wants one, you Rogues can grab this one now and equip it on day one of the new patch. How to Get It: Yes, it drops from Yoggy in 10-man Ulduar. So get your raid up to the chamber of the big bad, drop him, win the roll against all of the other Shamans and DKs (Hunters, go elsewhere), and the axe is yours. Yogg Saron isn't really a pushover -- nothing ever called "The Old God of Death" usually is -- but if you can make it past his guardians and tentacles and keep your sanity all the while, you'll see this drop at a pretty high rate. if all of the online databases are to be believed, you'll see it about one-fourth of the time. Getting Rid of It: Sells back to vendors for 20g 74s 57c, and disenchants into an Abyss Crystal. But you've at least got to keep it until patch 3.2, right?

Name: Vile's Uglystick Type: Uncommon Two-handed Mace Damage/Speed: 350-525 / 3.30 (132.6 DPS) Abilities: * +53 Strength, +80 Stamina * Equip: Increases your parry rating by 53. * Not a bad starter tanking weapon, especially for Death Knights, though really the only reason you'd take this one is if you really wanted a mace and were working through the late solo game. There are better maces later on, of course, but for this mace, the journey is really worth more than the destination -- see below. * And the note on this one says "Once beaten, twice shy," which is of course a reference to the classic Great White tune (wow, what a row of hair metal classics in the beginning of that clip, right?), as well as a pun on "beaten" and "bitten," since "got beaten by the uglystick" is a euphemism for saying someone is hideously ugly. Get all that? Sure, we explained the joke, and probably ruined it, but at least I got a Great White video linked in there. How to Get It: You have to get a quest from Vile in The Shadow Vault, but wait -- you get to Icecrown, and The Shadow Vault isn't there. Yes, the neutral quest hub is actually an unlockable city (more phasing fun from Blizzard). To open it all up, you have to do a quest chain that starts with a quest called It's All Fun and Games, and as you do that questline, not only will you get Knights of the Ebon Blade reputation, but more quests and dailies will open up. As soon as you can talk to Vile, he'll give you a quest to kill some Vykrul in Jotunheim (which, by the way means "Home of the Giants" in Norse, so it's bascially San Francisco -- isn't this column full of fun facts today?), and when you get back, you'll get a choice of weapons, including this one. Like we said, the quests are probably more fun than getting the actual item on this one, but the questline will also open up some Knights of the Ebon Blade dailies to do. And even if you're 80 already, there's lots of gold to be gotten from questing, so if you haven't done this stuff yet, look it up this weekend. Getting Rid of It: Vendors will give you 13g 64s 13c for it, or it'll disenchant into a Greater Cosmic Essence (with a chance of a Small Dream Shard).

Name: Hypnotist's Watch Type: Uncommon Trinket Damage/Speed: N/A Abilities: * Use: Reduces your threat to enemy targets within 30 yards, making them less likely to attack you. * Cooldown of five minutes, which means you're meant to use it a little less than every other fight -- usually only in situations where you need it. A two-minute trinket is meant to be used more often obviously (and you already know by now that you should be using trinkets as much as possible, right?), but this one is a little more special. * Most people say it reduces threat by about 720, which isn't much (and there are a few other trinkets floating around that will do more). But this one is super easy to get, and in a few situations, 720 threat is all you need. * Like which situations? Pets, mostly -- Warlocks or Hunters who accidentally pull aggro off their pets while leveling can pop this one and sent mobs back to their mini-tanks. DPS Warriors and Rogues can also use it as a preventative measure in instances, though in most cases there, you'll want to stick to DPS trinkets and rely on your usual threat management abilities to keep things controlled. This trinket is more for when you want to mess around solo, not when you're in a group and other people are depending on you. * And one more thing: this trinket drops threat, but doesn't erase it. It won't make you lose aggro completely, like Vanish or Feign Death -- all it does is drop the threat numbers, and someone else (or your pet) has to be there to pick the mob up. How to Get It: This is husky loot today -- most of the items we've done the past few weeks are hardcore endgame raiding items, so here's one everyone can get. Everyone that can navigate Hellfire Peninsula, that is -- you'll want to talk to "Screaming" Screed Luckhead, who is one of the goblins near the wrecked Zepplin in the southwest part of the peninsula. He'll have you do a quest to pick up zepplin pieces, and then run you far south to the Warp Fields, where you'll have to kill Voidwalkers and steal their essence (of course, this is right near the Ravager nests down there, and near the Human ghosts area, so you'll probably want to chain quests by this point). Do the Voidwalker thing (the quest is called "Voidwalkers Gone Wild" -- cute), and then bring the essences back to Luckhead to claim your trinket. Getting Rid of It: By level 68, there are a few other threat trinkets which will serve you better, and by then hopefully you've learned how to control your threat anyway and have a much better DPS or utility trinket to use. This one will disenchant into an Arcane Dust, a Lesser Planar Essence, or a small chance of a Small Prismatic Shard, and will sell to vendors for 74s 64c. You are getting very sleepy...

