Posts with tag advice

What is your guild all about? Many guilds are fairly easily described by their schedules and raid progressions (or their lack of either). More likely, though, the essence of your group -- the part that gives it its flavor and makes it stand apart from other guilds -- is somewhat trickier to describe. "Social," "casual," "raiding" ...These terms pretty much describe most guilds.

Even terms that seem fairly self-explanatory at first glance can be problematic for players trying to evaluate a potential fit. "We're a dedicated roleplaying guild." OK, so what's the spin? One RP guild might maintain a military structure and campaign, while another plays out some very adult-themed interpersonal dramas -- definitely not interchangeable concepts!

Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm.

We are still compiling our results edition, so if your letter was answered and you'd like to tell us what happened, please send an email to robin@wowinsider.com. In the meantime, let's talk about loot rules.

Dear Drama Mamas,

A few months ago I joined a guild so I could finally have some people to talk to (I tend to go alone for a long time until I see a guild that interests me) and to have the chance to raid. As I play a healer I was immediately accepted in the raid team and, although we're not even done with normal progress in the Mogu'shan Vaults, we've done relatively well. Some of the people in the guild are pretty nice and I like to be around and play with them, but there is one problem little that's been bothering me for a few weeks now: loot drama.

Our loot rules are simple: if you can use it for main spec, roll for it. Everyone seems to love that system, except for me. I prefer systems like EPGP or something similar because, in my opinion, when you're raiding with your guild you should be rewarded for commitment and not just luck (that opinion might or might not have something to do with my terrible luck... >.>).

There's so much more to joining a guild in World of Warcraft than clicking an uninvited newbie zone popup or replying to a random whisper while you're trying to quest. We wouldn't go so far as to say there's a science to getting it right; joining a guild is more of an art, an intersection of careful screening and social serendipity. While it's true that you can successfully fumble about in the relatively unpopulated leveling zones or run the dungeon and raid finders on your own, you'll enjoy a richer, more complete game experience if you play with other players as intended.

This guide is not about figuring out what type of guild might best suit you. (We've cover that in a future guide.) If you're unguilded or dissatisfied with your current guild but not quite sure how to describe the kind of group that would make your online gaming experience feel just right, consider this week's pointers as food for thought until we can analyze your own guild needs.

If you're ready to find a new guild right now, read on for the best ways to connect with a quality organization.

Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm.

Results! We want them! If you've written in to us and we've answered you, please send us an email letting us know what happened. We already have a few responses, but we'd like to collect a few more to fill up the next Drama Mama: Results Edition ... coming soon.

On to this week's letter:

I'm writing as a "preemptive strike". Like a good boy scout (err... girl who would be a good boy scout if she was a boy), I want to be prepared.

This would be excellent material for a Soap Opera or a Greek Tragedy, so grab some popcorn and enjoy.

I run a fairly big raiding guild (about 30 active raiders). Many of us are very close, and a few of us have hung out in real life. We know a lot about each others' lives and we laugh, cry and celebrate when life events occur.

Now to the fun part. Two of my officers (We'll call them "Ross and "Rachel") are married to each other. Ross is a raid leader. They have an open marriage (I don't judge and neither should anyone reading this). They're happy and comfortable in their marriage so as long as they're happy, I'm happy. I consider myself very close friends with this couple.

A poorly executed /guildquit is the kind of toxic drama bomb that can poison your online game experience forever. Even if you're fleeing drama, guild chaos, or interpersonal strife, wrecking shop on the way out the door does more harm than good. You may never want to play with or hear from those people again -- but chances are, you'll cross paths at some point in a group, another guild, a chat channel, or a forum.

Is moving on the right thing to do? Every situation is different, but if you find yourself even considering whether or not the grass might be greener in another pasture, it's time to take a good, hard look at what you want from your WoW play versus what you're actually getting. "This is your leisure time," notes Drama Mama Robin. "If your stress-relieving activity is doing the opposite, you need to make a change." And if you're sticking around based on trying to change someone else's behavior or hoping it changes on its own, she notes, you're wasting your own time. The only person you can control is yourself.

