Dear Drama Mamas,
I've been playing this game for three or four years now (I'm still a teen, though) and I really wanted to ask you about something.
About two years ago, I first started raiding. I continued going to the pug many times, always with the same raid leader. (Let's call him R.) I started talking in vent with him and his guild, and raided with them quite a lot. I was really sheepish at first because: 1. I was a kid, 2. I'm afraid of social interaction, and 3. I'm a girl. Everything went fine though, for several months.
It was when R needed to go off to work, and couldn't lead the raids anymore when things got bad. I wasn't in his guild, but he felt that I could be trusted enough to be the raid leader. He passed it over to me, handed over his group macros for recruting, and told people I would be leading. He also put two people with me to be my raid assists. (Let's call them Andni and Pir. These are not their actual names.)
I would always start of the raid slightly paniced, but by the end I was joking around with everyone and having a good time. But during one Black Temple run, everything went bad.
Posts with tag advice
Hi WoW Insider Drama Mamas,
So ... I'm a WoW n00b. I get the impression I'm a rarity these days (even with the release of Mists of Pandaria) (I'm so n00b I've only recently worked out that WoW means World of Warcraft and not like "Hey, man, WoW!" with a badly placed capital letter).
IRL I'm a pretty outgoing bloke as well. I'm not short of mates, and friendly to most people I know. I even have a young family, and a wife I love very much. I'm an internet veteran who remembers ICQ and IRC chat. I've hung out on rock band and football club forums and successfully existed online there. I've played MMO style games before, in particular Second Life which is all about being social, and I've done well in the whole making friends thing there.
But when it comes to WoW, I don't seem to be able to strike it, socially at least.
I've got one mate on my friends list, who I know from RL; however, I worry I make him sick of me bugging him with my n00b questions. (What's the Dungeon Hunter? Where do I get leather from to make stuff with? Who's Leeroy Jenkins?)
I had a brief "fling" with a girl kind enough to take me on my first dungeon run. I kept dying. I'm sure she was laughing her head off. But she was very gracious, kind, and friendly. I friended her, however I think she's since culled me from her friends list which of course makes me sad, but hey maybe she had to cull her list because it was too busy for her to concentrate on playing perhaps. I understand that sort of thing completely and I'm certainly not hurt over it.
Other than that ... Every time I chat publicly to someone I'm either ignored or they run away. Comments in the casual guild I've joined seem to get ignored. And like I say, I don't want to drown my RL mate in-game either. Would love to see what you both have to say. What makes the WoW denizen different from other online hangout denizens?
This week's letter writer is busted.
Dear Drama Mamas,
I recently had a bit of a blow-up with a guild I used to be in that's really making me feel kinda crappy about myself...and I'm not really sure if it wasn't my fault.
Okay, so I was a casual member (i.e, not a raider) in a raiding guild with a female GM who has an....admirer, I'll call him B. B is a core raider who flirts openly and rather explicitly at times with GM (also a raider) over guild chat. GM does nothing to encourage it, but nothing to discourage it either, and as far as I know she's already in a relationship, and she and B live in different parts of the country. She added me to Real ID so we chatted and still do from time to time - I have no romantic interest in her whatsoever since I'm already in a relationship.
This week, an admittedly WoW-obsessed player overshoots the mark while ramming his partner through what was intended to be an enjoyable Recruit-A-Friend introduction to WoW.
I have a little problem that the two of you may be able to help with. I am a slightly obsessive WOW player (9 max level toons) who is currently in the honeymoon phase of a relationship. I have been able to convince my partner to join me in game and we are currently using the recruit a friend option. I am running him on my Protection Warrior while he plays his Mage.
The thing is we are leveling so fast in dungeons that I am unable to convey the lore behind the things we are doing. All of the things that I loved about the game when I first started (the discovery, exploration, story etc.) are not carrying over to his experience in game. And when I look at things through his eyes I feel as if we are indeed playing a very boring game. He seems more glad it's over when we finish dungeon rather than excited and ready to see what's next.
I know he only joined the game to spend more time with me since I would regularly leave him to his own devices while I got my WOW fix in and I would really like for him to enjoy it as much as I do. And who am I kidding the more time he wants to play with me the less time I spend feeling selfish and guilty that I am not spending time with him outside of the game when I play. I suggested that we do BG's but he is a little bit apprehensive about diving into those and who could blame him he is a level 70 Mage with barely enough play time to be level 20.