Name: The Boreal Guard Type: Epic Shield Armor: 7960 (223 Block) Attributes: * +39 Strength, +92 Stamina. Pretty standard for a tanking shield. * Two sockets: Red and Blue. This is what pretty much puts this baby over the top in terms of endgame tanking shields -- get some extra Strength, Stamina, and/or Defense in there, and this shield matches up against stuff that drops from the very hardest bosses in the game. * Also increases defense rating by 35, parry rating by 37, and shield block rating by 33. Very nice shield. * Plus, it's got a dude's face on it. That means that you can be like Homer when he went to jury duty -- just hold this up in front of your face, and people will think you're still awake while you're grabbing some sweet Zs during a raid! How to Get It: Drops from the Rare Cache of Winter, which you get from finishing off Hodir's 10-man hard mode. Hodir, as you probably know, is the guy who's Sons we've been helping out in Storm Peaks, and you may not have known that it is suspected that he is the guy whom "Greatfather Winter" is based on. Except that he's nuts and trying to kill you. For his hard mode, just don't wake up any of the NPCs in his chamber and finish him off yourself. Do it on 10-man, be the tank (or a tank, I guess, if your MT already has this one), and this shield is yours. Getting Rid of It: Sells back to vendors for 13g 97s 68c, or disenchants into an Abyss Crystal. But you'll probably keep it -- like I said, it's comparable to some of the best shields in the game, at least until the next patch comes down.

Name: The Fleshshaper Type: Epic One-hand Dagger Damage/Speed: 206-310 / 1.80 (143.3 DPS) Abilities: * +22 Agility, +58 Stamina * Improves hit rating by 27, and attack power by 76 * Very nice dagger no matter what you're doing. The speed is a little slow (most daggers at this level are at 1.40), so some Rogues may complain that they lose a little bit of DPS with this one (in general, a faster weapon is better when you're aiming for poison procs, since a weapon that hits more often has more chances to apply poison), but especially if you're hunting for an upgrade in the Heroics, odds are that this will help, either in the MH or OH slots. There's an upgrade in Naxx, but for five mans, this is an excellent melee dagger to have. * Plus, it looks weird. It's like you're cutting someone up with a horn! How to Get It: Drops from the Heroic version of Sjonnir the Ironshaper, a boss in the Halls of Stone. The fight is notable for the cameo of one of Warcraft's most famous unseen lore figures, Brann Bronzebeard himself. Finish him off, hope the droprate shines on you (it's about 20%, so it's not too bad), and the dagger is yours. Then start looking for a Naxx group, because you can probably find an upgrade in there without too much trouble. Getting Rid of It: Vendors will give you 19g 82s 85c for it, or, being epic, it'll disenchant into a Abyss Crystal.

Name: Crux of the Apocalypse Type: Epic One-hand Dagger Damage/Speed: 164-247/1.80 (114.2 DPS) Abilities: * +18 Agility, +15 Stamina, which makes this a nice weapon for either Hunters or Rogues. Hunters will probably say it's best for them, and Rogues will probably say they deserve it, but no matter who's getting this weapon, it's top of the line period. Just look where it drops from. * Red socket (perfect for a Subtle or Bright Crimson Spinel), +4 attack power bonus * Improves haste rating by 27 and attack power by 56. No matter how you look at it, this is a very, very nice dagger. * Just in case you're not up on your Latin, crux means cross, though it's also picked up another meaning in English as central or critical point. Either way, whenever you're stabbing someone with a central symbol of the Apocalypse, they're going to feel it. How to Get It: Oh, nothing too hard -- it just drops from Kil'jaeden, the current endgame boss of World of Warcraft. So just, you know, beat the game, and then win the roll against that greedy Hunter or the grabby Rogue in your raiding group, and the knife is yours. Oh, and you'll probably want to do it again -- if you think one of these things is great, just think how awesome dual wielding them would be. Getting Rid of It: You won't -- at least not until most of the way through Wrath of the Lich King. But when do you sell it, a vendor will give you 15g 52s 99c for it, or you can disenchant it into a Void Crystal.

Name: Constellus Type: Epic Main Hand Mace Damage/Speed: 93-298 / 1.80 (108.8 DPS) Attributes: * +55 Stamina, +54 Intellect * Blue socket with a +5 Spell Power bonus * Improves crit strike rating by 29, restores 19 mana per five seconds, and improves spell power by 587 * That spell power is the key stat -- along with another high level item in your other hand, it holds its own against some of the best Staves in the game. * And yes, Val'anyr is shinier and more legendary. But not everyone can get that one, so this one is probably just as good until you're able to farm for the orange. * Not to mention that it looks awesome. I personally like the "earthy" feel of Ulduar weapons like this -- the shiny stars is nice too, but this kind of art looks better to me. How to Get It: It used to only come from Algalon's gift beat him down in hard mode (which was really tough), but more recently it's also been appearing inside Hodir's Cache of Winter, obtained if you beat Hodir's hard mode fight. Since Algalon requires you to beat Hodir's hard mode anyway, we assume that's probably where you'll see it first, so get up to Hodir in 25-man, bring him down under three minutes to earn the achievement and the Rare Cache of Winter, and this one might be inside. Win the roll and it's yours. Getting Rid of It: Disenchants, as usual, into an Abyss Crystal, and sells back to vendors for 24g 26s 86c. Of course, you probably won't get rid of it until you've collected all of the pieces for the legendary (or until patch 3.2 appears, whichever comes first), but until then, it'll probably serve you well.

