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Posts with tag wow-ss

Around Azeroth: Suspicious minds

Pay no attention to the voidwalkers. We are priests. Do you not see our priestly garb? Be quiet and let us heal you. Just close your eyes. It will only take a moment. That feeling is not your soul leaving you body. It is the healing process. Your bones are supposed to char like that. (Thanks to not-warlocks Taikoen, Kaiapo and Heleuma of Farstriders [US-A] and Bruin of Silver Hand [US-H] for the screenshot!)

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Filed under: Around Azeroth

Around Azeroth: The Darkmoon fishing disaster of 2014

"What finer way to relax than trying to fish up a pony or two and some of Azeroth's larger specimens?" asks submitter Ucagru of Saurfang (US-A). "I also had the chance to do some impromptu stat taking; less than one in five people shot out of the cannon landed a bulls-eye. Seven gnomes, three belfs, one troll were harmed in the taking of this photo.* **

* I don't include undead, because they're already dead so I figure they don't count.
** One tauren also acquired a new nose piercing, but seemed to be quite happy with the look."


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Filed under: Around Azeroth

Around Azeroth: Looking for love in all the wrong places

Submitter Azduke of Fluffy Unicorns on Thaurrisan (US-H) is getting a little desperate to find a date for her school's Homecoming dance. The blood elves always get asked first, then whichever undead women aren't missing too many important body parts, then the pretty-faced trolls. But what of the orcs, the tauren, the goblins, and the pandaren? Surely they deserve dates too. Or they could just do what I did for senior homecoming, which is what horrible tentacle anime in my friend's basement, play Airsoft, and watch my best friend burn off all his arm hair experimenting with chemistry. Still more fun than listening to Bryan Adams songs and pretending I knew how to slow dance.

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Filed under: Around Azeroth

Around Azeroth: Maternal instincts

"Here's a little scene that Klarisse, my tauren shaman on Argent Dawn (US-H), ran across," writes today's submitter. "Just to prove that not all members of the Horde are evil and uncaring, this kindly guardian druid ran across a couple lost, orphaned, and hungry panda cubs. She decided to adopt them and give them a good meal." Now I'm all in favor of the right to breastfeed in public, but I'm not sure that the middle of Orgrimmar is the best place to do it. All those people riding wolves and dinosaurs and mammoths through the place seems like it would be a pretty dangerous environment for nursing.

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Filed under: Around Azeroth

Around Azeroth, Beta Edition: The chairs up there

"I had to check out Nethergarde Keep because I heard bad things may have happened to it," writes submitter Shikí of Sojourner on Kargath (US-A). "This was indeed true, as has been seen before with the flaming-but-still-alive gryphons. However, I couldn't help notice the incredible levitating furniture that faithfully defies the Iron Horde. Who cares if there isn't a floor? The chairs will guard its memory. (I tried to sit in one of them, but it wouldn't let me.)"

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Filed under: Around Azeroth

Around Azeroth, Beta Edition: A woman of mystery

Who is that orc? She's so mysterious! Well, she's standing atop a bed of flowers using a branch with berries as a sword and a flower as a shield, which is actually pretty mysterious behavior for anyone who isn't a six-year-old girl or a drunk cosplayer. Still, if you have to title yourself Mysterious Orc, you might be trying a little too hard. (Thanks to beta tester Nganga of Pact of War on Silver Hand [US-H] for the screenshot!)

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Filed under: Around Azeroth

Around Azeroth, Beta Edition: If you want a friend in Draenor, get a dog

"Let's talk about the most important development in Warlords of Draenor from last week: Dog appeared in my garrison!" writes beta tester Riyahnasheed. For those of you who got fed up with your farm and stopped messing with it ages ago, this is the same Lost Dog who shows up in Halfhill after completing his quest and getting revered with the Tillers. "He appeared in my herb garden in the most recent build with food, a house and Murloc plushie." Maybe he just likes snacking on people's herbs.

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Filed under: Around Azeroth

Around Azeroth, Beta Edition: I want to put on my boogie shoes

"As a devoted follower of Vol'jin, I be determined to crush the Iron Horde underfoot," writes beta tester Feathery. "I even convinced a bored peon in Wor'var to help me wit' my aim. That don't be such a great idea, though, because he kept licking my foot. Please, can trolls get some shoes? Ya don't really want to see a grown troll resort to making puppy dog eyes, do ya, mon?" Well, it'd be less scary than those crazy female gnome eyes, that's for sure.

