The cynic's guide to World of Warcraft

This article owes a heavy debt to Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary. If you want to see a real master at work, read that.
Filed under: Humor

Filed under: Humor
Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Cataclysm

Filed under: News items
Various tipsters and sources from around the web are reporting that the WotLK Friends and Family Alpha is now over. Deathknight.info reports that Eyonix has posted the official notice on the closed alpha boards, thanking everyone for participating.
There is, of course, no date given for the start of the beta, he only says that the team is hard at work preparing it. All alpha testers will be invited back for the beta, and will even be allowed to keep their characters after a short lockout period to allow new testers to catch up.
A poster at Wotlkwiki.info claims to have information from an alpha tester who is a member of a developer's family. The source says that they believe that Blizzard is rushing to meet an arbitrary deadline, as the game doesn't seem ready for beta testing -- this part, at least, is a bit hard for me to believe, since Blizzard has always marched to the beat of their own drum when it comes to release dates and deadlines. They also predict that we may need to wait until August to see the beta actually begin.
Regardless, it looks like beta will be upon us swiftly -- or at least soon. If you haven't opted in, now is a good time to do so. Once you've done that, keep checking WoW Insider. We'll let you know what we know as soon as we know it.
Filed under: Realm News, Analysis / Opinion, Realm Status, Blizzard, News items, Expansions, Wrath of the Lich King, Rumors

Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Death Knight, Wrath of the Lich King, Rumors
Here's some good Wrath of the Lich King rumor-juice for you tonight. Pictured to the right is what has shown up on the internet as a Wrath of the Lich King Collector's Edition box. I for one think it looks real. It was posted on the Paladin Schmaladin blog two months ago, although reader Allen just tipped us to it this evening.Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Wrath of the Lich King, Rumors
WoW Rookie is brought to our readers to help our newest players get acclimated to the game. Make sure you send a note to WoW Insider if you have suggestions for what new players need to know.
This has been an exciting week for World of Warcraft news and rumors. Blizzard has been hosting two major events Blizzcon and the World Wide Invitational. These events are a hotbed of information about WoW and other Blizzard Entertainment games. Here at WoW Insider we work hard to keep you on top of all of the latest developments in our beloved game. I'm sure you were aware, but this past weekend saw Blizzard's World Wide Invitational in Paris, France. Let's take a look at the kinds of information that we receive.
We did not get the piece of information that I was most hoping for: A release date for Wrath of the Lich King. Not even a beta date. Now there are a number of websites that have pre-order dates for Wrath, but none of them can be trusted as an actual estimation. We will get our new expansion "when it's ready." Blizzard is the only trustworthy source of this information. We will get that bit of information out as soon as it's available from the source.
Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Blizzard, News items, WoW Rookie, BlizzCon, Wrath of the Lich King, Rumors, Worldwide Invitational
July 3rd, 2008. This will either be a blessed day for a lot of us WoW addicted folk, or one of some major disappointment. According to the German site allvatar, they spoke with Blizzard's German assistant community manager Gnorog. He reportedly said that the community managers now had permission to announce the Wrath of the Lich King closed beta as starting on July 3rd.Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Blizzard, Wrath of the Lich King, Rumors

Filed under: Blizzard, News items, Wrath of the Lich King, Rumors
Basically, an achievement is an unlockable something, unlocked by reaching a certain goal. That's a vague definition, so here are some example goals hinted at by what's leaked out:
Achievements are clearly not yet implemented, even in the beta; many of the numbers in the screenshots are placeholder values, and the rewards for completing the achievements, whatever they may be, are completely unknown. It does look like there is a point system – the UI implies that each of the above achievements is rewarded with 50 points – but what might these points be used to purchase? Well, gear, most likely, but it's also possible that they may be a way to get prestige items, like special mounts or titles. Either way, I welcome yet another advancement path; more importantly, achievements are just plain fun!
Filed under: Wrath of the Lich King, Rumors, Achievements
If you're like me, you probably geek out at every bit of news that leaks out from the Wrath of the Lich King Alpha. Granted, there really aren't supposed to be any, but we fanboys take whatever we can. The curious thing is, what's the big deal? It's a game that was announced almost a year ago and doesn't look like it will come out anytime soon. Furthermore, the biggest things about the expansion such as the Death Knight hero class and Inscription profession has already been revealed.Filed under: Breakfast Topics, Expansions, Wrath of the Lich King

Tipster Graffias pointed out an exciting find in the latest leaked Alpha files for WoTLK: An Icon for a Brewfest Kodo. You may recall that last year's Brewfest included a Ram mount that was purchasable with tickets by both sides, allowing the Horde very easy access to an Alliance mount with a few days of grinding for Brewfest Prize Tickets. Many Alliance weren't happy with this, annoyed that the Horde got such easy access to an Alliance mount without having to kill Baron Rivendare or a Troll a couple hundred times. Bornakk decided that the best way to answer this criticism would be by promising the Alliance that the Horde would be getting access to yet another previously alliance-only mount skin in the Cenarion War Hippogryph. Of course, Kisirani, being as awesome as she is, later said that we should have patience and things would work out in the end.
Listening to the words of the world designer seem to have paid off, as it looks like the Dwarves are going to turn the tables on the Goblins this year and steal some Kodos from them. I can finally fulfill my dream of owning my very own Kodo. My Night Elf Druid is from Kalimdor after all, and you would think there would be some Night Elves who decided to domesticate Kodos as beasts of burden too.
But really, as much as I am looking forward to grabbing myself a Kodo (and seeing a tiny Gnome riding around on a huge beast of burden), what's really exciting is this thought: If the Brewfest is in late September to early October, does that mean Blizzard is planning to give us WoTLK by September, Brewfest Kodo and all?
Filed under: Patches, Analysis / Opinion, Events, Blizzard, News items, Expansions, Mounts, Wrath of the Lich King, Rumors
Fresh from the alpha leaks that have been coming our way is a new video posted on Vimeo that shows new Wrath of the Lich King gear for Hunters, Mages, Priests, Rogues, and Warlocks. We don't know what tier level (ie: 7.5, 8, 9) this gear is for, but we do know that it fits the overall model of previous tier gear.Filed under: Hunter, Mage, Priest, Rogue, Warlock, Wrath of the Lich King
Filed under: Items, Mounts, Death Knight, Wrath of the Lich King
Some kind soul just dropped by the Wrath alpha wiki and posted a whole slew of purported changes to existing spells and talents, slated for Wrath. I trust these changes even less than the usual alpha information I see floating around (hence the "rumors" category on this post), but other people on that wiki's community do seem to be verifying them. And they do jive with what you can see at this site, for what that's worth. Of course, even if they are really what's showing up in the alpha, they have a long ways and a lot of change to go before Wrath goes live.Filed under: Classes, Talents, Wrath of the Lich King, Rumors
| Event | Date |
|---|---|
| Love Is In the Air | 2/2 - 2/15 |
| Blackrock Foundry Normal and Heroic open | 2/3 |
| Darkmoon Faire | 2/8 - 2/15 |
| Blackrock Foundry Mythic opens | 2/10 |
| Lunar Festival | 2/16 - 3/2 |
| Blackrock Foundry LFR wing 1 opens | 2/17 |
| Blackrock Foundry LFR wing 2 opens | 2/24 |
| Darkmoon Faire | 3/1 - 3/8 |
| Blackrock Foundry LFR wing 3 opens | 3/10 |
| Blackrock Foundry LFR wing 4 opens | 3/24 |
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