Name: Forgotten Shadow Hood Type: Rare Cloth Head Armor: 236 Abilities: * +54 Stamina, +44 Intellect, +66 Spirit, which makes it excellent for Warlocks or healers. * Meta socket and a Blue Socket, to be used as per whatever you need. Socket bonus of +8 Haste rating. * And increases spell power by 82, which is very nice for a blue headpiece, actually. This is an excellent all-round caster helmet. It's not epic, so obviously you'll be able to get better gear while raiding, but it's got solid stats for almost any caster, and the gems will let you fill in some of the stats you might be missing on other gear. An excellent piece to head into raiding with. How to Get It: This one drops from my boss, Salramm the Fleshcrafter in Caverns of Time: Stratholme. I say "my boss" because I am convinced (probably simply because of my own ego) that Salramm, is named after me (my last name is Schramm, and they seem close enough for government work, so I'm claiming him anyway). He's not too hard, even in heroic mode, just tank, spank, and keep an eye out for the adds. Bring him down, and odds are pretty good you'll see this hood. Win the roll and it's yours. Getting Rid of It: When you do get an epic headpiece, a vendor will give you 4g 40s

Name: Pride Type: Epic Off-hand Fist Weapon Damage/Speed: 251-467 / 2.50 (143.6 DPS) Abilities: * +39 Stamina * Improves hit rating by 50 and attack power by 76. * While the speed on this one is still a little faster than what most Shaman want, this seems to be an Enhancement Fist Weapon, as the speed is way too slow for a Rogue offhand. It's not the top of the game (there is a better Fist Weapon sitting right up in Naxx, but for players who want a Fist weapon without having to join a guild or get in a big group to do so, this baby's a good one. * And it pairs very well (in fact, it's probably meant exactly for this) with Greed, a weapon found in heroic Culling of Stratholme. As Wowhead's commenters say, Blizzard missed a big opportunity here. They should have called the main-hand Prejudice. How to Get It: It's a badge item, or more specifically an Emblems of Heroism item. Just like in Outland, you can get them from Heroic bosses, from the bosses in Naxxramas, or from doing the daily quests to the Heroics from Dalaran. Stack up 50 of them, and this fist weapon is yours. Of course, with the upcoming patch, there's a chance that Emblems of Heroism could be upgraded for better gear, so you might want to save them if you don't need this weapon right away. But as always, that's up to you. The patch will likely be a long way off, so if you want to go for this anyway (it does look really awesome, especially if you pair them up), I wouldn't blame you. Getting Rid of It: Disenchants into a Dream Shard, and like most badge gear, vendors won't buy it back from you, so it's either keep it for posterity or type DELETE into the box and get rid of it.

Name: Parrot Cage (Hyacinth Macaw)
Type: Epic (yes, Epic) Noncombat Pet
Damage/Speed: N/A
Attributes:

* Allows you to summon the Hyacinth Macaw companion pet, one of the most beautiful "parrot style" pets in the game.
* And yes, it has a purple name. Originally, it was listed as a lower quality (Green, I think, for Uncommon, like most pets of this type). But this pet is special -- it has a super low drop rate, anywhere from 1/1400 if you're lucky, up to 1/5000 kills of the mobs below. And so Blizzard just recently made itone of two epic pets in the game, the other being the Hippogryph Hatchling from the TCG.
* Other than that, it doesn't do much but flap in the air and look pretty. But it is very, very rare.

How to Get It: Unfortunately, you used to occasionally get lucky -- because it was listed at the same quality of many easy-to-find pets in the game, some players would occasionally sell it on the AH for pennies, not realizing that they'd been one of a very select group of Hyacinth looters. Which is why Blizzard upped the quality -- when people see an epic, whether it be a pet or a sword, they pay attention.

So now, unless you want to pay a ton of money on the AH, the way to get it for yourself is to grind. Grind, grind, and grind. You've got to grind on the Bloodsails down in Booty Bay -- each one of them has a very small chance to drop one. The good news is that while you're grinding, you'll gain other rewards -- each of the guys drops cash, and you'll get a metric ton of Silk, Mageweave, and a few other rare-ish and quest items (which you can sell to the AH or turn in for reputation). But those rewards can be earned in other ways, so if you want to go after this pet, the main conclusion is that you'll be grinding pirates for a long, long time. Good luck!

Getting Rid of It: You click the pet, you learn the spell, and that's about it. Although the pet is still BoE, so you could give it to a good friend if you want. And if you are really, really nuts, a vendor will give 10s for it.

Name: Last Laugh Type: Epic One-hand Axe Damage/Speed: 192-357 / 1.60 (171.6 DPS) Attributes: * +37 Strength, +73 Stamina. Interesting -- I don't know if I've ever seen a weapon where the attribute numbers are reversed like that. Probably not done intentionally, but it's an interesting little quirk. * Increases Defense rating by 31 and parry rating by 34. So it's obviously a tanking axe. Which is too bad... * ... because it also adds to your hit by 24. That's a nice stat for melee and even some Hunters, but with the rest of the stats on this one, it remains squarely in the domain of the meatshields. * Plus, it has a face. A demon face. This axe is so metal. * And it'll give you the last laugh, because with all of that Defense, you'll still be standing when your foes run out of HP. And as the old Italian saying goes, "Ride bene chi ride l'ultimo." How to Get It: It drops from Kel'thuzad in Heroic Naxxramas. So this one is pretty attainable, actually -- we've been doing a lot of Ulduar stuff lately, but most guilds running 25-mans are able to clean out Naxx, so get your guild in there on Heroic mode, drop the big bad KT, and be a lucky, roll-winning tank to pick this one up. You DPS melee folks might sigh when you see a nice high damage axe like this go to a tank, but you can't argue with the Defense. Pass on this one and find your own. Getting Rid of It: Sells for 23g 7s 55c back to vendors, and disenchants into an Abyss Crystal. Can you imagine getting stabbed with one of those horns or getting caught on those bony teeth? I'm telling you: metal.