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Filed under: Around Azeroth

Around Azeroth: Give us dirty laundry

"While running some guild members through heroic Culling of Stratholme to get the Zombiefest achievement, I noticed this tucked off in a corner," writes submitter Epicurian of Spectacular Death on Llane (US-A). "I realized this is something you don't see in the towns and villages in Azeroth. Do they all have electricity so they all have dryers? Or are they keeping the local economy going by tossing out all their dirty clothing and buying new? Come to think of it, we don't even clean our clothes. Day after day, week after week, month after month, stuck in the same suit of armor. It's kind of interesting that the one place where people are doing their laundry is where they are all about to become zombies."

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Filed under: Around Azeroth

Around Azeroth: Mutant turtles that are neither teenage nor ninja

"So I was flying the far-flung reaches of Pandaria and Kun Lai when something passed me," writes submitter Arugadh of The Brotherhood of Iron on Wyrmrest Accord (US-A). "I halted, stared, stared again ... and then dove for the screen-cap command. A flying turtle. No, seriously, a FLYING TURTLE. And no, I hadn't had too much of the Stormstout Ale. Meet Lon'Li Guju, a lonesome, sad angel of a turtle named for Lonesome George, the last Pinta Island tortoise (a species now extinct, as George died in 2012). If you emote at him, even from quite a distance away, he'll do a 180 degree turn, come flying up to you, and follow you around like a puppy."

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Filed under: Around Azeroth

Around Azeroth, Beta Edition: Fear and loathing in Shadowmoon Valley

What do you think you're doing, squid boy? This is frog country. We don't take kindly to you two-legged folk in these parts. So why don't you just hearth on back home and pretend you never stumbled upon this little meeting. We'd hate to have to secrete mucus all over your equipment, blueskin. (Thanks to beta tester Jaeren of Bethrian Guard on Earthen Ring [US-A] for this screenshot!)

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Filed under: Around Azeroth

Around Azeroth, Beta Edition: A tale of two warchiefs

To whom it may concern, and also the Alliance:

A mysterious photo recently fell into the hands of [REDACTED], an orc rogue gathering information in the WoD beta. As you can see, it shows a Very Secret Meeting between two members of the Horde, one of whom recently escaped imprisonment in the Temple of the White Tiger. How these two Horde leaders came together and what they talked about will probably remain a mystery, as [REDACTED] confirmed all three Horde champions present at the meeting were shortly thereafter dispatched through an unidentified portal into parts unknown. There are persistent but unconfirmed rumors that one of the champions, before disappearing through the portal, was given a letter to be delivered to Alleria Windrunner.

Sincerely,
[REDACTED]
(Thanks to our top-secret informant for this screenshot.)


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Filed under: Around Azeroth

Around Azeroth, Beta Edition: Wreck-It Rexxar

"So a word of advice when dealing with Rexxar: pet haters need not apply," writes beta tester Riyahnasheed. "The local Iron Horde didn't really seem to grasp this message. This may be related to the spontaneous appearance of numerous size 18 boot prints on the backsides of the orcs who had been holding Nisha captive." I'd be more scared of the giant angry bird than Rexxar, even if he is the Horde's version of Chuck Norris. (Insert Barrens chat joke here.)

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Filed under: Around Azeroth

Around Azeroth, Beta Edition: Birdhouse in your soul

"I am a rogue. Master of stealth, poisoner of blades, stealer of purses and lives," writes beta tester Roycroft of Has Candy on Wyrmrest Accord (US-A). "Like a cat, I move unseen, ready to spring, with fists full of knives. And there's a bird on my head. A cute little bird. On my head. (No rogues or birds were hurt in the taking of this picture.)"

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Filed under: Around Azeroth

Around Azeroth, Beta Edition: I shall call him Mini-Me

Beta tester Nikolatesla of Bauhaus on Proudmoore (US-A) was working on the aptly-named quest "Going Undercover" in Shadowmoon Valley the other day when he noticed a bit of a flaw in the orc disguise he was given. Fortunately, as a mage, he was able to give himself a quick Arcane Brilliance boost and come up with a story involving an affair with an alchemist's wife that led to a shrinking potion being slipped into his coffee. Now he's just got to think of a reasonable explanation for why he's carrying forty orc teeth from Ashran in his pack.

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Filed under: Around Azeroth

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