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Two Bosses Enter: Altairus vs. Eregos {WoW}

Apr 12th 2011 12:13AM SCENE: The skies of Azeroth. A blue day fit for a blue dragon. Whose fit to be peeved.

EREGOS: (muttering) Don't they know how much I have to eat after these trips around the planet? I don't care if some egghead calculated the diameter of Azeroth to be 50 to 60 kilometers*, it's a bother of a trip. Better be something over there to eat, some Taunka wings, a dozen Gnome-filled fried mallomars or something.

(EREGOS quiets, seeing a sillouette. Actually, two, as they come closer: some winged creature he's never seen before, and a large bat with tusks. )

EREGOS (hovering uneasily): What the hell is this winged monkey? And who the hell are you?

DRUID: Me be Druid referee and translator Bahtkwano, mon. Dis ere be Altarius, Storm Draggin, yer opponent for dis week's edishun of Too Boss Entah, One Boss Leafs!

EREGOS: Simpletons! Out here instead of (grabs invitation hanging on a chain around the neck, reads, tosses it) the Thunderdome?

BAHTKWANO: Hey brah, they dids de measurements. Wouldn't fit. Take a massa blasta to accomodate yas. We don't need anudda hero --

EREGOS: - to do menial tasks like collecting logs to make an arena. Got it. Plus he's a storm dragon. Allegedly. I guess it would give him home field advantage. Altarius? I thought the invitation said Algol, or Al Ghoulius.

BAHTKWANO: Nah man, dat fantasee star an udda be ownah o' de Raidahs. OK, 'ere be laws of de fite. Dis be nootral terrytory. Crowd contros ayloud. Heysume each ohpoenint bees intelligent an' apeable of strategic tinkin'. Everyting bees a factor -

EREGOS: - whatever, do you Trolls ever attend a school to speak Common? I could've gotten a drunk dwarf to say the same to me if those pudgy pucks could fly.

BAHTKWANO: Jes' doin me job, boss-

EREGOS: - and did you say "capable of strategic thinking?" This is a frakking gecko with wings. Is he gonna lick me and roll his eyes all creepily and googily and give me 15 minutes of flight insurance? Oooh, scary! Please tell me for the love of Malygos what this purple people eater is capable of.

BAHTKWANO: Kay, Lemme recall it entrance ...

EREGOS: Trance? You like that music too? Kaskade, Tiesto and I get together on the weekends in Northrend, bust out the glowsticks, get some belf chicks to raise the roofies and get our grooves on ... we had a sweet sound the other day, going like this ... dooshdooshdoosh ti-dink-ti-dink da-dink da-dur-

BAHTKWANO: Mon I bees tryin' to concentrates 'ere-

EREGOS: -whirrr dooshdooshdoosh -- whee! Oh man, you gotta hear us!

BAHTKWANO (concentrating): Yaya mon, come out to de kost, we'll git togetha, hava few laffs. Altarius brah, 'e bees de massa o' de wins. 'E breaf out forst breaf, lightnin' an' debuff yas on downlo. Upwin tho, brudda buff ya.

EREGOS: OK, I know I may have given you that impression, but I don't roll that way.

BAHTKWANO: HA! I means dis draggin be rooinen yer stats if ye bees downwin.

EREGOS: Downwind? My god, don't tell me rips ones ripe to stay afloat.

BAHTKWANO: Git da brudda afta bobbycue sundaes, 'e bees paintin' wit da colors of de win! Pew pew! MUAH MUAHA!

EREGOS: Thank you. Now, did you tell him the rules for combating me?

BAHTKWANO: Ya, but dere bees a problem 'ere. 'E only one, not fo', got no drakes-

EREGOS: So? He claims to be "de massa o' de wins" as you put it.

BAHTKWANO: Time, time, stop, I know roos is roos ...

EREGOS: (ANGRILY) You were planning on betraying me with a time stop ruse? Such insolence ... such arrogance ... MUST BE PUNISHED!!!

(Eregos goes enraged, blasts a quick arcane barrage, then does a planar shift, releasing anomaly sparks who smash Bahtkwano and Altarius out of the sky within seconds.)