Name: Pride Type: Epic Off-hand Fist Weapon Damage/Speed: 251-467 / 2.50 (143.6 DPS) Abilities: * +39 Stamina * Improves hit rating by 50 and attack power by 76. * While the speed on this one is still a little faster than what most Shaman want, this seems to be an Enhancement Fist Weapon, as the speed is way too slow for a Rogue offhand. It's not the top of the game (there is a better Fist Weapon sitting right up in Naxx, but for players who want a Fist weapon without having to join a guild or get in a big group to do so, this baby's a good one. * And it pairs very well (in fact, it's probably meant exactly for this) with Greed, a weapon found in heroic Culling of Stratholme. As Wowhead's commenters say, Blizzard missed a big opportunity here. They should have called the main-hand Prejudice. How to Get It: It's a badge item, or more specifically an Emblems of Heroism item. Just like in Outland, you can get them from Heroic bosses, from the bosses in Naxxramas, or from doing the daily quests to the Heroics from Dalaran. Stack up 50 of them, and this fist weapon is yours. Of course, with the upcoming patch, there's a chance that Emblems of Heroism could be upgraded for better gear, so you might want to save them if you don't need this weapon right away. But as always, that's up to you. The patch will likely be a long way off, so if you want to go for this anyway (it does look really awesome, especially if you pair them up), I wouldn't blame you. Getting Rid of It: Disenchants into a Dream Shard, and like most badge gear, vendors won't buy it back from you, so it's either keep it for posterity or type DELETE into the box and get rid of it.

Name: Zhar'doom, Greatstaff of the Devourer Type: Epic Staff Damage/Speed: 145-323 / 3.20 (73.2 DPS) Abilities: * +70 Stamina, +47 Intellect, which makes it perfect for Warlocks, though really any caster would probably benefit * Improves spell critical strike rating by 36, spell haste rating by 55, and increases damage and healing by 259. In other words, it rocks. Having a two-hand weapon limits you a bit, but this baby is your one stop shop for every stat important to a caster. Definitely a beautiful caster staff. * And it's in the shape of a stretched-out Felhunter, or, depending on any conspiracy theories you may have about Blizzard continuity, a Zergling (more on that in a second). I couldn't find a video for you, but apparently it writhes and the mouth opens and closes as you hold it, too -- pretty weird and wacky. * So about the Zergling thing -- Zerglings, as you may know, are the lower-rung units in the Zerg race of Starcraft, another Blizzard game. They look very similar to Felhunters in WoW, and it's true, this staff does look a little bit more like a Zergling than any other Felhunter we've seen in Azeroth. Plus, the name of the staff seems to be a reference to a Devouring One, another Zerg groupie. And it comes from Outland (a place out in the middle of space), and we have already seen Zergling noncombat pets in game. * So I submit to you the conspiracy theory of all conspiracy theories: What if Warcraft and Starcraft are taking place in the same universe? And what if, depending on timelines, Zerglings are Felhunters and vice versa -- what if the Zerg is an evolved (or primitive) form of the Burning Legion? Just something to bend your mind a little bit on this Friday afternoon. How to Get It: Drops from the marquee star of the last expansion, Illy Dan himself. Drops at a rate of somewhere between 10-20%, so not super rare, but unless you're seriously farming the guy and/or are a Warlock or high DPS-doer who really needs a nice staff, you might have to wait a bit. But who doesn't want this thing, really? Put an "of the Devourer" after anything, and it becomes instantly more desirable. Tell me you wouldn't want a "Cupcake of the Devourer." Have you heard about that new Apple product, the "iPhone of the Devourer"? And dude, I'm so jealous -- my friend just got a "Nintendo Wii of the Devourer"! Getting Rid of It: Sells for 18g 39s 48c to vendors, disenchants into a Void Crystal. You should keep it though -- if the Zerg do invade Azeroth, maybe you can hold it hostage or something.

Name: Titansteel Shield Wall Type: Epic Shield Armor: 7350 Abilities: * 211 Block, +36 Strength, +69 Stamina * Increases defense rating by 84, and at this level, while I'm not a tank expert (I leave that to the pros), Defense is what you want * So obviously this is a tanking shield. It's not the absolute best tanking shield in the game (in fact, we covered another one right around this level that drops in CoT: Stratholme, and there's a nice one in Naxx, too). But it is a very good tanking shield, especially for when you can get it, and if you don't want to deal with RNG (and want to put your hard-earned profession to good use), this is the one. * It's Bind on Equip, too, so you can buy one or sell one -- see below. How to Get It: As you might have guessed (or known, more likely) already, it's Blacksmithing all the way. You can pick up the recipe from the BS trainer (I have a degree in BS, actually -- Bachelor of Science), and the mats will be, let's just say, a challenge. You'll need four Saronite bars, three Titansteel bars, and a Frozen Orb. Frozen Orbs are easy -- they drop from the ends of Heroics, so just win a roll there and you got one. Saronite comes from Saronite Ore (so named after Yogg-Saron, the old god dwelling in Grizzly Hills and corrupting anything he can get his slimy tentacles on), which you just might go crazy getting -- keep an eye on your chat log. Titansteel is a little tougher. You'll need Titanium Ore, which you can find from the nodes in Icecrown (or via a Transmute, but that's a last resort). It's three titanium bars per one titansteel, so you'll need nine total. And then you'll also need one Eternal Fire, Eternal Earth and Eternal Shadow for each Titansteel bar, so three each of those. Be at least 440 Blacksmithing, put it all together with some sweat and blood over and anvil, and the shield is yours. We'll note here also that since the item is BoE, you could just buy one off the AH -- average price is around 2500g. But it's much more fun to make one yourself. Getting Rid of It: As pretty as it is, you probably will be exchanging it whenever your lucky day comes in Heroic CoT: Strat or Naxx. But don't worry about that -- you can sell it off to vendors for 13g 10s 92c, or it'll disenchant into a Dream Shard or (small chance) an Abyss Crystal.

