Posts with tag humor

The Classifieds is a weekly roundup of news from around the WoW community. Your host for this week is the ever-so-shadowy Fox Van Allen, filling in for a vacationing Lisa Poisso in exchange for an undisclosed sum of pirate treasure. As always, if you have guild news or a Random Act of Uberness to share, send it in to TheClassifieds@WoW.com.

If there are 50 ways to leave your lover, then there must be at least 100 different ways to leave a guild. There's the middle-of-an-argument /gquit, the log-on-in-the-middle-of-the-night-so-no-one-sees-you /gquit, the passive-aggressive /gquit, and of course, the I-illegally-sold-my-WoW-account-on-Craigslist-to-buy-a-ten-year-old-dirtbike /gquit.

I think I have a new favorite, though: The tauren-trapped-in-a-night-elf's-body /gquit. Milkmenot (Boulderfist [US-H]), formerly Slimbones (Uldaman [US-A]), wrote one of the most creative goodbye notes to his guild that I've seen in a long time:

I have a confession I need to make, it's something that has been bothering me for quite some time and I need to get it out there. I've been having these feelings. It started out just around town in Dalaran when I would see this Tauren going by. Our eyes would meet, just briefly, and all these feelings would well up inside. I'd try to follow her, intrigued by her curves and horns, but then she always goes into that Horde-only area and I would get booted out. So I'd hang around the entrance there just hoping to sneak a peek.

The rest of the goodbye note -- and so much more -- is available just after the break.

Here at WoW.com we're on a Daily Quest (which we try to do every day, honest) to bring you interesting, informative and entertaining WoW-related links from around the blogosphere. Is there a story out there we ought to link or a blog we should be following? Just leave us a comment and you may see it here tomorrow! Take a look at the links below, and be sure to check out our WoW Resources Guide for more WoW related sites.

It's the weekend! That time when we aren't shackled by workday worries and can kick back, relax, and half some fun. To further this purpose, some posts from the WoW blogosphere in the past week (or so) that have made me laugh -- and perhaps they'll make you laugh, too.

• It's no flowchart, but Destructive Reach has a pie chart documenting time spent in WoW.
• Blame Squelchy tells us what the Lich King has to say to those who wield Shadow's Edge.
• I Like Bubbles remains near and dear to my heart by continuing to post flowcharts (and things bearing a suspicious resemblance to flowcharts). Enjoy a basic raiding strats flowchart and the math behind assembling a raid.
• Pew Pew Lazers offers an arcane mage DPS flowchart.
• World of Matticus covers raid strategy using MS Paint.
• Bible of Dreams talks about auto-attack. And stir-fry.
• Miss Medicina breaks up with greater-heal.

It was just on Sunday that we first heard about a Guild Christmas special, and now here it is. The Guild gang have decided that the web series thing isn't really happening with the money, so they're taking the advice of commenters and selling out with six different pieces of merchandise, one for each Guild member. They're actually pretty funny, from a Codex "answer Orb" to a talking Tinkerballa doll to a Vork unbreakable bank (unfortunately, all of the items have been recalled for various reasons). There's some cool guest stars in the mix as well -- see if you can spot Heroes' James Kyson Lee (in a Delorean!) and our buddy Alex Albrecht, along with a few other familiar faces.

Good stuff, and man, The Guild crew is getting really good at making some quality video. No word whether these will show up on Xbox Live at all (they're actually out now on YouTube, so this may just be something the guys did for fun, outside of the Microsoft agreement), but you can watch them all right now above. Merry Christmas, guildies! All I really want for Christmas is a Vork unbreakable bank -- in these troubled times, it's really the safest thing to do with your hard earned money.

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Like The Guild? We do, too! We've got all the episodes of season 3 posted: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, and episode 12 above. We've also chatted with all of the folks at BlizzCon, including Felicia Day, Sandeep Parikh, and Jeff Lewis and Michele Boyd. And as if that wasn't enough Guild, here's the liveblog of their panel, and the guys were nice enough to stop by our meetup as well. Stay tuned for more Guild here on WoW.com!

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Hats off to Tree Bark Jacket for capturing this utterly magnificent video from Icecrown's gunship battle encounter, and a plea to any and all developers reading this; you can never go wrong combining lolbares with explosives. Or rocket launchers. Or laser gun-sights with auto-lock targeting on the rogue who just stole our new tanking belt.

It's that time of year again -- if you (like me) haven't gotten gifts for everyone on your list, it's time to start scrambling to find something nice to get under the tree this year. Fortunately, you don't have to worry about finding something good for the World of Warcraft fan in your life: we've got you covered there. In the gallery below, we've got a nice bunch of gift ideas for everything Warcraft, from the cheap to the expensive, from the silly to the practical, from in-game presents you can wrap with shiny paper, to out-of-game classics that you can... also wrap with shiny paper. If you need to give a gift to a WoW player this year, you'll find it below for sure.

And if you happen to be a Warcraft player, faced with the annual awkward question of "What do you want me to give you this year?", just feel free to drop this link surreptitiously as a reply, maybe even with a hint or two towards a specific item. We've included links to everything and kept it easy to understand even for someone who hasn't visited Azeroth before. That's our gift to you. Happy holidays, and good gift hunting!