EREGOS: Enjoy the fall!

* = http://us.battle.net/wow/en/forum/topic/1567927014?page=1

Know Your Lore, Tinfoil Hat Edition: Silence of the Titans {WoW}

Feb 7th 2011 7:34AM Ane,
Great write up and hypothesis. So we're basically test pets. Now my toon feels like the way Rutger Hauer did when he met his "god of creation" in Blade Runner: When my warlock meets the Titans, I'm going to kiss them for giving the gift of life ... and then kill the SOBs for all the hell they've put me through.
And Raz, here's my hypothesis on why the Titans left the Well of Eternity ...

SOMEWHERE IN THE COSMOS ... IN THE GREAT DARK BEYOND ... IN A NEBULA OF BLACK LIGHT ... ON A COUCH ... PLAYING VIDEO GAMES ... DIABLO VI FOR THE ATARI 26,000 ...

AMAN'THUL: Hey Norgannon bro, I got to ask ... we need a new brew in the kegger, I'm getting tired of this stuff. Do you happen to have that stuff we had on Azeroth way back?

NORGANNON: (Thumbing an earthquake to kill Diablo for Order) Unfortunately, not with me. But I did leave a pool of it on that planet.

AMAN'THUL: (Pausing to read stats and get into conversation better) "Pool of it?" Like, you spilled it or made an ocean of it or something?

NORGANNON: (laughs) No no no. You see, I made a spring out of it. A pool. And it's sitting there, collecting the sun and the wind, fermenting as the eons go by.

AMAN'THUL: There's no like bacteria risk, or any chance of the natives like drinking the stuff up?

NORGANNON: Nah, it's all good. I hid it pretty well. Besides, you got to let the stuff ferment for a bit, pick up some natural flavors like fruit in a vodka bottle or whiskey in oak casks. Like at least a mega-annum.

AMAN'THUL: Whoa, serious? That long? You mean you didn't just conjure that stuff up with like your magic when you brought it over?

NORGANNON: You mean the spell I taught the loser mages of all these worlds, making them nothing more than portable vending machines for most of their careers? Nah that's the cheap stuff, the kind of drinks you bring out and kick back with after a long day mowing a grassworld with a storm of the century and an volcanic explosion tied together. But it gets you drunk! And that's what counts!

AMAN'THUL: OK, so we left that big pool of booze there, it's been a mega-annum ... it's gotta be ready for kegging. Who do we got in that part of the universe ... ah dammit, it's the intern.

NORGANNON: The starry guy? OH NO. I DO NOT TRUST MY DRINK IN THE HANDS OF COLLEGE FRESHMEN OR BEINGS MADE OF STARDUST. That will ruin the whole texture of the booze.

AMAN'THUL: Yeah brah, make it all fizzy.

NORGANNON: And fizzy drinks and Golganneth do not go well together.

AMAN'THUL: Dude, you know why he's called the Thunderer. You can't stand being with 100 light years around the guy when he downs a carbonated water world and not start crying.

NORGANNON: But he does come in handy when you need to build a methane gas giant.

AMAN'THUL: Totally. Well, I'm calling the intern, since he's the only guy we know in that neighborhood. I'm just going to ask him how it looks.

NORGANNON: Not to touch, remember, NOT TO TOUCH. OUR ALCOHOL.

AMAN'THUL: Yeah. (rings). Hey, intern guy ... uh ... Alganon is it?

ALGANON: Master! I must tell you of something of great portent!

AMAN'THUL: Whatever it is, it'll have to wait. Listen, we were just wondering, there's like this spring we left on the problem planet, Azeroth, and we-

ALGANON: But sir, on Azeroth-

AMAN'THUL: Alganon, listen. All we want to know is, how is that spring?

ALGANON: Spring? Um, there's this swirly thing in the sea ...

AMAN'THUL: Not it.

ALGANON: Hm, there's a glowing body of magical-looking water ...

AMAN'THUL: Yeah! That's it!

ALGANON: And it's surrounded by a city of pink, long-eared folks worshipping it.

AMAN'THUL: WHAT? Dammit.