Name: Blade of Eternal Darkness Type: Epic One-hand Dagger Damage/Speed: 33-70/1.50 (34.3 DPS) Abilities: * It's only got one: landing a direct damage spell has a chance to deal 100 Shadow damage and restore 100 mana to you. So basically every time you hit with a DD spell (not a DoT), you have a chance to do damage and restore mana. Pretty awesome. * There's no apparent cooldown on the proc. As mentioned, it doesn't work on DoT tics, but it sometimes does work on AoE, and it does work with spells like Lightning Shield (though it doesn't work with totems). So depending on your situation, the dagger might be worth keeping around even into the higher levels. Until downranking is killed off, it might be a way to build back up some mana. * Oh, and the minimum level is 49, which makes this definitely a twink item -- while it's great for leveling, it's most likely twinks who are going to be asking for Princess runs to grab this one. * Trivia: For a long time, this was the first non-World epic item in the game. As of 2.3.0, Blizzard redid the loot for a lot of lower level instances, and now it's a ring in Scarlet Monastery. But this is the original Epic drop, baby! How to Get It: Yes, you've got to go in and kill the Princess in Maraudon (which is probably my favorite, pre-BC instance, though Dire Maul is a good one, too). As you probably know, there are really three parts of Mara -- there are two paths that go through the instance (one full of orange crystals and one purple), and then they meet up in the middle for a third section that leads to the main boss of the instance, the extremely ugly Princess Theradras. If you've done the quest for both sides of the instance, you can get the scepter that will let you use the portal at the beginning of the instance to warp right to the last part. Doing just the last part is called a Princess Run, and that's what you'll need to do to get this item. It drops from the lovely lady at a rate of about 2%, so it's definitely a rare drop to come by. But twinks have proved that it's farmable, so if you really, really want it, you can get a higher level to run you up to the Princess and drop her a few dozen times, and you'll probably see it. If not, keep farming -- a coin has to fall tails sometime, right? Getting Rid of It: Sells to vendors for 4g 67s 96c (which isn't a lot at 70, but is a whole lot of money at level 49). Disenchants into a Small Brilliant Shard.

Name: Petrified Ivy Sprig Type: Epic Wand Damage/Speed: 414-719 Nature / 1.80 (328.6 DPS) Attributes: * +19 Intellect, +22 Spirit, +26 Stamina. Which is actually less than that other big endgame wand, but wait, there's more: * Improves hit rating by 29 and spell power by 45 * And there's a yellow socket, which is the real reason why this wand is best-in-slot. With the socket, you can boost whatever stats you like, and if you go yellow, you can get a socket bonus of +4 Spirit, too. Very nice. * It's kind of a woodsy Ulduar feel, too. Not sure I like it as much as the granite feel of a lot of Ulduar weapons, but it has a nice glowy charm. How to Get It: It likely won't be easy -- of course you've got to go into Ulduar, and you've got to down Freya, and yes, a stick like this will require you to down her hard mode. That means you leave the Elders up, and oh yeah, while they're still standing, not only will they buff her damage output, but they'll give her some extra abilities to rock your world with as well. It won't be an easy fight at all. But bring her and her Elders down, and when this comes up, you can fight all of the other casters for it. Win that roll (good luck on that) or spend your DPS (more likely), and the sprig is yours. Do I need to explain what a "sprig" is? It's an old Middle English word that talks about a shoot off of a tree. Or, actually, it also can be used for a "representation of a sprig," which is more likely what this is, given how it's sculpted together.Getting Rid of It: Sells back to vendors for 16g 50s 60c, or disenchants into an Abyss Crystal. But hang on to this one -- it'll last you most of the way through the Argent Coliseum, I'd bet.

Name: Mallet of Zul'Farrak Type: Rare Unique One-hand Mace Damage/Speed: 58-109 / 2.50 (33.4 DPS) Abilities: * +8 Strength, +8 Stamina * Yes, this is the legendary Mallet of Zul'Farrak, the one you had to fight all the way up to the top of Jintha'alor to get in order to summon Gahz'ranka in the midlevel instance of Zul'Farrak down in Tanaris. But as of patch 3.0.8, this mallet, and a few other items, are now not necessary any more. Still, instead of deleting them completely, Blizzard decided to turn them into real items, much like Pinocchio was turned into a "real boy!" * Plus, they used a pretty awesome model, too, especially if, like me, you're a fan of the Troll aesthetic. Pretty nice weapon for a one-handed mace at level 35, even if it's a pain to actually get. How to Get It: Chances are you already have it -- if you've ever gotten the Mallet before, you can look through your bags and you'll now find the updated version. But if you're leveling up an alt and think it would go perfect with your twink gear, you've got a nice long road ahead of you. And it leads to the Hinterlands (where, you'll note, even though this mace is level 35, the mobs are much higher than that, so bring a friend). First, hit up the Altar of Zul there, and kill a mob named Qiaga the Keeper for an item called the Sacred Mallet. Then, you'll need to reach the top of Jintha'alor, also in the Hinterlands. It won't be as hard as it used to be -- the mobs aren't elite any more -- but like I said, if you're trying to do this at level 35, it'll be tough unless you have a friend or two with you. Reach the altar at the top of the mountain, use the Sacred Mallet, and the Mallet of Zul'Farrak is yours. Getting Rid of It: It's too bad they didn't make this an heirloom item automatically, as it would have been a nice one to pass back down through the generations. But you can sell it back to vendors for 2g 68s 73c, or disenchant it into a Large Radiant Shard.

