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Posts with tag cardboard-assassin

Two Bosses Enter: Ozruk wins Cataclysm Season 1

In Two Bosses Enter, WoW Insider's series of fantasy death matches, the bosses of World of Warcraft face off in the squared circle. Your vote determines who wins and claims the season title.

Within the tournament administration pavilion, Vanessa delicately turned the pages of the ponderous Tome of Champions, which sat upon a stone pedestal engraved with the righteous fist of the Silver Hand. It was the record book of all who have won and lost in sanctioned gladiatorial battle in Azerothian history, though Vanessa did not know the difference between sanctioned and unsanctioned or who even sanctioned it to begin with.

After many patient moments, she reached the record of the most recent gladiatorial season. The brackets were an unholy mess, largely thanks to her interference, with countless matchups hastily crossed out and refilled with her name or that of those in her employ in place of the original combatants. A glorious, sneaky campaign to be sure, but it wasn't enough: Ozruk's name had gone into the records as the winner of the season despite her efforts. She sneered and turned the page again.

A pleased gasp escaped Vanessa's lips. The brackets for the next season were blank! Not a single person had registered yet! She quickly slipped a fountain pen from her tunic and set it to paper.

She only managed to get down a single name before Tirion Fordring stormed up behind her. "Vanessa! What do you think you're doing, girl!? Get away from that! I will not let you continue to make a mockery of this tournament!"

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Two Bosses Enter: Cataclysm Season 1 finals

In Two Bosses Enter, WoW Insider's series of fantasy death matches, the bosses of World of Warcraft face off in the squared circle. Your vote determines who wins and claims the season title.

"Today, in the left corner, stands the guardian of the World's Heart!" Tirion's voice rose to a crescendo to be heard over the explosive cheering of the audience and the music thundering forth from the gnomish sound projectors. "Ozruk!"

Break yourself, break yourself
Break yourselves upon my body
Break yourself, break yourself
Break yourselves upon my body ...


And so it went. A frown grew on Tirion's face, displeased with the so-called hippity-hop, but what the audience wanted, the audience would get. The moment the music faded, the old crusader motioned to the other corner. "In the right corner stands ..." Tirion leaned forward, squinting to make out the form far below. He sighed deeply. "Vanessa, what are you doing here? Where is the Cardboard Assassin? And why are you wearing that chapeau?"

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Two Bosses Enter: Whitemane and Mograine vs. ... wait, what?

In Two Bosses Enter, WoW Insider's series of fantasy death matches, the bosses of World of Warcraft face off in the squared circle. Your vote determines who wins and claims the season title.

The Crusaders, Sally Whitemane and Renault Mograine, stepped into the Two Bosses arena, well-rested after their bout with Forgemaster Throngus. The Cardboard Assassin had already been assembled in the opposite corner, swaying uneasily with the deafening roar of the gathered crowd.

Tirion Fordring rose from his seat and spread his arms to silence the audience. The moment the cheering stalled, Tirion motioned to Whitemane and Mograine. He bellowed, voice gruff and rumbling. "Today, in the left corner, heralding from the Tirisfal Glades of the fallen Kingdom of Lordaeron, we have the Scarlet Crusaders, Champions of the Light, bane of the unholy Scourge."

Tirion motioned in the other direction. "In the right corner, heralding from the forges of Westfall, stands the Cardboard Assassin, slayer of men and gods alike."

"Champions," Fordring shouted, "are you rea--"

The arena floor burst into flames, flooding the coliseum with smoke and cutting Lord Fordring's words short, driving the audience into sudden silence. The fires were extinguished as quickly as they came, and a woman stood in their place, obscured amidst the smoke. "Well," she observed, "this hardly seems fair."

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Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Two Bosses Enter

Two Bosses Enter: Ozruk vs. Eregos

In Two Bosses Enter, WoW Insider's series of fantasy death matches, the bosses of World of Warcraft face off in the squared circle. Your vote determines who wins and claims the season title.

Readers have been saying all along that Ozruk is going to sweep this tournament, and he's on course to do just that. He's in for his most difficult battle yet this week, however. Could Eregos, Wrath of the Lich King Two Bosses Enter champion, pull out a win over him?

Remember, audence -- we've put a roof on the Two Bosses Enter arena. Eregos is a formidable opponent, but he cannot just fly away and call it a win!

Who wins?
Ozruk3965 (59.2%)
Eregos2734 (40.8%)


In last week's matchup, Shadowfang Keep's Baron Ashbury went head to head with the corrugated menace. How did he fare?



Follow along for the details of this week's matchup, as well as discussion on last week's match.

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Two Bosses Enter: Baron Ashbury vs. Cardboard Assassin

In Two Bosses Enter, WoW Insider's series of fantasy death matches, the bosses of World of Warcraft face off in the squared circle. Your vote determines who wins and claims the season title.

A grave mistake was made when the Cardboard Assassin was allowed into the Two Bosses Enter tournament. The world severely underestimated the power of the comedy option. This week, can the menace of Baron Ashbury overcome the hilarity of the Cardboard Assassin?

Who wins?
Baron Ashbury3042 (44.2%)
Cardboard Assassin3837 (55.8%)


In last week's matchup, Throngus the Forgemaster slammed face-first into the Scarlet Crusade's Whitemane and Mograine. Was his skull thick enough to pull it off?



Follow along for the details of this week's matchup, as well as discussion on last week's match.

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Two Bosses Enter: Ozruk vs. Lord Godfrey

In Two Bosses Enter, WoW Insider's series of fantasy death matches, the bosses of World of Warcraft face off in the squared circle. Your vote determines who wins and claims the season title.

The Sweet Sixteen of this Two Bosses Enter tournament has come to a conclusion, and we officially enter the Crazy Eights. Ozruk and Lord Godfrey step back up to the plate this week for a cataclysmic battle.

Who wins?
Ozruk5874 (68.5%)
Lord Godfrey2707 (31.5%)


In last week's matchup, it was assassin versus assassin: Vanessa VanCleef faced down our final wild card competitor, the Cardboard Assassin.



Follow along for the details of this week's matchup, as well as discussion on last week's match.

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Two Bosses Enter: Vanessa VanCleef vs. Cardboard Assassin

In Two Bosses Enter, WoW Insider's series of fantasy death matches, the bosses of World of Warcraft face off in the squared circle. Your vote determines who wins and claims the season title.

The shadows part, and this week's contestants are revealed! Vanessa VanCleef, kingpin of the reborn Defias Brotherhood, will go head-to-head with the Cardboard Assassin, the finest tank Azeroth has ever seen.

Who wins?
Cardboard Assassin6280 (58.0%)
Vanessa VanCleef4540 (42.0%)


In last week's matchup, Baron Ashbury and the Construct of Life Ammunae fought each other to a near stalemate, thanks to their equally impressive healing capabilities. However, a winner did pull through ... eventually.



Follow along for the details of this week's matchup, as well as discussion on last week's match.

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Filed under: Two Bosses Enter

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