NORGANNON: What? What did he say?

AMAN'THUL: He says there's a city built around the kegger. (To ALGANON) They're not like bathing in it, running steel mills across it, pooping or giving birth in it?

ALGANON: Not that I can tell sir.

AMAN'THUL: It looks drinkable? Not like green like stuff you'd mutate a corpse in or brown like a sewer?

ALGANON: Appears waterish with a magical hue. Can't tell if it's drinkable from this distance, should I taste?

NORGANNON: Hey, it's OK. I got a filter at my house. Brita. We'll pass it through a charcoal asteroid a few times, maybe pasteurize it. Maybe their funk added a flavor! They make beer with bacteria! And wine using barefoot chicks to stomp grapes!

AMAN'THUL: Yeah, but are they hot chicks with good hygiene?

NORGANNON: You ... do have a point there.

ALGANON: From what I gather, sir, I hear these Blood Elves are hot.

AMAN'THUL: You said "blood" elves? Are they like cutting their wrists in the water or something like that?

NORGANNON: (muttering) Yeah, that would be bad. Some HIV or hep C ...

ALGANON: No sir, I think it's a sort of name implying racial superiority.

AMAN'THUL: (To ALGANON) That so? Well at least it's not like some ugly-faced Troll mutating in it or some pig-faced goblin wench wallowing around in the drink. Allright, do us a favor, just watch the body of water, check it visually, do NOT touch it, do NOT drink it. We're saving it for a very special party, and we'll fire you immediately if you even sip from it. Capice?

ALGANON: Understood sir. Now, I was going to tell you-

AMAN'THUL: Another time, dude, I got a situation here. (click)

NORGANNON: Well, it's there. Fermenting still. But I say we hurry. Next century, we'll get the car, cruise by and pick it up. I don't trust starman.

AMAN'THUL: That was an excellent movie.

NORGANNON: Oh yeah. Jeff Bridges, his magic marbles, and Karen Allen, when she was still Raiders of the Lost Ark hot! And we have so got to work Raiders into an adventure for these little guys on their planets.

AMAN'THUL: That would so rule. (Clicks save, turns off game machine) Hey, check the laser discs, I think I want to watch either of those movies.

NORGANNON: (Chuckles) Dude! Your laser disc cabinet needs order.

AMAN'THUL: (Annoyed) I know, blame it on Eonar. She likes to put things in alphabetical order, not genre order. There's no way in the cosmos Blade Runner should be between Amazon Women on the Moon and Bloodrayne.

NORGANNON: I weep for your housekeeping. Here it is ...

And if you need a few more laughs or another hypothesis, here's my last thought on the titans:
http://wow.joystiq.com/2011/01/23/know-your-lore-uldaman-ulduar-and-uldum-strongholds-of-the-t/

Know Your Lore: Uldaman, Ulduar, and Uldum, strongholds of the Titans {WoW}

Jan 24th 2011 5:22AM As usual, great stuff Ane. Inspired me to bust this out ...

SOMEWHERE IN THE COSMOS, A BRIGHT NEBULA IN THE GREAT DARK BEYOND

NORGANNON: (startled) Yo, Aman'Thul, what are you doing hiding behind the supernova? I just got home!

AMAN'THUL: Hiding? I wouldn't stoop to that. It's Your feng-shui! It is awful! Have you been letting chaos decorate your living room?

NORGANNON: Actually, I've just been channeling my Jackson Pollack in these parsecs. But serious, I thought you might be, you know, a burglar-

AMAN'THUL: What, you thought someone was going to steal the stars?

NORGANNON: (embarassed a bit) Yeah, huh-huh, I was thinking yeah, someone would and then I'd have to tell some flea-sized critter I'm the King of the Universe and tell them to roll up a mountain, a dozen goats, a couple of french breads, all the cars on a third-world nation's freeways and a skyscraper into a ball and remake them.

AMAN'THUL: (snorts a laugh, then shows a small device)

NORGANNON: Whoa! Still rockin' the pager Aman'Thul?

AMAN'THUL: Yeah. I know, I should've upgraded when we were fixing up that lovely lava world, Char. Well, yesterday, I got a page. From Azeroth.