Name: Torch of the Damned Type: Epic Two-hand Mace Damage/Speed: 396-595 / 3.80 (130.4 DPS) Abilities: * +51 Strength, +45 Stamina * Improves crit strike rating by 38, improves haste rating by 50. * Great for Paladins, and any other class that uses weapon damage for certain abilities. Warning: this gets into some deep math, and you guys know I'm bad at that, so expect to see some more number crunching in the comments. Basically, Seal of Command, a Ret Pally talent, gives a chance to add 70% of the weapon's damage to any normal attacks, and since most weapons trade off speed for damage (as in, the slower the weapon, the higher the damage), slow weapons are better -- you'll get more damage output when SoC procs. And since this weapon is very slow and very powerful, you'll get more damage overall out of Seal of Command. * The Haste rating is also good for Paladins, not because it will help with Seal of Command (SoC is a procs-per-minute talent, so no matter how many times you hit, you can't get it to proc more often), but because it'll let you hit more often, which means more white damage. Any class that benefits from big swing damage (Windfury is awesome when it procs with a huge weapon like this) will love this mace. * Oh, and anytime we mention a two-handed weapon, Matthew Rossi's eyebrow twitches until we mention Titan's Grip. Imagine seeing a Warrior wielding this baby... and something else at the same time. Yeah. How to Get It: Drops from the Essence of Anger, which is part of the Reliquary of Souls in the Black Temple (which, trivia for you, was influenced heavily by Sinistar, an old arcade game). Essence of Anger is the third phase, so get your 25 man raid up to that point, be one of those silly Ret Paladins (silly Paladins -- DPSing is for Hunters, Locks, Mages, and Rogues!), and spend your DKP or win the roll, whatever you need to do. Then you too can haul around this big purple spiky Mace, swinging it at will and bringing your enemies to their knees with just one proc. Getting Rid of It: You probably won't, for a while. But it does disenchant into a Void Crystal, and vendors will buy it back for 18g 43s 86c

Name: Red Sword of Courage Type: Epic Unique-equipped One-hand Sword Damage/Speed: 160-299 / 1.60 (143.4 DPS) Abilities: * +25 Strength, +58 Stamina * Increases defense rating by 38 and hit rating by 26. * Which, yes, means this is a tanking sword (so you Hunters out there, keep your grubby hands off of it -- first, because there are better ways to get the hit and Stam, and second because you'll get /gkicked for even looking at it). This is a non-Naxx sword that can definitely be used to enter Naxx and do some tanking in there, so if you're aiming to get geared up for raid tanking, keep an eye out this one as you run Heroics. * And the name seems to be influenced by the novel everyone reads in junior high, Stephen Crane's Red Badge of Courage, about a young man who runs from battle because he doesn't know any better. So maybe this is a Rogue weapon after all. How to Get It: It drops from one of my favorite bosses, King Ymiron in Heroic Utgarde Pinnacle. He's the last boss, of course (I really liked how Blizzard introduced us to him relatively early on in flashbacks and magic scenes -- made it much more fun to take him down in Heroic Pinnacle), so get through the instance, drop him, and you'll see the drop around 18%. Of course if you're the only tank in the group, you should have the only roll, but as we all know, the more you want a piece of gear to drop, the less chance it actually does. Here's hoping you're able to get it. And if you don't, you can always have another tank drag you into Naxx and help you get the sword foretold by Salzman from Accounting. Getting Rid of It: Keep it until you get the aforementioned Slayer of the Lifeless -- it'll serve you very well in the early endgame. After that, you can sell it for 19g 20s 38c or disenchant it intoan Abyss Crystal.

Name: Star's Tears Type: Common Consumable Damage/Speed: N/A Abilities: * Requires level 65. On drinking, restores 7200 mana over 30 seconds. Which isn't that great -- you can get this water from any Mage, right? * But this water doesn't come from a Mage, and that's what's so special about it. It's the cheapest vendor water you can buy -- just 25s and two (that's right, two) Honor points per 5, in stacks of 20. Just one BG will earn you enough to not worry about the Honor points, and overall, you'll save money (probably even cheaper than that Mage you're tipping every time you log in) every time you buy it. * And, as Arena players all know, this is the only non-Mage water usable in the Arenas. As the tooltip says, it's "carefully extracted for warfare use," so Arena players who can duck out of combat (Hunters, for example, can Feign Death out of combat and drink) can get back some mana fast even without a Mage in the group. * Plus, as all Warcraft players (and bloggers) know, tears are the tastiest drink of all. Mmmmm tears. QQ moar pls. How to Get It: This tasty drink is just a vendor away -- you've got to run to the Officer Accessories Quartermaster in each capital city to pick up your couple of stacks. That's Brave Stonehide in Orgrimmar, and Master Sargeant Biggins in Stormwind City. Give them your money and a couple of Honor points, and the drink is yours. Who needs Mages anyway? Getting Rid of It: You could, um, drink it? Otherwise, you can sell it back to the vendor for 1s 25c, which is suprising -- these are the tears of stars, people! Famous people cried their eyes out just so you could have these!