Leaving a guild is not the right solution if:

• You're doing it to teach someone a lesson or to make things difficult for someone in the guild. Smarter solution: Realize that you're not the arbiter of other people's behavior, and move on.
• You're doing it to direct attention to yourself or your views. Smarter solution: Get involved in guild life and business through normal channels.
• You don't actually want to leave. Don't be one of those drama llamas who /guildquit at every perceived slight and then expect to be welcomed back to the fold with warmth and open arms. Don't leave a guild if what you're really hoping is to elicit someone to beg you to come back. Leaving a guild is about moving on to something new. If you need to move on, move on. Smarter solution: Resolve your personal or guild issues through normal channels.

Every Monday, Scott Andrews contributes Officers' Quarters, a column about the ins and outs of guild leadership. He is the author of The Guild Leader's Handbook.

Today's email comes from a raid leader with three different questions regarding raid comps, bank mats, and problem raiders. Let's jump right into it!

Hello Scott,

I am currently a high officer in a a new 25 raiding guild, MT and fairly new raid leader. ... Recently, after a pug for MV, 4 new raiders decided to join our roster, enabling for us to have a full raid group. The issue comes then, in to parts:

Since the problems we've had finding raiders, we were "forced" to take those 4 new guild mates, making a core group not as efficient due to lack of variety, therefore buffs, abilities, cooldowns, etc. How inconvenient truely is this composition with repeated classes?

Furthermore, I would ask you for advice on how to encourage members to contribute with mats, Golden Lotus for example, to the gbank such as other raiding comodities?

Nevertheless, the main reason I was willing to write to you, is the fact that we have two of those new raiders too close-minded.

Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm.

Life is a continual learning experience. For example, I learned something from Lisa's advice this week. Hopefully this week's letter writer will too.

Hello Drama Mamas,

This doesn't qualify as drama, but I think it still fits into your category.

See I'm having trouble right now balancing WoW and College.

When I first started playing WoW I was a junior in college, who was no stranger to academic problems, but was making slow if steady progress to graduation. Enter WoW. I got expelled a year later, over poor grades.

Many of the letters the Drama Mamas receive are from players who don't actually have a problem they need or want to solve; they're simply seeking support and permission to move on. Boy, is it tough to let go! People naturally feel trepidation about leaving a known environment, even when it's the very thing making them unhappy. We cling to the familiar, losing sight of the fact that if we change nothing, nothing changes.

Sometimes, though, the best thing to do is to calmly pick up, dust off, and move on. While the columns we've linked below don't necessarily represent times the Drama Mamas thought moving on was the best or only solution, they do illustrate the tangle of denial many players find themselves in over circumstances that are right there in black and white.

You know it's time to move on when ...

1. Your guild condones or even promotes public drama.
2. Your guild has no firm rules.
3. You're expending emotional energy to tolerate an atmosphere that doesn't fit what you want from a guild.
4. You've made it a rule to refuse to group or speak with a guildmate who plays with you frequently.
5. You don't actually play with the people in your guild -- and you're lonely.

Did you know you could do this? We crowdsourced readers' favorite advice for Mists of Pandaria and patch 5.1, to show you all the little inside tidbits you just might have been missing. Included is an entire section of tips for streamlining your dailies -- don't miss 'em!

Let's rev up first with a few of our most recent tips and tricks posts:

• While there are limits to how far you can progress, you can start your farm as soon as you get to Pandaria -- no need to wait for level 90.
• Get exalted with Lorewalkers in an hour or less; collect all the lore objects for each "story" in a single, enjoyable session, or simply make sure you don't miss any nearby items while you're leveling.
• Murder this innocent creature, win fabulous prizes.
• Riding the Darkmoon carousel gives you a buff to XP and rep gains.
• I can turn into what? A baby panda?
• Tip: How to see if your Grand Commendation is active.
• Tip: Where to get new pets in old dungeons.
• Blingtron now helps you become a natty dresser.
• If you're a treant, here's how to become hot stuff.

Down your dailies and discover hidden delights with our collection of reader discoveries and advice, collected after the break.

Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm.

Mobs and justice don't tend to mix.

Drama Mamas,

I joined a new guild, and everything was great. People were happy and talkative, they were doing things together, and the guild leader had made it clear people could approach him if they had a problem with his leadership and he would step down if they thought someone would be better.

This lasted all of about 2 days after I joined. I came home and was immediately pulled into a conversation where I was told the leader was sexually harassing female members, sending them creepy messages and making them feel unsafe. This was serious, and the first thing I asked was did anyone bring this to him. I got a vague 'he was told' and no more information, so I accepted what they were telling me. They initiated a public vote on the forums to have him removed from the guild, after telling everyone unaware about it (before giving them a chance to hear the leader's side) and expected us to vote based on that.