What would you guys suggest that I do or incorporate into our playtime with each other to make it more interesting for someone seeing WOW for the first time but playing the game with a seasoned vet? Should I bite the bullet pull off my heirlooms and quest alongside him even if doing this would make me into the bored one? He is really eager to learn the game and I am sure that he would enjoy it as much as I do if I could convey even a little bit of the experience that I had in the beginning.
No time to smell the roses
Do you play WoW with someone you secretly have a crush on? How is that working out for you? This week's letter writer is worried, and Lisa and I disagree as to what to do about it.
Hello Drama Mamas,
I am a very happy WoW player, enjoying every aspect of the game and always being able to find something funny and rewarding to do - I have done Arena, Raiding, leveling and also achievement hunting with the same level on enjoyment - I truly love this game and what it has to offer me. Despite enjoying end game content I am not the player that like the environment of a progressing raid guild or a pvp Guild that runs RBGs or other high-ranked PvP action; I am one of those players that is able to play regularly with a casual approach. This is the first step that made me join a "Casual/Social" Guild about one year ago; there, I found a lot of players with my same interests and since then I had even more fun playing this game.
Context is king, right?
Here are a bunch more things you should (probably) never say in game. Robin's even brought in a fresh take on the infamous #7 from last week. (It's at #7 this week, too.) Click the links on each entry if you want more context. Click, click.
- "Well, maybe we should give her another chance or three -- after all, she's gay/young/old/single/a parent ..." Your fellow players are real people with real lives and real problems, sure -- but at some point, inappropriate or downright bad behavior is simply not cool.
- "It's just a game. Real life should be separate from a guild." Are you guilded with real people? Then it's real life. The game is just the medium you are using to interact with them.
- "I just think everyone/another party should know about the bad things that this person is doing..." Big yellow caution flag. Nothing good can come from butting into a situation in which you're only a bystander without complete information. Appropriate action -- then back off!
- "It should be a rule that everyone has to say hello to guildies when they log on. And they need to grats everyone too." Gosh, wouldn't that be sincere and meaningful. /sarcasm
- "What I said was only words -- and besides, he deserved it." That's what an online environment is, "only words." Those words and their effects are still quite real. Don't take an eye for an eye in WoW. Nobody deserves poor behavior in return for mistakes of their own.
For my part, my answer would be exactly the same: Zen Flight. This minor monk glyph won't be released until Mists of Pandaria, so you can't find it in game yet. But you can see my monk Krikkit above being all zen-like in the beta.
Wouldn't it be great to float in line at the grocery store, looking all relaxed and glowy? Sure, people would look at me funny, but they do that already -- I have shocking pink hair. Oooh the Zen Flight colors would look great with pink, wouldn't they? Hmmm ... maybe a bit too 80s.
Anyway, I could use it everywhere. Waiting for mass transit? Yes. Crossing the street? Yes. Disneyland? Yes, please.
What spell would you most want in the physical world and why?
Filed under: Breakfast Topics
When Lisa and I started to tackle this list, we thought we'd come up with 5 or 10. But after looking back over the advice we've given since we started this column, we discovered that there are many more un-smart things to say that are almost guaranteed to cause drama. Captain Obvious helped with many of them as usual, but some of these no-nos are not so apparent.
- "Yeah, I know the requirement is 18 years and up -- but everyone says I act mature for my age." If you have to excuse your age, you won't fit in. Find a guild or group that won't be making exceptions even to simply include you.
- "But Mooom, you SAID I could play an HOUR!" Don't whine for more. Tell Mom how much time you need and why: "I can zip through all my dailies and banking – those are the chores my character uses to make money and maintain her stuff -- in about an hour and 20 minutes."
- "Yeah, baby, I love you too – oh crap, sorry guys, I'm on the phone here and I didn't see that one from the side coming towar – yeah, baby, I heard you! Sure! We'll leave in 20 minutes!" If you're going to play with the group, turn off other distractions. If your girlfriend won't leave a phone message, perhaps you should be spending that time with her instead!
When continued pain seems inevitable, sometimes treating ourselves with respect means making a measured retreat. The trick is knowing which situations merit dogged perseverance and which deserve said measured retreat.
Hey Drama Mamas
I am a raid leader for my guild, I handle guild progression and the GM handles farming and alt runs, After a long struggle we finally are all set up to make some serious momentum in Mists of Pandaria after using DS to bolster our ranks. Furthermore about 2 years ago I brought my girlfriend into the game and guild.
