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Posts with tag husband

Drama Mamas: Tips on getting wife back into WoW

Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with the Drama Mamas. Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are real-life mamas and experienced WoW players -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. We're taking your questions at

Before I show you the letter this week, I'm going to fully disclose my sympathies here. First of all, I can't stand high-maintenance players. Questions about things? Yes, please. But "ne1 help me?" over and over (particularly if it's something above your level) means a polite warning followed by a gkick if not heeded -- also mockery about the use of "ne1." Ask once for help on something and if no one answers, it's not that they didn't hear you. It's not that they are mean and unhelpful. It means they are too busy with their own fun to help you at this time.

On the other hand, I totally feel the pain of being married to someone with a different playstyle. The Spousal Unit is an accomplished raider. I'm an altoholic casual who is increasingly more and more RP-curious. We used to have wonderful times playing SWG and CoH together. But we have rarely been able to match up our playstyles since we moved to Azeroth. Mostly I blame him, fairly or unfairly, because he won't make a WoW duo with me. Jack and Jane Blaze were so fun! /sigh But it takes two to tango. And if he would rather go line dancing with his raider buddies, then I either need to get a pair of purple cowboy boots or see if I have better success convincing him to do the hustle. Tired of dancing around the drama? Then turn the page.

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Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Drama Mamas

Drama Mamas: Wife aggro

Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with the Drama Mamas. Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are real-life mamas and experienced WoW players -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. We're taking your questions at DramaMamas (at) WoW (dot) com.

Wife aggro (GF aggro, SO aggro -- whatever you call it at your place) isn't about WoW. Let's get that misconception out of the way right now. Wife aggro is about balancing a relationship with a hobby that tantalizingly dangles one person physically in front of yet emotionally light years beyond the reach of the other partner. Wife aggro is about attention – who's giving it where, who's not getting enough. Wife aggro is about what happens when couples lose their grip on how to separate "me" time from "us" time, on how "being at home" is different than "being available." Wife aggro is about what happens when the wires of "my" time, "your" time and "our" time become crossed and start arcing angry, white-hot sparks. And left unchecked, wife aggro is about demands that cast one partner as the shrill arbiter of what the other partner is "allowed" to do and be.

Dear Mamas: I started WoW this year after many years of patient waiting until all the planets and resources aligned for me, and I was completely rewarded. During those times I was able to play 3-4 hours (at least) almost daily, having no personal issues because of the game (I'd still go to work, the gym, dancing classes, read, watch TV, out with friends, and last but not least, my girlfriend), and started getting invited to my Horde guild's raids.

But then I got married. In spite of having talked about it with my fiancé before the big step and agreeing I'd still play it casually, the first weeks were hell ... Every time I'd even try to look at my computer, she would invent something for us or me to do, and my gaming "time" was pushed back and back. Finally the bubble popped and we had a huge argument, and the best I could get from her was one
WoW day a week.

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Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Tips, WoW Social Conventions, Virtual selves, Features, Drama Mamas

Officers' Quarters: Ball and chain

Every Monday Scott Andrews contributes Officers' Quarters, a column about the ins and outs of guild leadership.

With Ulduar proving to be more difficult than Naxx, raid leaders are focusing more and more on performance issues. Raids are finding out that they can't just carry their weakest players through this ancient Titan stronghold the way they could through Kel'Thuzad's floating magical loot pinata. One raid leader in particular has a performance issue with a bit of a twist: The problem player is the wife of one of his best raiders.

I warn people that this is a long e-mail, but it is well written and the details are important to what follows. TLDR version is after the break!

Hello, Scott

I am an officer in my guild and a raid leader for a semi-casual raid (non-Heroic). I am facing a problem that seems perhaps not too uncommon for this type of environment, but it is one I do not know how to fix.

One of the best raiders in our guild has ended up in my raid. I'm very lucky to have him as he is a great guy and fits well with our group, but unfortunately he came with a problem: his wife. Despite having no raiding experience, I agreed to let her join us in the raid. I was hesitant, but I figured that she would pick up things quickly, especially surrounded by skilled raiders in a relatively casual atmosphere.

However, to say she is a horrible player is to put it nicely. At first, I was not worried because she was new, but as we enter the sixth month of the raid and she's seen absolutely zero improvement, I am now concerned to say the least. She has a perfect failure rate on any sort of raid encounter where you have to avoid or move out of something that will kill you. She has NEVER lived through either Heigan or Grobbulous and regularly dies in Kel'Thuzad and other fights requiring alertness. Most of the times she survives things is due to the strong healers in the raid, not her own actions [. . .]

