- Hi, I'm Punishment!
Hey I'm Punishment, a 59 rogue on Thunderhorn. I like the smell of dead things, stabbing people in the back, and romantic candlelit dinners. Let's go looking for love!
- First, Some Cologne
I figured the best person to ask about love is a hot chick, so that hottie Jessica Chambers in Light's Hope Chapel was my first stop. She explained, however, that apparently, I've got to put on cologne first, and then I can only give "love tokens" (any friendly innkeeper sells both) to people who had hearts above their heads. I tossed the cologne on, but no heart above Jessica's head. Oh well, she's not my type-- she's still alive.
- In the UC (Don't Call It That)
So I headed to the UC to get some real action. Unfortunately, as soon as I landed, I found some action, but not quite what I wanted. Patrick had the hots for me, but even though I attack from behind (I am a rogue), I don't swing that way. I advised him to check out the Blood Elves in Silvermoon, and went looking for the love of my life.
- Flirting with Lady
I'm a manly man, so there's no better lady for me than THE Lady, Miss Sylvanas Windrunner, right? I laid down my game thick, but she didn't have a heart above her head, so she didn't do anything but stare at me with those dead, hot eyes.
- Please Baby Please
I even begged a bit, but Sylvanas was ice cold. Maybe she doesn't... you know... like rogues.
- Love is a Disease
So I headed across town to find what I could find. Outside the UC bank, there was this cat who told me Love wasn't anything but a feeling, probably driven by some sort of plague. He gave me a quest to see if the Undercity guards were falling in love.
- Abominations in Love
And sure enough they were! I hadn't had any luck with Sylvanas, but these guys loved me so much... I'm not into abominations or anything, but I figured these guys do so much for us, always standing there, giving directions, and being gross. I'd do something nice for them.
- I Love You Too
So I did it. I declared my love to a rotting corpse. It helped a little bit that I was a rotting corpse, but I do have to say, when you talk about settling, this is pretty much what you mean.
- Love is a Battlefield
So I closed my eyes, thought of England, and the guard declared his love for me. A gift pack fell into my inventory, and I got this stuff. The arrows throw a funny debuff on players (fun to use on stealthed people in battlegrounds), the pledge is a quest item-- more in a second-- and the friendship bracelets are for curing "Heartbroken" players. I'm going to learn about that too...
5 pledges combine into a gift collection, which you then take to one Kwee Q. Peddlefeet in each of the major cities. Giving him those collections finishes a repeatable quest, and casts a "vote" for that city's leader-- of course, I wanted to vote for Sylavana, so I collected Undercity pledges of Loyalty, but if you like someone else, you should collect for them.
Unfortunately, after hitting up a few more guards and NPCs with love tokens, one of the ladies actually broke my heart! Instead of giving a gift, she gave me a debuff, which means I can't give any more gifts until the debuff wears off (1 hour, same as the cologne buff). Someone else can take the debuff off of you with one of those friendship bracelets (which you get with your first gift), but if no one's around or willing to debuff you, you're out of luck. That's love for ya.
- My Love Sylvanas!
In just a few minutes, I only got a few pledges-- not enough to make one collection before I got heartbroken. (I didn't have the patience to get someone to debuff me-- I'm a rogue, I got things to stab), but I did stop to check the charts and see where my favorite city leader, Sylvanas, sat. Right on top, baby-- that's the way she likes it! Happy Valentine's Day!