Name: Wisdom's Hold Type: Epic Shield Armor: 8130, 227 Block Attributes: * +70 Stamina, +48 Intellect, which means lots of HP and Mana for you. * Improves crit strike by 40, haste by 47, and spell power by 75. Nice set of bonuses there, too. * And a blue socket, with a socket bonus of +5 spell power. It's a slight upgrade over Voice of Reason, the other big caster shield near endgame, but enough of an upgrade that you want this one if you can get it. * Plus, like most of the Ulduar stuff we've been looking at lately (feel free to recommend a "husky" item for next week in the comments below), it looks pretty awesome. Those sparks fly out of the gem in the center, so be careful not to burn yourself on the incredible. How to Get It: Drops from the Cache of Storms in Ulduar's Heroic (25-man) mode. The Cache of Storms is only available after bringing down Thorim. I don't think you have to do his hard mode (which involves running the gauntlet in front of him quickly enough to bring his wife Sif into the battle), all you have to do is finish him off in 25-man and hope this baby gets spawned in the cache. Win the roll against any other shield-using casters (or use your DKP, you know the drill), and the shield is yours. Getting Rid of It: And likely will be yours for a while -- if you noticed, the previous shield actually comes from Naxx. So who knows whether the Coliseum will offer up a respectable caster shield. If it doesn't, you might be waiting until Icecrown to replace this one. At any rate, when you do replace it, you can disenchant it into an Abyss Crystal or sell it back for 15g 4s 14c.

Name: Blade of Tarasque
Type: Epic Main hand Dagger
Damage/Speed: 108 - 343 / 1.80 (125.1 DPS)
Attributes:

* +48 Stamina, +65 Intellect. Used to be that Stamina on a caster item meant warlock, but I think this is just an endgame item -- any caster who needs it could use it just fine.
* Plus, there's a blue gem socket on it, so you can put whatever you want in there, with a socket bonus of +5 spellpower. Just because it came up on the site earlier this week, I'll use this opportunity to remind you that any gem can go in any socket -- you just won't get the socket bonus. Yes, really.
* Improves hit by 51, haste by 57, and spellpower by a tasty 692. Hit seems strange to have on a weapon this high (by this level, most people should have their hit capped already), but then again, having that much hit on a blade means you can take it off of something elsewhere. Truth is, if you're getting this weapon, you already know where you're at on hit and how to deal with it, so I'll leave you to it.
* I will say, however, that the Tarasque is a large-turtle like dragon spoken about in a legend in France, supposedly charmed and tamed by Saint Martha (though she wasn't able to stop people from killing it anyway). I know about the Tarasque from my days DMing D&D games -- the Tarrasque is a huge creature (and there is only one of them) based on the French legend. The Torrasque in Starcraft is based off of the same legend as well. And though I've recently learned that it probably isn't true, I always believed that Bowser was just a cartoony Tarasque seen through the filter of a Japanese game designer. Feel free to make your own conclusions about that.

How to Get It: Oh, sorry, were we talking about a dagger in World of Warcraft? This is the Alliance version of the dagger, but the Horde version drops in the same place: Icehowl in the 25-man heroic version of Trial of the Grand Crusader has both of them. Get in there, drop him with whatever faction you choose, win the roll on this one against all of the other greedy casters looking for a main hand, and it's yours.

Seriously, doesn't Bowser look like the Tarrasque? I guess he was supposed to be based on an ox instead, but I like my turtle legend better.

Getting Rid of It: I'm guessing you'll probably find something nice (and probably a little scarier) in Icecrown. So when that happens, you can sell this one for 25g 36s 94c, or disenchant it out into an Abyss Crystal.

Name: Jeweled Fishing Pole
Type: Rare Two-hand Fishing Pole
Damage: 410-610 / 3.00 (169.3 DPS)
Attributes:

* 1603 Feral Attack Power. Yes, it's true. Just in case you druids leave this on while in a different form.
* Requires Fishing 300, which as we've said before, isn't too hard to do. Go over to El's Anglin' take a few hours and follow their great Fishing/Cooking guide, and you'll be done before you know it. You don't need the 300 skill to get it, but why not get it anyway?
* Increases Fishing by 30, but in my experience, especially if you've maxed out fishing, you won't need to worry too much about fishing levels any more. With a +100 lure, you'll be able to fish almost anywhere in the world, and with almost any pole with a fishing bonus, you really will be able to fish anywhere without pulling in junk.
* The pole's made by Tiffany Cartier, an NPC who is a reference to both Tiffany's and Cartier's, both extremely high-end real-life jewellers. Cartier is also a jewelcrafting supplier, which is cute.

How to Get It: This is one of the newest fishing pole rewards in the game -- it's available as a random drop from the Dalaran fishing quests. So level up fishing if you haven't already, run the Dalaran fishing quests (which you should do if you have the time, anyway -- they're great money and they even give cooking award tokens now), and just hope that this one drops. Wowhead lists it as a .4% drop from the fishing bags, but technically it's twice that, because the Bone Fishing Pole drops from the same place. Either way, if one of them drops, you'll have a nice (relatively) unique fishing pole to tote around for the Kalu'ak Derby.

