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Around Azeroth: Defenders of the flag

"Spectacular Death on Llane (US-A) feels it's our sworn duty to conduct the experiments which answer those burning questions you never knew you had," writes submitter Gimmlette. "For instance, our latest experiment was conducted in Halaa. Just how many guild members will fit on top of the flag? We got to six before it was too hard to see the top on account of the mammoths, the Brewfest Kodo, the bear tank, the spider, the wolf, the horse ... This compares positively to the fountain in the Dwarven section of Stormwind, which will only hold three people."

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Around Azeroth: Think you better slow your mustang down

"Looks like we already got that pony Ghostcrawler promised years ago," writes submitter Thelé of Tactical Powerless Ameba on Kilrogg (EU-A). "We were just too blind to notice it! But I guess the death knights are his spoiled children, and everyone else will have to wait some more for their turn of fatherly attention." People, this joke is no more! It has ceased to be! It has expired and gone to meet its maker! It's kicked the bucket, it's shuffled off its mortal coil. run down the curtain and joined the bleeding choir invisible! This is an ex-joke! But I enjoy screenshots of characters on grossly undersized mounts, so I'll allow it this one last time.

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Around Azeroth: Behold, now, the terrible vengeance of the guy stuck with the bar tab!

"I'd heard me old paladin buddy Arthas had gotten a promotion up north, so I decided to drop in on him as a surprise ... and the scunner started haranguing me about an old bar tab," writes submitter Arugadh of The Brotherhood of Iron on Wyrmrest Accord (US-A). "Hey, HE lost our drinking contest and passed ou -- er, fell asleep right there at the Lion's Inn, so by the rules, that meant he had to take care of the night's tab. How was I to know he'd be a sore loser after all these years? Not like I'd drunk the place dry or anything, y'know. Okay, maybe half-dry. Okay, OKAY, only a half-keg was left. But still, that's no reason to pull out this huge can of whomp-butt on me and use me as a guinea pig for his new 'hangover cure.'"

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Around Azeroth: A mighty wind

Oh, now that's just rude. I thought that pandaren were supposed to be from an ancient and refined civilization. It turns out that they're just like everyone else. Get them too drunk and suddenly they're stumbling around the Elwynn Forest, singing inappropriate show tunes, dancing with training dummies and passing gas on poor, innocent squirrels. Have some respect for your noble heritage, bear-man! Go fart on the Horde instead! (Thanks to submitter Jellybubble of The Red Wedding on Shadowsong [EU-A] for the screenshot.)

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Around Azeroth: The trojan murloc

"Us hard-working, realm-exploring Paladins have to kick back and relax, too, you know," writes submitter Arugadh of The Brotherhood of Iron on Wyrmrest Accord (US-A). "And what better way to do it than riding on a murloc bouncy with enough ale barrels behind me to last an hour or so. Emphasis on the 'or so.'" If you'll excuse me, I'm suddenly having flashbacks to every party I've ever been to as an adult that has featured alcohol and a bouncy castle.

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Around Azeroth: I want to play with the big kids

Submitter Wumper of Carpe Jugulum on Saurfang (US-A) was taking his Baby Blizzard Bear out for his daily constitutional when they happened to pass a row of guardian druids practicing their meditation. Now, Wumper is beginning to think that his bear might have developed ambitions far above his abilities. Anyone want to tell this little guy that he doesn't have the raw physicality necessary to be a heroic tank? I'd do it, but my last time doing something like this was when I tried to tell Russell Wilson that he wasn't tall enough to be a starting NFL quarterback, and we all know how that went.

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Around Azeroth: A painted world

"As WoW approaches ten years and we head into what looks to be a visually impressive expansion, I still catch myself admiring the scenic beauty of bygone zones from years past," writes submitter Saikura of Turalyon (US-A). "This vista needs no introduction. The WoW we play leaps from the creative minds and imaginations, and pages, of the Art Development team. As you can see, the finished product easily translates back in a few short steps in Photoshop. I think this captures the game perfectly for me. Artistically, WoW has that timeless storybook look and feel that never gets old!" Shortly after he sent me this screenshot, Saikura was kidnapped and assassinated by the Borderlands art development hit squad for discovering their secret.



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Around Azeroth: No gods, no masters

Who does a gnome have to kill to rule a city around here? Tired of taking orders from Varian Wrynn, submitter Pyrabola of Gnomeregan Forever on Wyrmrest Accord (US-A) has found a way to summon not one, but TWO abyssals to her side. Now she just has to figure out a way to kill the king and his guards, subjugate the city's population, and proclaim herself Emperor for Life in the next ... uh, one minute. Then she'll have to wait ten minutes to try again. Cooldowns can be such a bummer.