I had an idea like this one -- a site that would allow you to rate anything at all (from a new movie to the casserole your aunt makes), and then let other people share their own opinions about whatever you rated. My idea never got off the ground (standard operating procedure for the idea mill I call my mind), but reader Antoine apparently had the same idea, and built it specifically for the WoW universe. WoW Ratings is kind of a silly site with some interesting outcomes: basically it's a database of everything in the game, from bosses to zones to game features or what have you, and you can come along and rate whatever you want on a scale of 1 to 5. The ratings don't actually mean anything (though Antoine has them listed as qualities from Uncommon up to Legendary), so it's really just a broad temperature-taking of the World (of Warcraft) at large.

The most interesting screen is probably the "Best and Worst" screen (which you can reach by clicking on the toolbar at the top of the homepage -- note to Antoine: permalinks are your friend, scale back on the javascript), where, as of this writing, Hakkar the Soulflayer is sitting on top of the heap, and the Voice Chat patch and Darnassus are sitting in the bottom 10. No Fandral Staghelm yet, strangely, but I'm sure things will get shaken up after all you readers head over there (and if the site's a little shaky under the flood of our link, give it time to get back on its feet). Sure, it's a little silly, and it's not so much a "resource" as it is just a free-for-all of player opinions, but it is interesting to see kind of a meta-overview of what players do and don't like. Useless features for the loss, old school raid bosses for the win.

Our podcast is back on the air today at 3:30pm over on Ustream, and it's gonna be a hum dinger, as the old folks used to say. We'll welcome Matthew "Matticus" Low on with us, so we'll definitely be talking some healing, and The T will be back on with us after his absence last week. Should be a great time -- we'll be chatting about the most popular stories in the World of Warcraft, including (but not limited to) the latest PTR build, the Battle.net changeover, and how, probably soon, you'll be able to send items back and forth between factions.

Plus we'll answer your emails as usual, since that's always a good time. Be sure to tune in and join us -- the show goes live at 3:30pm Eastern today, and you can listen on our Ustream page, via the Ustream iPhone app, or on the embedded stream below. You can also tune in a little early (like 20 minutes) if you want to hear us chatting during the preshow while we set everything up, or stay a little later to join us during the aftershow, where we turn off the recording and just chat live directly with the chat-room. It'll definitely be a lot of fun, so if you're around and available, tune in! See you there.

Hallow's End is almost upon us, and Blizzard has once again announced their annual pumpkin carving contest. This is always a hoot -- I was only ever able to do the usual jack-o-lantern (once I did a Batman symbol, but it never really worked out), but there are always some real professionals in the mix on these contests, as you can see in the gallery below. Basically, carve a pumpkin featuring something Blizzard-related, showing "high levels of originality, craftsmanship, and possibly humor," light it up with a candle or other source, and then submit a picture over on the site by two weeks from today, Wednesday, October 28th.

And some nice prizes this year: the top five submissions will all pick up a nice 32gb iPod touch, apparently supplied by none other than Apple (and of course you'll be able to run those Blizzard mobile apps if you win). Good luck to everyone who enters -- go grab your knife and the biggest "gourd-like squash" you can find and get to carving!

To go along with their recently created Twitter accounts, Blizzard has now started up an official YouTube channel as well. Right now, the channel just contains animations and cinematics that we've mostly seen before (not that we mind watching that Burning Crusade cinematic for the umpteenth time), but we presume that in the future, we might see newly released videos, including possibly interviews with Blizzard staff, and maybe even some (gasp!) gameplay videos as well.

Whoever's in charge of social media over at Blizzard has really been working it lately -- we can't wait to see their Last.fm account (Most Played: the artists formerly known as Level 80 Elite Tauren Chieftain) or their OkCupid account (Adam Holisky & Alex Ziebart would be at least 87% friends with Ghostcrawler, no question). Definitely fun to see Blizzard, historically a very closed-door company, opening up a little bit to the various outlets where they can correspond with fans.

Ok, admittedly, this is about as far away from the World of Warcraft as we go on this site, but stick with me here, it'll be worth it for the jokes: Blizzplanet has discovered that Blizzard COO Paul Sams and his family are now major shareholders in the Pittsburgh Steelers, of all things. The connection seems a little hard to find, until you check the rest of the list: Thomas Tull is also a shareholder, and he happens to be CEO of Legendary Pictures, the same company that has made a deal with Sams and Blizzard to make the Warcraft movie. I can't say I know that many CEOs personally, but I have to imagine that the conversation went something like, "Hey, wanna own part of a football team with me?" And who would pass up an opportunity like that?

Fortunately for Sams and his team, they're supposed to do pretty well this year (and of course they're coming off of a Super Bowl win last year), so the investment is likely a good one. But, more importantly, we can now point out that if the Steelers make their way to the conference championships and half of Blizzard travels to Pittsburgh to see the game, we'll know why the patch isn't coming out that week.

Sure, the Cataclysm trailer was cool and all, but did it seem like it was missing a little something? That little something may have been the Wowcrendor touch. Fortunately, Wowcrendor has remade the trailer in his own unique style (he says on the YouTube page that it's an early cut Blizzard eventually scrapped for obvious reasons), and you can watch the result above.

As with Wowcredor's other videos, the satire is piled on in heaps, from MS Paint-ed lava to a nice dig at rated battlegrounds, and a nice little coda about Barrens chat (given, that's a pretty big comedy target to hit, but Wowcrendor hits it anyway). Funny video, and proof that no matter how awesome Cataclysm sounds, odds are that we'll still be playing the same game with the same people.

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