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  • Pollux
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WoW Moviewatch: Icecrown Raiding {WoW}

May 16th 2010 2:15AM I wanted to gouge myself during every chorus.

The Daily Blues {WoW}

May 12th 2010 11:00AM Berries? Guessing? Panacea pie? Wot?

Two Bosses Enter: Loken slips past Xevozz, Ymiron battles Krik'thir {WoW}

Jan 21st 2010 8:30PM Ymiron crushes Krik'thir's head, and wipes his hand on the snout of his porcine belt buckle.

Rumor: Sam Raimi's next project is the Warcraft movie {WoW}

Jan 12th 2010 7:40PM Weren't we trashing on Raimi a few months ago when Blizzard or whoever else it was said they absolutely didn't want him working on a Warcraft movie?

Two Bosses Enter: Gal'darah vs. Loken {WoW}

Nov 12th 2009 11:35PM Oh, jinkies. Looks like bracketing Yogg-Saron's lines with < and > wasn't such a good idea.

Two Bosses Enter: Gal'darah vs. Loken {WoW}

Nov 12th 2009 11:15PM PROLOGUE:

Rhonin was beginning to feel uneasy. Archmage Sunreaver had warned him that it was absurd to try to enter into discussions with the Drakkari Ice Trolls - that it was not only dangerous, but futile - and he now understood Sunreaver's sentiment.

Across the stone table, Frost King Malakk eyed him intently, as if calculating his worth... or edibility. The mage felt small and vulnerable under the prolonged, oppressive gaze of this formidable troll. It didn't help, either, that the gathered crowd of troll warriors around the edges of the room had grown visibly restless during the unbearably long minutes of silence following Rhonin's request for aid in the upcoming battle against Yogg-Saron and his insufferable puppet, Loken. Visitors were rarely welcome in Gun'Drak; even one so powerful and widely renowned as Rhonin. His prestige meant little, if anything, in this place where greatness was measured in sheer bulk. Seeing the growing hunger in the eyes of the warriors, the mage had begun steeling himself for the vertigo of emergency teleportation back to Dalaran, when the grim King finally spoke.

"Why should Drakkari be puttin' demselves' necks on da line? We be losin' much to da zombies a'ready," he said, narrowing his eyes.

There was a hum and stir of general agreement among the other trolls. The tribes had lost a great deal at the hands of the Scourge, it was true. They had even gone so far as to commit deicide, sacrificing their own Loa in the hope of absorbing their power, to help them repel the undead swarm. Rhonin had expected the Frost King to be reluctant to further risk the lives of his people, especially when the threat of the Death God seemed so remote compared to the invading forces already on his doorstep.

"I do not ask that you needlessly endanger your warriors, King Malakk," said Rhonin, bowing his head to accentuate his image of reverence, "but if Yogg-Saron's escape from Ulduar is not prevented, his malice and his thirst for dominion will envelop all of Azeroth. The Drakkari cannot last forever against the destruction he will bring down upon the races of this world."

Malakk's eyes strayed downward to the table as he drew a hand along one of his long, notched tusks.

"I do not ask you to slay the Old God, Yogg-Saron himself. I cannot lay that burden upon you. I will have bands of mercenaries attending to his demise. But his liberator, the corrupted Titan and former jailor, Loken, must not escape justice. I implore you, Frost King, to see to it that he does not live long enough to jeopardize Azeroth again." Rhonin was sure to cast a glance around at the gathered warriors as he spoke these last words. It was important that they all feel the need to revenge themselves on the defiled Watcher.

"Loken will not stop unless he is destroyed," Rhonin continued after a pause, now making eye contact with each troll in the room. "Even if my mercenaries succeed. Even if Yogg-Saron is conquered and annihilated, Loken will send out his legions of Iron Vrykul to assault your lands and enslave your people. His malevolence must be put to an end."

"So we be killin' da big bad guard man, ah?" said Malakk, raising an eyebrow. Rhonin paused, suppressing the great sigh of relief that was welling in him, having heard this cue of assent from the imposing King.