Hear that cacophony of clacking and tapping? That's the sound of your fellow readers banging away at their keyboards to help us crowdsource the best tips, tricks, and pointers for Mists of Pandaria and patch 5.1. Let's tip off all our friends who never hit that one area of that zone over there. Or the ones trying the other faction for the first time in Mists. Or that dude who didn't catch what happens if you go over here and try this.

I wish I'd known about ...

Oh, WOW! Look what I just discovered ...

Heyyy! I didn't know you could ...

If your tip elicits that kind of response, it's the kind of pointer we're looking for. Need more inspiration? Check out our tips for doing those pesky daily quests or finding sweet little hidden quests. If we get enough good pointers, I'll compile them all up in one fat "just so's ya know" post.

So what hot tips would you be most hot to pass on to a friend who was just heading into Mists? What's your favorite don't-miss discovery or most sage piece of advice?

---

Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm.

Harassment comes in many forms. Sometimes it's a one-off, like last week's letter. The bullying was ongoing, but by different people in discrete incidents. Harassment can also be felt from generalized statements made to the public, such as racial remarks in trade chat. But this week, we talk about ongoing harassment or stalking. The actions we say to take are not for someone who was being harassed, but the stalker stopped. Nor are they for someone who just doesn't want to ever hear from another player, but nothing offensive has actually happened.

Stalking = ongoing harassment = a serious problem. This week, we tackle the issue by offering some advice to help reduce -- and hopefully eliminate -- this very harmful drama.

Mishandled humor is one thing. But stereotyping, disdain, and bullying? The WoW community has no room for players who've made those a part of their rotation.

Dear Drama Mamas,

Starting things off; I'm a Moonguard player. Hear that sound? I know you do, because the mere word Moonguard invokes it in so many players now; words like "obscene" or "immature" or "inappropriate" jump to mind. And it drives me absolutely crazy.

Let's get the obvious out of the way; Moonguard has a bad reputation because of Goldshire. And Silvermoon City. Okay, fine, yes, we get the point. But every single time I get into a group, every single time I enter a Battleground, or an Arena, the moment I even say anything (or sometimes when I haven't said anything yet), it begins. The more polite chuckleheads spew it into the public chat, every possible Moonguard joke and comment they can think of, and a couple of personal attacks against anyone who would dare to touch the place with a ten foot pole.

The less polite ones start whispering, telling you to get out of the group, or to disconnect, to stop being a child or stop being a freak of nature. Heaven help you if ANYONE in that dungeon group turns out to be bad, because it can and will get blamed on you. If your team ends up down 0/2 and you mention it's because so-and-so is dancing on the roof not attacking or defending, you could be in the enemy flag room, with the flag, having downed half of the other team solo, and it's your fault because you're a filthy Moonguard player (this is also about the time you get the wonderful suggestion that you should kill yourself).

Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm.

Sex.

Hello Ladies,

I am not sure if you can publish this as it's very adult themed but I am hoping you can because I really need your help! I honestly believe that if I was a man, this wouldn't even be an issue but for now this is really pulling me down.

About three months before the new expansion, I came back to WoW and joined what I thought was an awesome guild. I've been through my probation and for the most part it's been great fun.

The thing with this guild though is that it's very... sexually charged. Most threads get hijacked by something sexual and they even have a NSFW section that is filled with more naked photos than all the men's magazines combined. Even new members are greeted by sexual questions in their application thread. How you response to these questions seems to almost dictates how the guild will receive you.

Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm.

All About Eve: delicious drama, delicious acting, delicious writing. Do watch. This week's letter has not-so-delicious drama. Do read.

Dear Drama Mamas,

I met a person that I instantly hit it off with roughly 5 years ago. We became best friends almost overnight. She played DPS and I played a healer. We ran dungeons nightly together and formed a raid team where I was the main healer. We chewed glass weekly and the people in the raid were all awesome. We joked around, didn't get upset over wipes, and were generally stress-free; for a time, it was good.

Then there was the heroic ZG run.

I will never forget that night. It was my friend, myself, and an officer in the guild who I didn't know very well but was told was a cool guy. The tank was pugged. The tank had been a jerk to me throughout the entire run and wiped us twice because he kept attacking CCd targets then blaming it on me being a 'baddie'. So, I refused to heal him anymore. He could either leave the group, or we were kicking him in 10 minutes when the cooldown was up.