Breakfast Topic: What's the best excuse you've ever heard?

Now you would think this was ridiculous enough on its own, but he then made a long, detailed, thought-out post on the guild forums about how he was fine and so was the neighbor and she had a little boy and he was just beautiful ... he waxed on and on and on. Someone asked him to post a picture of the child, at which point he promptly made some excuse about scheduling and quietly left the guild. For the next few months, anyone going AFK would blurt "AFK-having-baby" in vent as fast as they could and crack everyone up.
Players all have their own reasons for going AFK, or even calling off to a raid. But sometimes the excuses are just that -- excuses. And that's where the Warcraft player base seems to shine in creativity. Assisting with childbirth has to be the one of the toppers on my list, right up there with the guild member that went AFK to answer the door with a gun (I ... never really did find out the details on that one, but I don't think I really wanted to know), and "The pool is on fire." So let's hear it guys -- what are the best excuses you've ever heard for calling off or sudden AFK's?
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