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Totem Talk: Enhancement 201, spell selection

Rich Maloy is currently working on a distributed processing application called SimIt!@HOME which will calculate all possible enhancement shaman spell rotations for any possible situation given any gear combination. The application will also have an option to calculate all potential scenarios in which "sim it" is a half-a** answer but you should say it anyway.

If I told you the enhancement shaman basic spell rotation was: SR, FE, SW, MW5_LB, MT(0), LS(1), ES_SS, SS, FS, ES, LL, FN would you run away screaming?

What if I told you that was just for single target boss encounters and there's a different priority for boss fights that require changing targets, another priority for boss fights with heavy adds, and yet another priority for trash mobs. Scared yet?

It's OK. Please come back. This is what we Enhancers have bouncing around in our head. I'll make everything alright by breaking it down into a few easy-to-remember chunks. Because we all like chunks.

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Filed under: Shaman, (Shaman) Totem Talk

All the World's a Stage: So you want to be a Shaman

This installment of All the World's a Stage is the twentieth in a series of roleplaying guides in which we find out all the background information you need to roleplay a particular race or class well, without embarrassing yourself.

Long long ago, human beings all around the world (of Earth, not Warcraft) investigated different ways of describing how the world around them worked. Many different cultures found that the materials they encountered seemed divided into four or five separate elements, each with its own properties: earth, fire, water, and air. Space, "void," or "aether" was often noted as the fifth element, or, as in the case of China, the understanding of these elements looked a lot different but in the end produced a similar sort of system.

In Azeroth, however, these ideas about the elements never got swallowed up by modern science and the periodic table of elements. They turned out to be real forces in the world, each with its own set of elemental spirits, which people could communicate and cooperate with.

Shamans are the masters of this magical task, charged with helping to maintain the balance of nature in a very different way from druids. While druids are focused more on nature as a system of energy, life, and growth, shamans focus more on the spirits of the land, flames, waters and skies as they all interact with one another. They gain great wisdom by learning of the different characteristics of these elements, and in turn bring this wisdom to the people they serve.

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Filed under: Horde, Alliance, Orcs, Tauren, Trolls, Shaman, Draenei, Lore, Guides, RP, Classes, All the World's a Stage (Roleplaying)

Blizzard misspells "Arthus" in Wrath's box


In the product catalog that comes with Wrath of the Lich King, Blizzard misspells Arthas as "Arthus" on page six. It's pictured above for those of you not digging through your stuff to grab the catalog and see for yourself.

I'm not going to criticize the folks at Blizzard for making a spelling mistake. God only knows that I've made a number of them myself. But usually I do them without an editor or reviewer. But that's just me. I don't know enough about the situation at Blizzard to really comment otherwise.

None the less there it is, and you're free to make whatever assumptions you may make about it.

Thanks to Knuxx and Taeous for the picture and tip.

Filed under: Blizzard, Wrath of the Lich King

Forum Post of the Day: I'm a WoW Widow

And Belfaire doesn't care.

Reader Kyver tipped us off to a gem of a post on the Customer Service Forums today, titled "I'm a WoW Widow" (moderately NSFW, PG-13 rating). The story goes like this: A girl, Missmegan, lost her boyfriend to the Burning Crusades [sic]. They used to play together horde side, but after buying the expansion he turned to the alliance and is dedicated to his guild mates. All is lost, as he's no longer interested in his girlfriend's "assets" and rambles like a two-year old.

Of course this makes our forum posting protagonist upset, and she needs her boyfriend back. Now obviously this is a joke. At least I hope it is. And Katie (my girlfriend), if you're reading this I promise I'll never let it get this bad. I mean, I only play for 5 hours a day, not 13 as the boyfriend in the story does. And I make money with all this, so it's okay, right? Sweetie? Darling? Honey... D'oh....

Tagging the first response to this thread is Belfaire The Mighty, with the simple response "Dear WoW Widow, It's actually Burning Crusade. Yours, Belfaire." This had myself and the other writers here laughing. We had to share it.

So dear readers, I ask you, are you a WoW widow?

Filed under: Virtual selves, Humor

Five tips for guild applications

So maybe your current guild just isn't doing it for you. They're casual players and you're ready to step into something more hardcore, or you can sense some impending guild drama and want to be far away, or maybe they're like my guildmates and keep talking about wangs in guild chat for, like, half an hour. It's time to suck it up, tell them you're moving on, and then go to the realm forums and start filling out guild applications.

Despite what you may think, guild applications aren't quite as rough as job applications. They're mainly there to weed out the total idiots and incompetents. On the other hand, it's pretty easy to appear like a total idiot or incompetent, so here are some tips for your applications. Happy hunting!

  1. Don't spell like a moron. Yes, yes, it's the Internet and spelling and grammar aren't cool among the kids these days. Nevertheless, you're trying to impress these people, so at least make some effort to not type like a monkey undergoing shock treatment. Typing in all lower-case with no punctuation except for "lol" makes the guild officers think that you're going to be a nightmare to have in guild chat, and they're probably right.
  2. Use the actual guild's application. Not a generic application. Not another guild's application. ESPECIALLY not the application of the archnemesis of the guild you're applying to. This is usually an automatic disqualification -- if you can't take the time to fill out the application, how are you going to abide by the guild rules?
  3. Don't flirt or post pictures. No one cares that you're a girl. Really. No, really. They care about how well you can play. If they ask for your gender, it's okay to tell the truth, but including revealing pics or a link to your myspace in your application screams "In the future, I will carry on an ongoing flirtation with several guildmates that will eventually destroy the entire organization." I would assume it's also verboten for a guy to flirt and post half-naked pictures in his guild application, but honestly I would probably /ginvite that person just to watch the chaos that ensues.
  4. Don't complain about your last guild. Even if the split was really bad, just say "there were some issues about _____ and I decided to move on." An epic description of the drama in your last guild makes you look bad, and some of the officers in your wanna-be-new guild probably have friends in your old one.
  5. Don't talk about what they can give you -- talk about what you can give them. I have seen many guild applications where the reason for joining boils down to "I want to get gear and you guys are progressed!" Sure, that's probably the real reason for it, but it's considered tactless (kind of like saying "I really need some money" during a job interview.) Instead, talk about your desire to see new content, meet new people, and help your guild in new encounters. Don't mention gear at all, really.

Do you have any tips for guild applications, or do you find the whole concept kind of distasteful?

Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Tips, How-tos, Guilds

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