(ORCHAESTRA: BWAHHHM)

NORGANNON: Reception my inception! I like that little chime! Kinda overdramatic but ...

AMAN'THUL: That signal is coming from the old arcade we left on Azeroth.

NORGANNON: Dude, I know we were totally lit and buzzed that I carried your undefeated record with the Vikings on the NFL Blitz machine, but I do remember shutting off the lights when we left last mega-annum ...

AMAN'THUL: Did you check the power bar thingy on the seafloor?

NORGANNON: Yeah, I moved it to the sea trench too, I recall we kept having accidents with that thing. You accidentally brushed the off switch once, while we were forming the murlocs, and that corrupted their speech file --

AMAN'THUL: They were supposed to sing in contralto and cluck like chickens ...

NORGANNON: Well, all we could get was gargling and we had to settle and move on because deadline was near. Then I recall we had that accident with Eonar, she thought she was putting her flip-flops back on when we had the computer desk over the ocean but she pulled a continental rift out between her toes ...

AMAN'THUL: Yeah, she tried to cover that slip up with a jungle in the middle of a desert. A jungle in the middle of a freakin' desert!

NORGANNON, Dude, she not only yanked that bad boy out, she also made those jungle mountains in ... what we call it, Feralas? Then she decided to get cute and pinched pieces of earth up and made that funky Needles place ...

AMAN'THUL: Memories. Anyway, what's your thoughts? (sneering) I'm thinking somebody left the discs out ...

NORGANNON: (annoyed) Well, I always put them in the titansteel covers, always do since you got on my case about that one disc getting cracked.

AMAN'THUL: Do you know how hard it is to get a Yardbirds recording in stone in this part of the universe?

NORGANNON: Yeah, yeah, a box of frogs, cream and renaissance can make the same sound ... listen, I got a hypothesis, hear me out, since it ain't from Ulduar, it ain't from whatshisface, Al, that starry guy that's our intern ... I think the softies we left to evolve might've finally figured out our toys.

AMAN'THUL: Which ones? The vrykul were busy measuring each other with stones and swords all the time ... or were they measuring their swords and stones, I can't remember ... and the little ones with the beards only pounded the earth and drank alcohol.

NORGANNON: That's one more action than the Sporelings Eonar made on that freaky nearby planet. (Vulgar hand motion) Pounding the mushroom, pounding the mushroom ...

AMAN'THUL: She was obviously on mushrooms when she made those ... and stop doing that, I didn't need to know you're right-handed.

NORGANNON: (smiling, flexing) Actually, ambidextrous.

AMAN'THUL: (singing) Too much in-fo. Ahem. OK, we could rule those out, could rule out the trolls, as all they do is smoke and eat each other. Tauren ... they'd probably use our machines for a backscratching post. So that leaves ...

NORGANNON: Sargeras? Uh-uh. Not his style. He'd be blasting the pager. He's not into the whole brevity thing. He's not clever enough to say, reincarnate himself from a pregnant master sorceress and make a whole army of darkness using portals and conspiracies. And since our boys in Ulduar didn't report anything about the parasites, that leaves only one possible suspect ...

AMAN'THUL: Gnomes. I told you we should have eradicated the little vermin. They'd most likely tear up all our work while we were away. But Eonar was like "they're so cute, how could you?" Allright, I said, holding off on the gnome purge. And here we are. Getting midnight pages from that planet's version of sentient Pomeranians ...

NORGANNON: Don't get me wrong, I like canines, but all those do is look cute, bark, bark, bark ... and crap all over the floor.

AMAN'THUL: Precisely. I have a feeling we'll need to do some visitation and ... re-origination. Where did you put the planet restore disc?

NORGANNON: Gah, always when I'm working on other systems ... I think I put them in the shoebox.

AMAN'THUL: Where and which? And also ... I thought you knew everything ...

NORGANNON: Please! I only advertise that. Plus you made me memorize all those stupid spells like starshards and demon sacrifice that end up on the arcane cutting floor. Anyhoo, I think Eonar did some spring cleaning in this part of the galactic arm, lemme check this closet (pokes head) nope, that's just a black hole. (opens door), hm, there's where I put that red dwarf ... oh yeah here's ... oh shi-

AMAN'THUL: Her shoe closet. Brilliant. Do you know how many pairs she ...

