Oct 31st 2009 12:52PM so yea....i feel like i am one of those guys that turns people off of grouping.
As a hardcore gamer it is pretty easy to get impatient when someone is not performing to my expectations. I don't expect perfection, just a little bit of cohesion. I've called people names, kicked people from groups, told others not to group with people, and have even labeled people not worth grouping with ever.
I am not saying it is right, i am just speaking from the point of view of a hardcore gamer.
But this article surprised me. I truly never thought about people not grouping period after having a bad run in with a player like me. Look, there are always jerks that don't know what they are doing themselves and will be mean just to conceal their own lack of skill. That is not me, but to a newbie(non derogatory, new player) it can be easy to not be able to tell the difference. When players like me acted like that we viewed it as "tough love."
"Maybe if people call them on their mistakes they won't keep making them!"
"Well if he/she wants to group again maybe he/she should L2P"
"Send me a tell when you learn how to play in a group"
We don't want to belittle you. We want you to have fun too. We want you to be geared too. My gear and skill are worthless if the rest of my group also doesn't have gear and skill, and us hardcore gamers know this.
Looking back however, I can see my what I thought at the time as justifiable rudeness as being a factor in a new player being turned off of grouping for a long time and that is not what i want.
As far as how to help i can offer how new people avoided my wrath.
As the article states, if you are unfamiliar with an instance, or even grouping at all, SAY SO IN THE BEGINNING. At that point the group can decide if they want to deal with teaching or not. When i knew someone was a a true newbie and not just stupid, i was always understanding, helpful, and constructive. But, how would i know this if i am not told?
Another big thing is this: making a mistake and owning up to it is all well and good, but what will tick a player like me off is making the same mistake...over and over. Admitting to it or not, if you are not even trying to correct what is wrong THAT is when the normally nice players like me will rage.
One last thing, EVERYONE wants to give the newbie advice, and often it is conflicting. Let everyone speak, but don't try to take it all in. Just focus on one nice player who obviously knows what he/she is doing and worry about his/her advice and just let the other 3 players say whatever. Trying to sift through conflicting advice will get overwhelming to a newbie.
I guess what i am saying is that if the players new to grouping can try to work on those things, i can try to work on being more understanding and not being the jerk that turned you off of grouping forever.
Jun 2nd 2007 5:48PM With the fact that nihilum has the goal to be the best in the world in mind....
Here is the bottom line. It is not about men being better than women, or women being inferior in any way shape or form but rather, men and women are different. That is it, different. They are being treated differently in their recruiting policy because we are different. These differences lead to many possibilities for complications or "drama."
From an objective point of view, it makes sense. Not only would the leader have to worry about the normal things such as player skill/attendance, the leadership would have to gauge(unfairly, no way to do it fairly) if she is the type of woman that would cause such "drama". Time is really the only factor that can tell with something like that. Not to mention the problems that can occur without the woman doing anything wrong at all.
If nihilum will do something to make their guild 1% more efficient, or avoid any potential set back at all, they will do it.
Do i think this is "right?"
Absolutely not. I understand the logic and i understand it is not because of a "men are better than women" mentality, but i don't like the fact that women are getting instantly disqualified because of their male members(read: ALL) insecurities or potential insecurities.
The social problems that CAN(not will) occur when you put women and men together for extended amounts of time is undeniable. That can not be debated.
Kind of tough for me to close this because i am flip flopping a bit, but i guess i would have to say....I agree with the logic and reasoning behind it, but disagree with underlying issue causing it.