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Around Azeroth: The siren song of the can opener

What feline mind can resist the grinding and squeaking noises that only appear when your food slave loyal guardian opens a can of fresh turkey giblets or tuna sides or whatever disgusting things cats are eating today? Feral druid Nganga of Pact of War on Silver Hand certainly can't. So even though his tauren side is screaming "It's a trap! It's not a can opener! Run, you fool!", he still ended up staring in fascination at this contraption, causing three wipes on Mimiron before he was booted from the group for his own safety.

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Around Azeroth: A tower of mounts

"While grabbing a few old achievements after raid night, we discovered that you can briefly go into stag form while on the camel in Halls of Origination, and more interestingly, that while glyphed you can ride said stag form on the camel," writes submitter Toralea of Blessed of Elune on Kirin Tor (US-A). "We tried stacking it even higher by having our warrior mount one druid, then having that druid try to jump on me, but unfortunately I didn't have a good shot of our failed attempt. So I'm sending in this one, which is amusing enough."



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Around Azeroth: Days of future past

"Can you tell I've been on a classic lore kick lately?" writes submitter Arugadh of The Brotherhood of Iron on Wyrmrest Accord (US-A). "One of the advantages of out-gearing the old instances is that you can go back and take the time to actually explore those instances, and the moments and lore they represent. Stop and smell the swiftthistle, so to speak. Here, we've got Medivh in Black Morass, just before he summons the orcs to sweep across Azeroth ... and you realize that the Black Morass was how the Blasted Lands used to look before that Dark Portal turned it into the demon-ravaged wasteland it is now. Did Medivh truly realize what he was about to unleash? Or was he too caught up in his Club-Trix-worthy disco-craziness to care?"

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Around Azeroth: Bunnies, bunnies, it must be bunnies!

"I was wandering through the Cathedral District when suddenly a very, very large crowd of bunnies engulfed my little gnome," writes submitter Tinakink of The One Fellowship on Moon Guard (US-A). "Being a curious type, I started following them. Soon I was a bunny as well, and learned that this was the coming of the Bunnygeddon, a mass invasion of the furred kind. Our army of about twenty-five bunnies swarmed across Stormwind, first capturing the Trade District to absorb more bunnies to our cause, then charging to Goldshire, taking over the Inn, and rechristening the beleaguered town Carrotshire. With that done, we marched back to Stormwind, captured the 'Furthedral', and after a passionate speech from our leader Queen Moon, we charged off en-masse to Stormwind Castle to put the king of men to the carrot. After much biting of Varian's ankles, our swelled ranks descended upon our final stop, the Blue 'Furcluse', and proceeded to take it over, drawing quite the crowd as we hopped all over and began selling Juicycrunch Carrots and carrot-related foods for a while.



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Filed under: Around Azeroth

Around Azeroth: Down a dark path

Listen, kiddo, I know you've had a fun week adventuring with me. And I definitely understand why you don't want to go back to that orphanage. But being a shadow priest isn't as fun as it might look. It takes dedication ... concentration ... a willingness to have everyone in your guild be disappointed that you're not a healer. If the orphanage is that terrible, may I suggest that you take a cue from another popular video game and perform a little ritual? Dark Brotherhood or shadow priest, your soul is damned either way. (Thanks to submitter Chocomoose of The Outcast on The Maelstrom [EU-A] for the screenshot)

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Around Azeroth: No room at the inn

"Thanks to the weakening of the boundaries between alternate realities (CRZ), this is just your average day in Goldshire's Lion's Pride Inn," writes submitter Enishi of Darkwind on Wyrmrest Accord (US-A). "Alliance, Horde, debauchery, it's all here. Those unfamiliar with this Moon Guard reality take heed; there have been troubling reports about people who've spent too much time there. It changes everything about them -- acting different, dressing different, growing mustaches. They collect robes, lotions, new bedspreads, curtains, have tastes for thick carpeting and weirdo lighting, and they often get new friends to match their new tastes. If you're not into that, keep your head down, get in, do your quests, get out, and leave town without reading chat."



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Around Azeroth: Journey to the land of whimsy!

"Rumors fly quickly in Azeroth, especially with Orgrimmar still under siege after all of these long, bitter months," writes submitter Billdoor of The Penguin Mafia on Kalecgos (US-H). "After hearing one particularly unsettling story about changes affecting the Dark Portal, Billdoor set out immediately to do what he does best: apply blades to whatever may be causing the problem. Imagine, then, his surprise when he arrived to find that the fel-tainted green Dark Portal was now the glorious pink Fabulous Portal! A celebratory trip to the barber shop was arranged shortly after."

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Filed under: Around Azeroth

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