Recently one of the guild members we picked up in dragon soul started raiding heavily with us. He quit his other guild where he had lots of friends to join us. I am a tank and for our progression I asked him to be my Co-tank. We did arenas together for a while and became fairly close. Then the other day my girlfriend (also on the progression team) and I broke up. If that was not enough, she then started dating my Co-tank. I found out that the two of them had been in contact ever since they first raided together.
Actions. Consequences. Drama.
Hello Drama Mamas,
When I joined over two years ago, our 25-man raiding guild used a 2-headed GM system. Of course, only one had the guild controls, but they would pass things back and forth at times and had equal say in policy. Over a year ago, one of them, the creator of the guild left the game due to some heavy real life issues. Guild control was passed to the other, and another co-GM was assigned. We were told often that the old GM would be returning soon, but none of us ever heard from him.
Lisa and I love it when parents parent and teens try to reason with them rather than just mindlessly rebel.
To the Drama Mamas,
I am a teen male who plays WoW and has for about a year and a half. I enjoy playing and have a joined a good guild with several good irl friends and enjoy the game immensely, however my parents don't seem to have the same perspective.
My parents limit the time I can spend on the game to about one hour every day which is not something I am particularly fond of.
I may not be the Mr. Outdoors my father hoped for, but I get good grades and am not involved in any of the bad things that occur in school or in my age group.
I'm not usually a fan of Coldplay, but my new favorite show, Newsroom, made me like this song. It's also appropriate for this week's letter. Note: You can't fix people.
Hey Drama Mamas,
I'm writing you guys to talk about a situation that is on the brink of breaking open. Just to say ahead of time, this is a situation of a couple who are in the upper ranks. She is an officer, one of two and he is the raid leader.
As the GM, I leave the raid leading to my raid leader. I participate in the raids as well, but I prefer not to be the one giving all the directions in the middle of fights. The issue is his fiance. We'll call her A. Out of the two, she wears the pants. More often than not, she is either talking over the raid leader ( we'll call him B) or running the show through him where the rest of us cannot hear (their computers are right next to each other). This wouldn't be much of an issue, but it undermines the person I put in charge so when he actually tries to lead, our others don't give him the respect and attention he needs. Often times, I will step in and start calling the shots when things get too out of hand.
So let's have it. Give me your best pandaren pun names. Go on, let it all out -- I know you've been aching to share all the absolutely terrible puns you've been thinking up. Here's your chance to unleash all those pent-up puns you've been dying to inflict on people. I'm only saying this once though, so you better get it all out while you can. And when I'm done reading the comments and laughing, I never want to hear another pandaren pun again.
Well, maybe one or two more. Just for giggles.
Filed under: Breakfast Topics
Brownie points to the person who can concoct a connection between the above video and this week's letter. I failed. I was just in the mood for the song.
Dear Drama Mamas,
I've been thinking of writing for some time, and have reached the tipping point. There is one obnoxious and rude guy in guild who ruins the fun for the overwhelming majority of the rest of us. He curses, bullies, and complains nearly constantly in guild chat in what has to be intentionally improper English (since still spells his class incorrectly after years of playing), and yells loud obscenities in vent if he doesn't win a drop. He shows a lack of respect for everyone (and our time) by coming to raids woefully unprepared (like tanking in an alt group without an offspec so he has to be MT, without gems or enchants and improperly specced, while not knowing what he needs to do in his new role and not knowing his own abilities) and causing us to spend hours on wipes and not be able to complete the run. The GM is stuck in a place where she's damned if she does and damned if she doesn't, because if he doesn't come he makes things even more miserable for everyone. No one is sure why she puts up with him, because he's been rude and very inappropriate to her as well.
We fear change. Sometimes change is good, though. Change caused a bit of a problem in this week's letter.
Dear Robin & Lisa,
I'm in a middling-sized roleplaying guild on Argent Dawn (EU). We hold casual RP just about every evening and when we roleplay any combat, it's usually done in the form of an emote battle, with a simple rolling mechanic (/roll 1-100) used only when it's really, really needed.
Then, out of nowhere, our GM and deputy posted up a new set of roleplaying rules on the guild forums. These D&D-esque rules asked that each player pick a series of passive bonuses and active abilities to attach to their roleplaying character(s). Later on, we found out that the idea for and most of the work on this new set of rules had come not from our two leaders, but from a brand new guildie, and that he had worked this out with our leaders on Skype long before anyone else was notified.