Personally, I think they should go nuts with fishing poles -- just like tabards and vanity pets, almost every faction should have their own kind of fishing poll for sale, so when you do hit up a fishing tourney like this, there are all kinds of poles to look at and find and collect. I can be patient, though -- there are still a few fishing items due out that we haven't seen yet, and Blizzard said at BlizzCon that we'll be seeing updates to the "fun" of fishing. We fishers are patient folks -- heck, we have to be. Our whole profession is mostly waiting.

Getting Rid of It: Get this -- sells back to vendors for 1 copper. Apparently Tiffany Cartier hasn't built up the reputation for high prices that her real-world namesakes have. Either that or this thing is too tacky for any vendors. At any rate, you might as well keep it.

Name: Worldcarver
Type: Epic Two-hand Axe
Damage/Speed: 632-949 / 3.40 (232.5 DPS)
Attributes:

* +137 Strength, +136 Stamina
* Improves haste by 70 and expertise by 87. In other words, it's a straight up DPS axe, designed for some powerful hacking and slashing and that's about it. No sockets, just lots of Strength. And the expertise helps out a lot as well.
* It does look good, though. You can't argue that's not a serious looking axe.

How to Get It: It's dropped by Ignis the Furnace Master in Ulduar 25, normal mode. So all you have to do is go in and take Ignis down (not a completely easy feat, as Ignis is probably the toughest boss you'll face in the early parts of the instance), and then win the roll over any other grabby Fury warriors or death knights.

Getting Rid of It: Even without a legendary two-hand axe coming in Icecrown, this isn't necessarily best-in-slot for everyone, so you might well be replacing it higher up in Ulduar or in Trial of the Crusader. But when you do, vendors will give you 27g 92s 77c for it, or you can disenchant it into the usual Abyss Crystal.

Name: Mystifying Charm
Type: Epic Offhand
Damage/Speed: N/A
Attributes:

* +65 Stamina, +65 Intellect, +57 Spirit
* Improves crit strike rating by 57 and spell power by 100.
* In short, it is a sweet caster offhand. Almost anybody who needs a high level offhand will appreciate it. The one drawback is that it has no hit rating at all, but depending on your other gear, that might not be an issue.

How to Get It: This is actually the Horde version of the offhand that drops from the Twin Val'kyr in 25-man Trial of the Grand Crusader (the Heroic version of the Argent Tournament instance). So just charge on in there, drop the boss, be Horde (the Alliance version is obviously similar, though with a different name and skin), and win the roll to walk away with this item. Pretty easy, all told.

Getting Rid of It: It's a nice offhand, but I'll venture to say that for most casters, there are probably better caster items out there to equip when you can actually get them. That said, nobody's wearing all of the gear they want quite yet, so if you have this and then find something better, vendors will give you 7g 56s 23c or you can disenchant it into an Abyss Crystal.

Name: Sharpened Obsidian Edged Blade
Type: Epic Two-hand sword
Damage/Speed: 715 - 1074 / 3.50 (255.6 DPS)
Attributes:

* +146 Strength, +179 Stamina
* Improves crit strike by 69 and expertise by 103
* In other words, it's a sword that, when you slash it down, makes big numbers pop up. Excellent for anyone wanting to wield a two-hander that requires lots and lots of strength and a nice bit of stamina behind it. DKs, ret pallys, warriors, you name it.
* And of course this is one of a few updates to the old OEB, which was originally a Molten Core drop. The model has been slightly updated, and of course the stats are better, but they're both for the same purpose: doing big damage with a two-hand sword.

How to Get It: As the update to the old blade, this drops off of the new Onyxia raid in the 25-man version. Here's the 10-man version. As we've said on the site before, Onyxia is pretty much a walk in the park -- she sends an add in every half-minute or so during the fight, but that's offset by a way easier Deep Breath. So bring a group in there, down her, have this drop, beat the roll against any other two-hand wielders, and the sword is yours.

Getting Rid of It: Sells back to vendors for 30g 8s 72c, and disenchants into an Abyss Crystal. You'll likely find something better in Icecrown, but given that this drops from the anniversary boss, it's probably a nice solid choice for any alts you happen to have.

Name: Unspeakable Secret
Type: Epic Staff
Damage/Speed: 281-519 / 2.80 (143.1 DPS)
Attributes:

* +81 Stamina, +81 Intellect.
* Improves crit rating by 114, haste rating by 93, and spell power by a nice 487. That's definitely not Trial of the Crusader levels, but for a normal 5-man drop, that's not too shabby.
* Does look cool, though. And the name is just something that sounds cool, though it does make me think of one of the best sites on the Internet.

How to Get It: You've got to run the new Icecrown Citadel 5-man instances, also known as the Frozen Halls. This one is actually in the Pit of Saron, which is the second instance that you'll do in order (we've got a full attunement guide up already). But all of the instances are definitely worth doing, and with the Dungeon Finder in effect, you've got no excuses. Run through them this weekend, when you get to Forgemaster Garfrost in PoS (yes, that is the abbreviation), hope this drops, win the roll against your other-realm PuGgies, and the staff is all yours. Good luck!

Getting Rid of It: Sells back to vendors for 27g 43s 88c, and disenchants into an Abyss Crystal or two. And if you do go raiding, you will be replacing it sooner rather than later.

Abracadaver -- summoner of Cadavers!

The in-game pet from purchasing a Wind Rider Cub plushie.

Image courtesy of Synysta of Cairne - US