"Yes, your Greatness," said the mage, lowering his head again. "My gryphons will carry your fighters across the vast chasm to the north whe-"
"One fighta'."
Rhonin faltered. The strength and bravado of the Drakkari certainly could not be denied, but to send a lone warrior against the Prime Designate was ludicrous.

"King Malakk, I feel that I must advise against such a reckl-"
"Maybe you is tinkin' we be weak... Maybe ya tink ma best troll wouldn't be nothin' against big bad Loken, ah?" the King sneered.

A thick silence seemed to suddenly smother every breath and heartbeat in the room. The eyes of every troll focused on Rhonin, who, in the interest of preserving his life, said nothing. The Troll King slammed his fist on the table and, rising out of his seat, shouted at the man.

"You know nothin' 'bout da power of my kin!" he barked as he waved a hand toward the audience now swelling, bristling with pride and defiance. There would be no turning them from this course, Rhonin realized. Not the King, and most assuredly not his zealous subjects. He merely nodded in subdued concurrence.

"You gonna tell your mercenaries we be handlin' dis one. Dis be nothin' to Drakkari."

"I will, your Greatness," answered Rhonin as he rose to his feet and bowed. "I shall send an emissary with a gryphon for your champion immediately." With a final salute, the mage teleported himself away, back to the Violet Citadel.

Frost King Malakk turned to face his attendants.
"Bring me Gal'darah."

Far away, from the depths of his prison, the Death God listened and perceived the fresh plot against his plaything, Kronus. The strands of his consciousness reached out, mingling with those of the reconstructed Titan. Loken saw, as if through ripples of water, the preparations of the trolls. He heard their words echo to him through the interminable pathways of Yogg-Saron's mind like whispers in a cistern.

Yogg-Saron's words pierced through the dreamlike vision, pervading Loken's senses.

"They will not bind you again, my love."

Images of Loken's fatal encounter with Anub'arak were thrust into the Prime Designate's awareness... The great stone spurs erupting from the floor, rending his leg... The injection of acid, saturating and quickly dissolving his internal mechanisms... The Gate...

"I shall not fail you, master. The Nerubian deceived me. I will not be tricked again."

"Yes, my love. I shall not fall."

Loken felt Yogg-Saron's presence receding from him, and became aware again of his surroundings. He heard the mighty thunder of Volkhan's hammer and anvil, and the underlying rhythmic march of Bjarngrim's patrols. And in the distance, he heard also - or thought he heard - the steady flap of a gryphon's wings, coming ever closer. He clenched his fists and activated his oscillating electric field.

"No, I shall not fall..."

Two Bosses Enter: Gal'darah vs. Loken {WoW}

Nov 12th 2009 7:24PM Loken loses because he forgot to grease his almighty joints. Stuff started locking up and generating intense friction, melting segments of his interior copper wiring.

Gal'darah didn't even show up. He couldn't figure out how to get across that damned massive crevasse in front of Ulduar.

Anub'arak came, though, and told Loken to "shut up and stay down, like a good boy."

Yogg-Saron eventually took notice of Loken's paralytic state and commanded Mimiron to repair him, but Mimiron was busy fusing his rocket deployment system back together after the latest raid. So Yogg-Saron sent Ignis, because, let's face it: Ignis doesn't do anything except pick up garbage and throw it in his belly pot..... which is precisely what he did with Loken when he got up to the Terrestrial Watchtower.

Whoops. Liquefied.

The Guild season 3, episode 10: It's on! {WoW}

Nov 11th 2009 3:08AM Not "overzealous," probably, but too busy/lazy to articulate their objections or provide a reasonable defense for the series.

imo, The Guild is worth plugging regularly because:
-Real human actors.
-Real world scenery (because I can play WoW if I want to see medium-quality digital landscapes).
-Humor that isn't restricted to WoW tropes.
-It represents a huge step forward to bringing WoW and other MMORPGs to mainstream notoriety/acceptability, which is pretty exciting.

The Guild season 3, episode 10: It's on! {WoW}

Nov 10th 2009 9:23PM Paaaahahahah! What a great climax. For both of us.