NORGANNON: I get it, I get it. Let's start looking. I need the ladder.

AMAN'THUL: Stairway to heaven, coming through ...

WoW Moviewatch: Cataclysm Millionaire {WoW}

Jan 20th 2011 3:19PM The only time you should feed trolls is if you're rolling horde and about to do a raid boss.

That and Das Boot (German) was a badass film worth reading.

WoW Moviewatch: Cataclysm Millionaire {WoW}

Jan 20th 2011 3:16PM Seen plenty of fem dwarf pallies. And hunters. A few priests. One warrior. Recall a buzz of statements of those wanting to roll as a female dwarf shammy for cata.

Now death knights ... those are rare.

WoW Moviewatch: Cataclysm Millionaire {WoW}

Jan 20th 2011 3:12PM It's true. Nobody knows who the Blood Elf ruler is. I've seen some Wowwiki/paedia fluff, but nothing from my brief time as a Belf makes me recall the guy. It's like Blizz just put a name there just for people wanting to whack the Horde Leader of Silvermoon.

Blizzard Lackey: "Hey, we were just going over the new patch for this Lich King expansion. We need a name for the Blood Elf target for this achievement where you kill the Horde bosses and get a mount. All you told us was don't use the guy in the bandit mask."

Metzen: "(mumbling) Sargeras shot first, have to incorporate Kudran Wildhammer as one of the new Ironforge lead ... Wha? I didn't write anything down for a Blood Elf leader? Crap. Silvermoon, Silvermoon, ... no lore there, more there on ... wait, I got it!"

/Awesome video btw.

Know Your Lore: Honor, Krom'gar. Never forsake it. {WoW}

Jan 17th 2011 6:47AM The Dalaran Street Journal

Horde Offensive Halted By Ethics Panel

Orcs debate how far to take their bloodlust

ORGRIMMAR -- Warchief Garrosh called for a temporary cease-fire in the Alliance-Horde conflict after the Orcish military command went into an uproar over a recent revelation.

The atrocities in the Stonetalon Peaks -- and execution of Orcish Overlord Krom'Gar, who oversaw the ruthless and successful Horde military actions in the area, as well as a controversial punitive strike to partisans who killed a Horde general -- only came to light recently after the Web site Wonkyleaks detailed the incident from anonymous mercenary sources and leaked Horde reports.

"I let him go," was the only comment from the Warchief concerning his conversation with the late overlord, who was last seen being throttled by Garrosh while being held aloft over a cliff.

Orcish military high command has been in a frenzy since Krom'Gar's dismissal, but many of its members are publicly taking an obsequious tone as they wish not to join the overlord's fate. A few old high-ranking warriors, however, have privately disputed the Warchief's ruling, noting the mission was accomplished.

"We are currently reviewing conduct and procedures in the battlefield," a nervous speaker for the Orc overlords said after the Warchief's cease-fire decree. "After the panel comes to agreements and the Warchief approves their recommendations, our scribes may produce an updated Scroll of Conduct for our soldiers, fellow Horde members and contracted mercenaries to follow."

But lost are the common orc soldiers, who can't fathom following rules of conduct on a battlefield where souls are stolen, bodies ripped asunder and bases and graveyards raped.

"Has the Warchief Pro Tem lost his goddamn mind? Do those overlords in the fort remember what it's like to be the trenches?" said a veteran grunt who spoke on condition of anonymity. "This doublespeak is like Thrall's, only worse. I mean, it's one thing to be all preachy on the peace thing and still look the other way when you're bludgeoning guys from the other faction in the Eye of the Storm, Nagrand, Wintergrasp or other out-of-the-way places. This? Being all warlike and talking tough, fighting the Alliance when they're fighting a common foe or just standing there, then chickening out over some vague sense of honor and the fact you didn't like the way Krom'Gar got the job got done? It's like Garrosh be tellin' us, 'Yeah, I want you to kill them and be at war, but I want you to be all polite about it. No women, no children, no druidic college students.' The hell you say Warchief? You ain't been out here in the (expletive) where there are no rules. You be out here in the (expletive), it changes you bro. It's ruthless. Hell, Garrosh, I know you weren't on the battlefield in Northrend. Nah, big bad Garrosh be spending the whole damn time in that comfy fortress in front of the campfire, lookin' tough and tellin' the impressionable mercs to go kill some rats or deliver a message to walrus man or buffalo guy or whatever.