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Filed under: Officers' Quarters (Guild Leadership)

All the World's a Stage: Going to the Chapel

I'm back again for another week, guest-writing once again for David Bowers. Today's All the World's a Stage is themed in honor of Mr. Bowers, for whom today is a special day. Everyone at WoW Insider is wishing him the best and it's in the spirit of the festive and celebratory that we take a little bit of time to talk about the roleplay wedding.

Last week, we talked about some tips for setting up a roleplay event. These included a small series of steps that would help you formalize and execute an actual plan for such a gathering. Today, we're going to focus in on a specific kind of roleplay event -- the "roleplay wedding."

Roleplay weddings come and go in popularity. Just now, it's been a long while since I've heard of one happening on my server. But around this time last year, it seemed that I couldn't take a quiet stroll in Darnassus without tripping across a pair of Night Elves getting handfasted.

So, let's talk about that most sacred and beloved of roleplay subjects -- the wedding.

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Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, All the World's a Stage (Roleplaying)

15 Minutes of Fame: Lego fans assemble Booty Bay

15 Minutes of Fame is our look at World of Warcraft players of all shapes and sizes – from the renowned to the relatively anonymous, the remarkable to the player next door. Tip us off to players you'd like to hear more about.

Oh, snap – literally. Yes, that's Booty Bay, constructed completely from tens of thousands of Legos. It took Astrylian and Raeina, husband and wife WoW players from Eonar and long-time Lego aficionados, about a month to assemble this five-foot masterpiece. While WoW Insider couldn't lend the industrious couple an equivalent 43,000 minutes of fame, as soon as we saw their creative piece de resistance, we decided a solid 15 minutes were definitely in order.

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Filed under: Fan stuff, Features, Interviews, 15 Minutes of Fame

Forum post of the day: You and me against the World ... of Warcraft

Gotnerf of Vashj is facing a not-entirely-uncommon dilemma. His fiancé is has shown no interest in playing WoW. He believes that once she spends some time seeing him enjoy the game she will want to join in. Gotnerf asked other guys how they got their wives to play. While some suggestions were entirely unhelpful, many seemed encouraging.

Leadfoot of Feathermoon suggested a direct approach "You know how you're always saying we should spend more time together? We can share this together, honey." That's more or less how it worked for me. Zelkari of Spirestone recommended something most ladies can't resist, "Show her druids and their flight form." Strumpet of Eldre'thalas had some very grounding advice from experience:

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Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, How-tos, Virtual selves, Forum Post of the Day

Breakfast Topic: Your favorite playing partner

I love my wife. I don't think I can say it enough. I was able to convince her to play World of Warcraft with me when the game first came out and luckily for me, she got hooked. We've been playing partners ever since, from her getting lost in the Orc and Troll starting area to exploring Sunstrider Isle together for the first time. Sometimes, she humors me by playing a few Battlegrounds with me or even helps me complete my Arena games when my teammates -- who have more or less quit the game -- fail to log on for the week. Sure, I have to twist her arm to do it, but she enjoys ribbing me after matches: "I thought you were good? How come I beat your DPS and got all the Killing Blows?" Sometimes, I help her farm or watch her back while she fishes up another Mr. Pinchy. Even when we're not together -- like when she immerses herself at the Auction House while I PvP -- we chat in-game and IRL. I can't be thankful enough for actually being married to my favorite playing partner since others just aren't as lucky. Some of our bloggers, like Lisa Poisso, plays with her entire family! Just how cool is it to play with your better half and two kids? Amanda Dean has spent the last week showing her mom around Azeroth.

How about you? Do you have a favorite playing partner? Whether it's your significant other, a roommate, a brother or cousin, or maybe even someone you met in-game, is there someone you enjoy playing the game with more than other people? Maybe there is one person you spend more time with than anyone else in Azeroth (or the Outlands, as the case may be). Why? What makes the experience unique or special? The coolest thing about an MMO is that you play with other people. And sometimes, there are just some people we like playing with more than others.

Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Virtual selves, Odds and ends, Breakfast Topics

Officers' Quarters: When your mate is a member

Every Monday Scott Andrews contributes Officers' Quarters, a column about the ins and outs of guild leadership.

This is going to be a tricky week for me, since my girlfriend reads this column. Like most subjects, I'm not claiming to have all the answers about this, but in this case I'm really clueless sometimes. I'm wondering how other guild leaders and officers out there handle it.

So this week, I'm the one providing the question!

Dear Readers:

How do you deal with having a significant other in the guild -- especially when he or she isn't an officer?



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Filed under: Guilds, Officers' Quarters (Guild Leadership)

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