"And no women and no children? Please," the grunt added. "How the hell can you tell the difference between a kid and a gnome in the heat of battle? If something a foot tall is on the battlefield and ain't got friendly ID in the second I sees it, that's a dead little mofo, I don't care how old it is. I ain't gettin' my big green butt shanked by a kneecap-high gnome rogue no way no how. And has our seasoned veteran leader noticed most of them Nelfs and Drannies are chicks packing heat? Does our leader know they got vicious werewolves fighting for them now? Fanged, bloodthirsty, furious WEREWOLVES? Why should us Orcs limit ourselves? Besides, have you taken a good hard look at our fellow Horde members and their battlefield conduct? Warlocks with their evil magics and demon lackeys? The Trolls, who take frickin' heads and shrink them for trophies? The Blood Elves? They take a hit of magic essence if they sniff a hint of it off a corpse, and go crazy if the dead folk be wearing good threads. Our new battle brothers, the goblins? They practically check each body for gold teeth or silver fillings. And don't say the Tauren ain't violating no wartime convention rules, cause some bull that weighs a ton and wields a tree log for a weapon ain't gonna leave a corpse a mortician or necromancer could fix for an open casket funeral. But that's better than the Forsaken, who use enemy corpses for triage, buffet and potential recruits in undeath. So you're gonna call me, a trained killing machine of the Horde, 'honorless, paranoid or drunk on the bloodlust,' for how I got the job done? Whatever. My job is to kill whatever I'm pointed at. So what on how I did it. At the end of the fight, I'm gonna be alive and here to say in the face of my dead opponents, 'Lok'tar, mission accomplished! For the Horde mother (expletive)!' Oooh'aah!"

Asked in the Stormwind Throne Room on how the Alliance viewed the schism in Horde ethics, King Varian Wrynn, Worgen leader Genn Greymane and Draenei Emissary Taluun responded in unison a two-word comment which cannot be used in a family-friendly newspaper.

Their sentiment is echoed on the streets of Stormwind to the treehouses of Darnassus. "The only honor from a Horde warrior, is the points you get from killing one," Leafett Toomi, a Night Elf druid back from the Warsong Gulch skirmishes, said.

Know Your Lore: Garrosh Hellscream, part 1 {WoW}

Dec 4th 2010 6:56PM I want to know -- what is the shoulder armor of Garrosh in Cataclysm? It looks like he took a tentacle from the Old Gods and fashioned it into a shoulder harness.

That might not be a smart thing.

Know Your Lore: Theradras, Zaetar and the centaur {WoW}

Dec 1st 2010 6:03PM You're giving that a 2? That's effing generous. I'm measuring that on fractions, and getting into the microscopic percentages.

I skipped Maurodon years ago while leveling my toons, and only did the entire run for the first time this year with my druid alt (some of my other toons may have done a smidgen of the place, but never all of it, I hated it).

When I saw Thedras for the first time a few months ago with a guildie shammy and barely-level ready tank ... Over the mike: "To quote Big Trouble in Little China's Jack Burton in entering Lo Pan's palace and meeting the Guardian ... 'Oh, my god, no. Please! What is that? Don't tell me!'"

And after killing the bloated thing (and using battlerezes) ... "It will come out no more!"

Around Azeroth: The horror, the horror {WoW}

Nov 22nd 2010 4:32PM Titans Fight in Castle Halls

Bored Horde mercs stumble onto secret achievement

STORMWIND (Theldurin Server) - Tauren survivalist Perseus and his Blood Elf friend and fellow hunter Gunmoll recently caused a major earthshaking development in the streets of Stormwind, but they weren't the ones getting the attention.

Rather, they led the ultimate, joint Horde and Alliance kite raid into the chamber of Stormwind's King.

"We were kicking back brewskis and watching the telly or playing table soccer in Orgrimmar, and then power went out. We're all smashed and wanting something to do other than dare somebody to dance naked on the mailbox at the bank or kiss the ugliest Forsaken in the dark," Perseus said. "So somebody said, 'Hey, let's go kill Varian!' Then somebody else pipes up 'Nah, let's just wail on Gamon here! He's a boss now!' Then my friend Gunmoll, she says, 'Boys, let's do both.'"

Giving off that impatient sigh and flirt look Blood Elf females do, Gunmoll continued the story. "I told Perseus he and I would need to counter kite each other, maybe have a tank or two and some healers do the rest in tight spots like the zepplin to the Eastern Kingdoms or in Stormwind proper. Amazingly, Gamon didn't give up. He stayed on the ride and we kited him through Grom'Gol all the way to Stormwind. I know some Ally lowbies must have seen us going through the jungle and haunted forest, but I doubt their message was believed on the streets," she said.

After getting through the main gate, the usual hostility that Stormwind citizens and Alliance troops and adventurers give Hordies faded on sight of Gamon.

"We really had fun with it. We took him into the Auction House, and Gamon killed everyone in the room. That pissed off most of the Allies in there, but the ones who lashed out at the big Tauren suddenly got one-shotted. When the rest in there figured out who this angry Tauren was -- the reaction really surprised us. They were cheering for Gamon, us, and even trying to see if they could help out. Some tank and healer for them even took him for a kite run for a few blocks and into the throne room, that helped us out as the guards and spoilsports were swarming," Perseus said. "It was even more confusing as they had some event going on in Stormwind with civvies running all over the castle."

Eventually, the unusual raid got Gamon into range of King Varian Wrynn. Wrynn, who muttered something about slugging a then-pathetic Gamon and stealing his drink in a break at the Orgrimmar Arena in his days as Lo'Gosh, won the fight, but it took some time as Alliance and Horde members stood around the chamber and cheered. The Alliance adventurers and King Wrynn later killed slew or chased out the Horde when Gamon fell.

A spokesman for King Wrynn refused comment on the incident, though some guards were muttering off record about the travesty of Alliance adventurers helping Horde members in the affair.

Others in Stormwind were more receptive. "Dude, they need to do that again!" said Gnome mage Stygian and president of the new guild, Gamon's Alliance Fan Club. "Some of us in the city are actually petitoning Orgrimmar to let Gamon be a visitor here in Stormwind, or have the powers that be select a mighty drunkard of our own to pick fights with. Maybe we could kite that guy into Org and have him fight Gamon! A TITAN AGAINST A TITAN!!!!"

But the organizers of the raid didn't go unrewarded. After running back to Orgrimmar safe and sound, a dinging message came to both hunters. "Those of us that got into this raid, we got this flash and gold-embossed thingy when we entered the city -- "Secret Achievement: Kite Me! -- Get Gamon to Fight an Alliance Leader," Gunmoll said. "We were the talk of the town, believe me. Wish they'd have given us a title or mount though. Gunmoll the Kiter or a flying kite mount or toy would've been cool."

Gamon, legendary immortal drunk of Orgrimar, said he had a good time. "All a haze of faces, though I never had a bunch of iron-wearing pinkskin guards running up to me before. Heck, most of the Stormwind crowd was asking for my autograph and if they could stab me. I do remember the blue and white halls, that was kinda cool, and Varian's got a mane any Tauren with horn size problems would covet. I also heard this dwarf and human guy muttering something about drunken misadventures and injuries; I would've loved to have had some time with them, but I ran them over in my anger. I just wish someone would have let me check out the wine shops though."

Observing from a Youtube video, a Blizzard spokesman said they were unaware of the achievement ("someone must have been bored and coded it in,") but the oddball affair gave them an idea. "Hm, kiting one boss a long distance to fight another boss in a raid while fighting off legions of elite trash? We'll pitch that to the guys making the next round of instances."